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TWO GRAY TOURISTS 



From Papers of Mr. Philemoe Perch. 



— EDITED BY- 



RICHARD MALCOLM JOHNSTON, 

Author of "Old Mark Langston," "Dukesborough 



<\* 







** His travel has not stopped him 
As you suppose, nor altered any freedom, 
But made him far more clear and excellent. 

—Queen of Corinth. 



new yobk : 
P. J. KENEDY, 

ExcEiiSion Catholic Publishing Homo, 

5 Babciay Stbeet, 

1893. 



* 



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PREFACE. 



This work contains an account, written by Mr. 
Philemon Perch, of a brief tour, made by himself 
together with his friend, Major James Rawls, both 
natives of the State of Georgia (the latter yet resident 
therein), in England, Scotland, Belgium, the Rhine- 
region, Switzerland, and France. They are dear 
friends, and have been for more than forty years, 
though, in some respects, quite dissimilar. Mr. 
Perch, a student, tall and slender, is sentimental, 
often absent-minded, and perhaps too fond of anti- 
quarian research. Major Rawls, a planter, stout, 
rather below middle height, is practical, entirely 
modern, energetic, and, on occasion, somewhat pug- 
nacious. This is a record of the sights these tourists 
saw together, and the impressions made upon them. 
I found, on reading the manuscript, that their dis- 
cussions upon several subjects of former and present 
interest had brought forth many observations upon 
the classical, mediaeval, and modern conditions of 
some of the scenes through which they passed. 

To my proposal to publish, Mr. Perch assented 
more readily, because of a habit of printing his 
thoughts. Major Rawls, perhaps,would have preferred 
to keep out of print, but for his affection for his 

(3) 



IV PREFACE. 

friend, and, partly, the urgent entreaties of his 
youngest son, Jake. Moreover, he argued (with 
himself), that among his numerous friends and 
acquaintances, he had been questioned about this 
journey some two thousand times, more or less, and 
he wondered whether it might not be about as well to 
let Phil (as he calls him) tell what there was in it, 
and so leave himself to have something else to talk 
about. He has not seen what is herein written ; but 
he was ready to conclude that if Mr. Perch could 
stand it he might also. 

Acting on such consent, I submit these papers, 
hoping that whoever reads them may have some 
measure of the entertainment that I have had in 
editing. R. M. J. 



TABLE OF COHTEHTS. 



PAGE. 

CHAPTER I. 

Major Rawls' Proposal; Misgivings; A Timely Comforter; 
The Departure 1 

CHAPTER II. 

The Gallia ; Miscalculations of Mr. Minton about Meat and 
Greens ; A Contagion ; Champagne and Crackers ; The 
Fog-Horn; Partial Eclipses of Honeymoons. . . 9 

CHAPTER III. 

A Lesson from the Liverpool Docks ; An Unexpected Host ; 
The Proprietor of the Adelphi; Chester; Completing 
the Circle ; Advice to the Dean 23 

CHAPTER IV. 

English Railroads; The Question of Water; Shrewsbury 
Clock; Boscobel; Kings, especially Queens; Birming- 
ham . . .38 

CHAPTER V. 

Leamington ; Stoneleigh ; Rabbits' Evening Hop ; Kenil- 
worth ; "The King's Head " of Coventry; The Thread 
of Ariadne ; St. Michael's ; Lady Godiva. . .48 

CHAPTER VI. 

Guy's Cliffe ; Warwick Castle ; Sideboards, Bowls and Pots ; 
Charlecote ; The Red Horse ; Two Kinds of Roses ; Ma- 
ternal Prophesyings ; Curse of Venus. . . .62 

(5) 



VI CCXNTEHTS. 

PAGE. 

CHAPTER VII. 

Sunday Morning in the Country ; Randolph of Oxford ; St. 
Mary's ; Tom; Old Shoes Preferred ; Tomb of the Fair 
Rosamond ; Godstowe ; The Queen at Home. . . 75 

CHAPTER VIII. 

The Langham ; Decline of Barmaids ; Ages of the Old Mas- 
ters ; Queen Eleanour's Pall-bearers ; Removal of Poetry 
from Chester Walls to Whitehall; Westminster ; Achilles 
and the Grasshopper 83 

CHAPTER IX. 

Room for the Dead ; St. James' and Green Parks ; Accident 
to the Poet Rogers ; Rotten Row and the Ring ; Ken- 
sington ; A Sensible Widow ; The Argyle. . . ,93 

CHAPTER X. 

Henrietta Maria ; Literary Revolution ; Temple Bar and the 
Fleet ; Goldsmith and Johnson ; The Roses ; St. Bride's ; 
The Nosegay of St. Sepulchre's ; St. Paul's ; The Tower ; 
Raleigh's History 106 

CHAPTER XI. 

John's Tower at Windsor ; Joanna Beaufort ; Heme's Oak; 
The Warmest Dress a Man Can Wear ; Kew Gardens 
and Emily ; The Star and Garter; Riches and Poverty ; 
Assault with a Case Knife; Horace Walpole ; Pope's 
Grotto ; Hampton Court ; From Kew to Westminster 
Bridge ; London Charities 119 

CHAPTER XII. 

Queen Boadicea and Silanus; Mr. Flynt of Yorkshire; 
Robin and Kirksley Hall ; The Black Swan ; Bishops- 
thorpe ; Yorkminster ; Severus and Julia Domna ; Con- 
stantine the Great ; Marriage Lotteries ; Pons Aelii of 
Hadrian; Bede and Saint Cuthbert; Holy Well of 
Jesus; The Cheviots and the Lothians. . . .137 



CONTENTS. Vll 



CHAPTER XIII. 



Holyrood ; Heart of Midlothian; Castle ; Stirling ; The 
Bag-pipes ; The Stag-Hunt ; Familiar Whiskey Music ; 
Loch Katrine ; Scotch Bens ; Rob Roy ; Dunbarton ; 
Glasgow ; Kirkconnel lee ; Ayrshire : The Duke of Port- 
land ; Dumfries ; The Claymore and Basket-making ; 
Gretna-Green; Carlisle. . ... . .151 

CHAPTER XIV. 

Assault upon Mr. Rawls ; Antwerp ; Brussels ; Waterloo ; 
Lou vain ; Aix-la-Chapelle ; Speculations on the Dom, 
on Going to Meeting and on Smells; Discharging a 
Touter ; Oppidum Ubiorum. ..... 175 

CHAPTER XV. 

The Rhine ; Bonn ; Legend of Roland seek ; Coblentz ; The 
Pfalz ; The Rhinegau ; Mayence ; A Bottle of Johannis- 
berger ; Darmstadt ; June Bugs ; Heidelberg ; The Black 
Forest ; Harvesting. . . ... . . . 192 

CHAPTER XVI. 

Baden-Baden ; Bee Raising in Germany ; Convent of Lich- 
tenstein ; Strassburg ; Consule Planco ; A Cure for 
Love; "The Three Kings;''' Lucerne; Lion of Thor- 
waldsen ; The Righi ; The Brunig ; Brienz. . . . 203 

CHAPTER XVII. 

Interlachen ; The Jungfrau ; No^el Travelling ; Getting up 
an Avalanche ; Angels' Songs ; Grindenwald ; Chamois ; 
St. Beatus ; Thun ; Geneva ; Orgetorix ; None of Your 
Pontoons 214 

CHAPTER XVIII. 

Lake Leman ; Chillon ; Josephine ; Temperance-Laws ; The 
Diligence ; A Gentle Caution ; Chamouni ; Mer de Glace ; 
Caballinium and Dumnorix ; Dijon ; The Senones Gauls. 227 



nu CONTENTS. 



CHAPTER XIX. 



Place de la Concorde; Champs Elysees; Strange Sunday 
Doings ; The Madeleine ; Faubourg St. Antoine ; Pere 
Lachaise; Notre Dame ; Hotel Cluny ; Julian the Apos- 
tate ; Old Col. Blackford ; Hotel des Invalides ; Champ 
de Mars ; Bois de Boulogne 240 

CHAPTER XX. 

The Luxembourg ; Delaroach's Death of Elizabeth ; 
The Louvre; Palais Royal; The Bourse; St. Cloud; 
Versailles ; Convention of Dogs ; French Charities ; 
Rouen ; Uncertainty about Dinner ; Three Cups of Coffee 
and an Exordium. ....... 250 

CHAPTER XXI. 

Tring ; Nell Gwynne ; Weedon ; The Mercians ; Via Vitel- 
liana; Rugby; The Difficulty with School-masters; 
Something Better than English Lakes; Emigrants' 
Amusements ; The Pilot Boat ; The New York Herald; 
Wants; Retrospection; Adieux 264 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 



CHAPTER I, 




T was a matter of some surprise to me one day 
to get a letter from my old friend, Jim Kawls, 
of Todd's Mill, Georgia, proposing that he and 
I should make a voyage to Europe together. 
"When I was younger and more prosperous,! had often 
dreamed, and so had Jim sometimes, of a brief tour in 
the Old World, and we had been hindered first by one 
and then another obstacle: dread of the great waters, 
reluctance to put ourselves at so vast distance from home, 
business engagements, and so forth. Years passed, the 
war came, bringing what it brought, and leaving what 
it left. Not that it left Jim in as sad condition as that 
of most others in his section. He yet had a good plan- 
tation, with grist and saw mills, some State bonds and 
railroad stocks, with several of his neighbors as debtors. 
With the last he made generous compositions, and went 
to work with renewed vigor. One of his sons had died 
while serving in the army. This hurt him sorely; for 
the boy was very promising. But his two others had 
come through unscathed in health and character, and 
little Jake was born some years afterwards. There were 



2 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

two married daughters, and one single. Above them all 
was his wife, once Miss Emily Todd, whom he has 
always believed, and most probably always will believe 
to be, the finest woman in Georgia. His former slaves, 
or the most of them, have remained with him, and mat- 
ters at his home look very much as in old times. 

Yet his health of late had declined somewhat. He 
always would cry a little whenever the war was men- 
tioned, and he thought of his boy. His family feared 
he had been yielding too frequently to that regret, 
and they persuaded him to take a sea voyage. Singu- 
larly enough, I had been entertaining a similar notion- 
occasionally throughout the winter. His consent to go 
was conditioned upon my accompanying him ; and cer- 
tainly I could not have desired a more fit companion in 
travel than my old friend of forty-five years and upwards. 
For Jim Eawls is as true a man as I ever knew. Al- 
though he had never taken eagerly to books while at 
school, yet, after growing up, he has read extensively, 
especially on history, agriculture, and mechanics, and 
is right familiar with Shakspeare, the only poet he 
cares much about. He is brave, even inclining to 
pugnacity, but thoroughly generous and good humored. 
From the letter he wrote to me, I saw that, in spite of 
some loss of health and spirit, not nigh all the old fund 
of good humor had left him. 

" The truth is, Phil, if you and I are ever to see the 
old country, it's got to be soon. It won't be long before 
it will be slow travelling for you and me. And then 
both of us are rusty ; you not so much as I am, but you 
ain't bright like you used to be when you were young. 
I told Emily so the last time you were here ; and then 
Emily laughed and said that Bob Dudley's wife told her 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 3 

that you had said exactly the same thing about me. 
Now a little travel, if we can make the trip, and get 
back all safe, will do us both good, freshen us up a 
little, make our folks think a little more of us, and, 
may be, even feel a little proud of us. Think on it, 
and think fast. If you'll go, I will. If you won't, 
I won't. But let us try and make the trip, and have 
a little bit of fun together one more time, and have 
something to talk about instead of hanging on to what 
we've talked out heretofore." 

And yet, after we had agreed, the undertaking 
seemed to us both, especially to me, so vast and perilous, 
that I doubt if we should'nt have retreated but for the 
urgent persuasions of our friends and the fear of being 
considered as having too much levity for men of our 
age. Jim had the advantage over me of having been 
the first to take leave and break off from home. Besides, 
he was always a man of more resolute purpose than 
myself, and could do, thoroughly and without hesita- 
tion, whatever he had once made up his mind to. By 
the time he had reached my residence, he had the talk 
and the air of a man who had travelled considerably 
already. I caught as much of his infection as I could, 
and when the young people, in obedience to his request, 
brought out from the piles of old forgotten songs, "A 
Life on the Ocean Wave," and he pretended to keep 
time to the music, if I had been even more soft than I 
was already, I should have been forced to laugh heartily. 

" Phil, my boy, we shall soon be laying our hands on 
old ocean's mane, and playing familiar with his hoary 
locks, as the ancient writers used to say." 

l( "What do you suppose Byron meant by that sort of 
talk, Jim?" 



4 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

" I never had the slightest idea; but it sounds plucky. 
Still, if old ocean will take us over and bring us back 
again safe and sound, I shan't meddle with his locks 
nor anything else that belongs to him." 

We reached New York on the day before the Gallia 
was to sail. The interval we spent, for the most part, 
in our chamber, talking together with what spirit we 
could command, and writing repeated farewells to those 
at home. "We boarded at the St. Nicholas. Once, while 
he was writing to Jake, I saw Jim brush a tear from his 
eye. How the sight touched me ! He noticed it, and 
at once rose and rung the bell. 

" Bring us up," he said to the servant, " two good, big, 
stiff juleps, with a plenty of mint, and everything else 
in 'em." 

Upon my word. I doubt if I ever knew a circum- 
stance, so inconsiderable in itself, to exert a more speedy, 
and sustaining, and even elevating influence upon per- 
sons at our time of life. Jim said it reminded him of 
home in a pleasant way ; no sadness about it. He had 
had no idea that they could make such juleps so far 
north. We occupied the same chamber — for that was 
one of the items in our plans. 

"The truth is, Phil, we are going a long way farther 
from home than we've ever been before, and we must 
stick together. I never was a man to be afraid much of 
robbers and pickpockets in this country. But when a 
fellow is about five or six thousand miles from home, 
and among outlandish people, its another sort of thing 
altogether." 

"All right; but you somewhat exaggerate the distance, 
Jim." 

" Oh, well, a few miles more or less don't make much 
difference when we are on as big figures as we are now." 



TWO GEAY TOUEISTS. Sf 

He had always been a good provider. Although wC 
had determined to take no trunks along wUh us, so as 
to avoid their incumbrance and the dela}'S thej might 
cause at railway stations, yet it was interesting to notice 
how many articles of necessity and convenience he had 
managed to get into his valise and bag. The most of 
these he brought with him from home. Yet here, he 
was frequently going out and returning with some new 
article he had purchased. At one time it was a couple 
of small phials of paregoric ; for he always got two of 
every item : one for himself, and one for me. At another, 
it would be a couple of pipes and packages of tobacco 
or cigars. About ten minutes before we were to leave 
the hotel, he ran out suddenly, and, returning with two 
additional combs, handed one to me. I was leaning on 
the office counter, talking with one of the men. 

" Why, what upon earth did you get them for, Jim ? 
We had them already." 

" Never do you mind. Do you put it in your valise. 
You're going among strange people, and you don't know 
what all you'll need. 

And while he was unlocking his valise and wedging 
in the comb, he looked up at the man, and asked : 

"Ain't that so, mister ? " 

" No doubt about that," he answered, with a smile. 
" That's a very useful article to take along. I wonder 
more people don't do it." 

We shook hands with him the more cordially, because 
he had been very civil to us, and this was to be our last 
hand-shaking on the eve of a long voyage. Jim held 
his hand a moment or two, and, with tears in his eyes, 
said: 

"Good-bye, mister. You've treated us civilly since 
1* 



6 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

we've been here, and I'm much obliged to yon. If yon 
hear of anything happening to ns while we're gone, I 
hope you'll write to my wife. You'll see there, on your 
book, where to direct your letter; and if I get back 
safe, as please God I hope to do, and you ever come to 
Georgia I want you to come right straight to my house." 

The man thanked him, and promised to write, if neces- 
sary. But he protested that it would be all right. 
Never so safe, you know, as when on a Cunard steamer. 

"Yes, yes. Oh, yes. Thank ye; good-bye; God 
bless you." 

And we got into the omnibus. 

Arrived at the wharf in Jersey City, we went imme- 
diately on board and were led to our state-room. It was 
about amidships, on the lower tier, opening upon an 
alcove of four or five feet, which, separating ours from 
another state-room, led into the lower saloon. Because 
I suggested that, being the stouter man of the two, he 
should take the lower berth, Jim at once insisted, as 
being the stronger and more active, upon going up 
stairs, as he styled taking the upper. We compromised 
by agreeing to alternate, according to circumstances. 
He at once went to work arranging things. Every arti- 
cle of mine he moved, evidently to advantage, from the 
place where I had placed it, and I was delighted to see 
how snugly we were fixed when he had finished. Then 
he took from his pocket several pieces of English silver 
money, held them in one open hand, and laying his 
finger on one after another, he asked of our steward : 

"What's that?" 

"Two shillins, sir." 

"And that?" 

" 'Arf a crown, sir." 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 7 

"A what?" 

" 'Arf a crown, sir." 

Jim hesitated. 

" You mean half, don't you ? " 

" Yes, sir ; 'arf, 'arf a crown." 

"And this big fellow?" 

"A crown, sir." 

"Then, by good rights, its worth, or ought to be 
twice as much as the little one." 

" H'oh yes, sir ; two 'arves make a 'ole one, you know, 
sir." 

" I suppose they do among you English. Well, now, 
which is the most, the two shillings or the 'arf a crown ? " 

" H'oh, the arf a crown, sir. Sixpens' the most." 

" Well, now, here's two of these 'arf a crowns to begin 
with ." 

But I put my hand on Jim's shoulder, and insisted 
that such as that must not go on, and gave the steward 
my own money. He put one of his pieces into hi3 pocket, 
protesting that I was mighty particular. Besides, 
being one of the most liberal men, and with pecuniary 
means much greater than my own, I had suspected that 
somehow he had considered himself partially responsible 
for my undertaking an expense which he knew I could 
not very well afford, and that he ought to lessen it as far 
as he could with my allowance. But he respected my 
feelings, and generally let me have my own way. 

Having arranged our state-room satisfactorily, we went 
ashore in order to purchase our deck-chairs. Jim lis- 
tened politely to what each vender had to say, and then 
from the stock of the one who seemed the most needy, 
made his selection. 

"Let me have the key to your valise," he said, when 
we were on board again. 



8 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

"What for?" 

"I've a few useful little things in my pocket that I'm 
afraid I have'nt room for in mine." 

He took my key, and returning shortly afterwards 
from the state-room, said : 

" If you ain't a traveller, I don't know one. Your 
things are upside down already. I see I'll have to look 
after you, young man." 

I found afterwards that he had put into the valise 
needles, thread, and at least a gross of buttons of 
assorted sizes. 

" I hope we have'nt forgotten anything, Phil." 

" I have no fears on that score." 

"You? No, I suppose not." 

We were much interested in the scenes that were 
around us, the busy stirring of our fellow-passengers, 
the merry chattings of some, the sad words of others. 
There were smiles and tears. At last the anchor was 
lifted, the bell rang, those who had come to witness the 
departure descended from the deck, the gangway was 
taken off, Captain Moodie, with hand uplifted, gave the 
signal, the bell rang, and we were tugged slowly away. 
"Good-bye, good-bye," was sounded many times from 
hundreds of tongues. " Good-bye ! " joined in Jim, with 
trembling, but hearty voice. And so he joined in the 
waving of hats and handkerchiefs when the voices were 
no longer audible; and though he did not know a single 
soul, I noticed that he was the last to make these mute 
farewells. 

"Phil," said he, putting his handkerchief into his 
pocket, "these northern people are friendlier than I 
thought." 



CHAPTER II, 




GOOD, brave ship is the Gallia, and Captain 
Moodie as good looking and gallant a com- 
mander as any reasonable voyager might desire. 
Jim said that it made him feel stiffer in the 
back while, looking into his ruddy face, he heard him 
say that he had crossed the Atlantic more than one 
hundred times. The drawback, however, Jim argued, 
was in the reflection that if such luck was ever to change 
it was now about the time Yet we both felt our greatest 
sense of security in reliance upon the protection of the 
Almighty, who, whatever He did, would do what was 
best and mercifullest. 

To those whose minds were not preoccupied, it was a 
fair sight, that New York Bay, as we glided smoothly 
over its surface. But our thoughts were of our homes ; 
and already these seemed becoming more and more im- 
measureably distant. 

" We are in for it now, Phil, sure enough," said Jim, 
in a tone of half humorous, half sad resignation, as the 
pilot left us and we steamed off again. " Now let's sit 
down and take a good, civil smoke." 

" No, let's wait," said I. " It's now half-past eleven, 
and lunch is at twelve." 

" You don't mean dinner ? " 

" Of course not ; dinner is at four. They have five 
meals a day here." 



10 TWO OKAY TOURISTS, 

'•The mischief you say." 

"Certainly; breakfast at eight, lunch at twelve, din- 
ner at four, tea at seven, and supper at nine." 

" Well now, that's what I call good, fair, liberal board. 
Five meals a day sounds well." 

He was fond of good eating, was Jim, and he always 
had it at home, although, as was and is the old Georgia 
country custom, he had dinner at a little past noon and 
only three meals a day, 

" You see, Phil, if we ain't always hungry at meal 
times it is a good way to pass off the time, especially 
when a fellow is away from home. For no matter how 
he feels, there is something cheerful in all sitting down 
to table and hearing the rattle of knives and forks and 
plates. Even when I don't feel like eating myself — and 
that's mighty seldom — I love to see other people eat, and 
hear 'em talk while they are eating. Yes, sir, that's 
good; I'm glad to hear that." 

His brightness served to relieve much of my own 
gloom, and when the eight bells sounded we were quite 
ready for lunch. Our seats were near the stern. Jim 
said he liked that because it gave us a better view of the 
saloon. 

" I don't know so well about that, Jim/' said I, " for 
in rough weather the pitch will be greater here." 

" Why you don't expect to get sea-sick ? I don't I 
ain't quite what I used to be in some things, but my 
stomach is as sound as a dollar." 

I said nothing more. 

"I tell you they don't spare expense on these ships. 
Why here's a regular dinner, Phil, except hot meats. 
We must'nt eat too much lunch or we may get into the 
same case for dinner as Bob Minton got in for his pie." 

-What was that?" 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 11 

" Boh said that one day when he was a littlb boy and 
his mother had company for dinner, she said to the 
children, as they were stting down to table, that the one 
who ate the most meat and greens should have the most 
pie. In his eagerness to beat his brother Sam, Bob ate 
so much meat and greens that he had no room for any 
pie. He always said, Bob did, that cf all the calcula- 
lations he ever did make, that was the foolishest. What 
made it worse was, that Sam laughed at him until he 
cried, and hit Sam with a potato^ when his mother gave 
him a whipping. Bob says he had always had a disgust 
for meat and greens just by themselves since that day. 
He said also, that though he always had been and always 
expected to be a poor man, he intended to have some 
sort of desert, as he called it, every day, even when he 
can't have anything but corn bread and molasse3." 

By this time, though the weather was fine, yet the roll 
of the sea was much more considerable than we had 
expected. 

" My gracious ! " said Tim, " don't she put up ? " 

But he ate his prunes with a relish; and smiting his 
breast proudly with his open hands, said that all was 
right there. As we went out of the saloon and through 
the passage between the upper berths, several ladies, 
looking quite pale, entered them in considerable haste, 
and we heard some suspicious sounds. 

" Poor things ! " said Jim ; " got it already. You see, 
Phil, women's stomachs ain't strong like men's anyhow. 
Then they take so little exercise that, in fact, they ain't 
fit to travel on water. Well, I'm sorry for 'em. Do you 
know, Phil, that there's two couples here?" 

" Two couples ? Couples of what ? " 

" Two couples just married," 



12 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

" How did you find out ? " 

" I knew it from their actions ; for one couple behaved 
as if they were especially anxious that nobody should 
find out that they were just married, and the other that 
they should. Well, it does seem to me that this is about 
the last place I should choose for my honeymoon, if I 
had that time to go over again. But people ain't all 
alike, I suppose. These northern people have a plenty of 
money, and they have to find various ways of spending 
it. Will you have a light ? " 

He drew a cigar, and puffed away delightedly. 

We had placed our chairs near the mizzenmast, and 
not far from the captain's room. The latter came out 
where we were, when Jim rose and offered him his chair 
and a cigar. The chair was declined, and the cigar 
accepted politely. 

" If you like that cigar, captain, we have a plenty, and 
will be glad if you will help us smoke them on the way, 
as they tell us we can't carry 'em into your country." 

"Ay, ay. I guess they won't be very particular about 
a few cigars, especially with such gentlemen as you are." 

"You think that?" 

" Oh, ay." 

"And, captain, I have some first-rate brandy in my 
valise. If you feel a little — unwell any time or — any 
wise — or disposed — " 

"Oh, thanks! but I never take anything to drink 
when on the passage." 

" The mischief you don't." 

"Never; yet I'm much obliged by your kindness. 
This is a fine cigar." 

" Glad you like it ; have another ? " 

" Thanks ; not just now." 



TWO GItAY TOURISTS. 13 

" Everything looks very pleasant here, captain." 

"Oh, ay. The June passage, you know, is always 
considered delightful. Will you be sea-sick ? " 

"Not the slightest idea of it. The June passage, 
you say, is a favorite one, is it captain ? I'm glad we 
took it then, Phil. A clever fellow that captain is," he 
continued, as the latter walked away, "and a friendly 
fellow. From his jolly red face, I thought sure he must 
take at least one good drink a day. I knew he would 
like that cigar. I can't quite afford such as these at 
home; but I mean to enjoy myself as well as I can 
while I'm in for it. Emily said she wanted me to enjoy 
myself just as much as I could, and I'm going to do it." 

His native heartiness and his facility to adapt himself 
to different circumstances led him soon to find perfect 
ease in the strange condition, and impart it to me. "We 
walked about the deck, watched the in-coming and out- 
going vessels we met and passed, or sat in our chairs 
and chatted and smoked. The seven bells struck half- 
past three. 

" I don't feel as much like eating, Phil, as I thought 
I would. I left off hungry at the lunch, so as not to 
get into Bob Minton's fix, and thought I should feel 
keen for dinner. That last cigar is the only poor one 
I've got out of the box." 

At dinner we were getting along with reasonable rel- 
ish. With a stiff westerly breeze, we were making about 
thirteen knots an hour, and the Gallia was bounding 
along in her-old-fashioned way. Once or twice, even 
while we were taking our soup, I noticed that Jim, as 
we would descend with the sweep of the stern, turned a 
little pale, and, laying down his spoon, pressed his knees 
firmly against the legs of the liable, and uttered a 



14 TWO GEAY TOURISTS. 

smothered ejaculation of " Good gracious," but looked 
at me very sympathizingly. When I said I thought I 
would go up stairs for a moment, he smiled dismally, 
but said nothing, and looked doubtfully at the meats as 
they were being brought in. I ascended the stairs, 
made for my chair, and put myself in as horizontal re- 
lation with it as possible. Eive minutes afterwards, 
hearing behind me melancholy sounds, I turned, and 
Jim was holding to a rope, leaning over the side of the 
vessel and apparently complaining to somebody beneath. 
A sense of duty prompted me to rise and go to his 
assistance; but I could get no further than the rope 
next the one he had. 

"Jim," I asked. "Are you " But my own at- 
tention was also drawn to the objects beneath. 

" Yesh. Oh, yesh. Oh, my goodness gracious ! Oh, 
hello ! What mat — Pill. You shick, too ? Oh, yesh. 
Never spect — oh goodness gra — Never felt — so — life 
before. What— do— Pill ? " 

Disjointed as were his words, they were better than I 
could have employed. So I kept silent, at least of all 
articulate expression. Jim stood as long as he could ; 
but he sank at last, and was in the attitude of a man at 
his prayers, except that his jaw was laid upon the rail 
in the few intervals of its rest. 

Whoever has suffered from sea-sickness remembers it 
without description, and whoever has not so suffered 
would find no description adequate. There is no foul 
odor, real or conceivable, that does not enter or seem to 
enter the nostrils of a sea-sick man ; no species of bitter, 
poisonous herb, of filthy, venomous reptile, that he 
does not feel to have eaten, and now to be destined to 
die therefrom. Added to these are the mental anguish, 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 15 

the sense of profoundest degradation for having deserted 
one's home, and family, and country, and being pursued 
as a deserter, and caught, and punished in the most 
humiliating and disgusting of all ways, the gradual 
exhaustion of life by body-and-soul sickness, and after- 
wards thrown out, worthless even for such a purpose, to 
the monsters of the deep. In sleep — for it is wonderful 
how much a man can sleep in such a time, his thoughts 
and feelings get no relief. Perhaps they are then more 
horrible, for then the imagination is wholly unrestrained 
by reason, and these horrible things seem real. 

My friend suffered longer than I did, and, I think, 
more grievously. By morning I could creep upon the 
deck, while he could not be brought up until near 
sunset, and then had to be laid flat upon his back. He 
had been so ill that he was not aware how much I had 
suffered, and he afterwards made me promise not to tell 
all he had said to me in the messages which he sent to 
his wife. Not that his breast was not as clean of wrong- 
doing as that of any husband and father in this or any 
other country. But he had so magnified his little infir- 
mities, and especially the great crime of going off, and 
as it were, running away from his family, that were I to 
repeat, except to them, the terms which he repeatedly 
employed, he might, and justly, be hurt. Besides, such 
had been my own feelings, that, had he been in condition 
to listen and sympathize, I doubtless would not have 
varied far in the language I had employed with him. 

But the getting well again. That was simply glorious. 
I desire to see, not often, a more serene and pleasant 
sight than when I would look at Jim Eawls two days 
afterwardr. as he leaned far back in his chair, his appe- 
tite promising more and more assuringly to come back, 



16 TWO GEAY TOURISTS. 

and himself, while with sweet resignation, calmly saying 
he had no stomach at all — none whatever, yet slowly chew- 
ing delicate little morsels, and helping them down with 
sips of iced champagne. While he would divide most 
fairly, yet in the very last pouring he would linger in 
holding the bottle's mouth down over his goblet, and, 
imperceptibly to himself, give it a shake, and even a 
little squeeze, for the last and a possibly one drop more. 
That man will tell you to-day, if you were at his house 
in Georgia, that the most speedy, effectual and pleasant 
remedy for sea-sickness is champagne wine. It was, 
indeed, more delightful to notice in him than to feel 
within myself the relish of the tranquil happiness of 
convalescence. How kindly he inquired of others as to 
their sufferings ! How fond he was to answer them at 
length. The sympathy he felt was rendered to him 
abundantly, as he would prolong the accounts he gave 
of his sufferings, innocently exaggerate them, and be 
reluctant to admit how fast he was getting well again. 
He had already made many acquaintances, and was on 
familiar terms with them. At lunch hour, on the third' 
day out, when he had finished with his champagne and 
crackers, while half a dozen gentlemen were around him, 
he thus let himself out : 

"Yes, gentlemen, I've been through what I never 
expected for this world, and even now I wonder that I 
ever got through and came out a live man and in my 
senses. My opinion on the subject of sea-sickness is, 
that it ain't a question of stomach. My stomach is as 
sound as anybody's. It's a — well, you may call it a sort of 
a — epidemic on some people — or, like mumps or measles, 
which everybody has to have one time, provided if he 
goes where the cussed things are. Oh, you northern 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 17 

people, you may laugh, but it's so. You all are used 
to such things. You live close to the water anyhow, 
and you get used to the smelling of it and traveling and 
meandering about over it. The case is very different 
with us down in Georgia, where the water, what there 
is of it, is fresh, and everybody has a plenty of fresh air. 
It ain't a question of stomach. My stomach's as sound 
as a roach." 

"But we thought you had been very sick at the 
stomach." 

"Of course I have; but I tell you it came on like 
mumps or the measels, and, just like them, the older a 
fellow gets the worse they get Mm. Sick at the stomach ? 
Yes, indeed ! Gentlemen, my opinion is, that since the 
creation of the world no ???£m-person ever had such a 
sick stomach. I don't say women, for I know that's the 
nature of some women ; but if any poor woman ever had 
such a stomach as I had for twenty-four hours, I pity her. 
Look here ; would you like to know some, just only a 
few things, I conceited that I had in my stomach ? " 

Of course they would, and I never heard more hearty 
responses as, in the intervals of their laughter, he 
recounted : 

" Toad frogs ! " 

"Tadpoles!" 

"Peavines!" 

" Old rotten fodder-blades ! " 

" Brass knobs ! The reason I knew they were brass 
was, I smelt 'em ! " 

" Watermelon rinds ! " 

" Grub-worms ! " 

"Dish-water!" 

" Scaly-bark lizards ! " 

2* 



18 TWO GEAY TOURISTS. 

" Vinegar a thousand years old ! " 

" Stumps of mean cigars ! " 

" Old roosters, that died of the cholera ! " 

"And, what you northern people know mighty little 
about, little niggers, all greased up with pot liquor ! " 

How they did roar ! A crowd of twenty or thirty gen- 
tlemen by this time had gathered around him, and 
several ladies, who were standing a little way off, actually 
cried with laughter. 

"These,'' he wound up, "and many more besides, too 
tedious to mention, seemed to be in me and tangled and 
squirming among one another, not only in my stomach, 
but in my very brains. Why, gentlemen, it seemed to 
me that an old brass hoop was around my head, fastened 
on with a glue of some sort made out of every old, mean 
liquor in the world, that was everlastingly a melting 
and running down on my face, and the more it melted 
the tighter the hoop held on. The fact is, my mind 
was worse off than my stomach. If I ever stole any- 
thing from anybody I don't remember it, except it might 
be a few apples or a watermelon or two when I was a 
boy just for fun and mischief; but I tell you — no, I 
can't talk about my mind. But I hope as long as I live 
(and I don't think I shaV) that I'll ever feel in my mind 
like I did then. My old friend here says he was about 
as bad off as I was, but I've no idea of any such thing. 
If he had been, he would'nt be a live man now, certain 
sure. Yes, gentlemen, I've been very bad off, and I'm 
far from being a well man yet." 

He drew a long breath that was meant to be mournful, 
but it deceived nobody. 

Having recovered entirely from sea-sickness, we came 
to thoroughly enjoy our new experience. The sight 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 19 

of the good which the travel and even the sea-sickness 
were imparting, made us glad that we had made the 
voyage. Jim, especially, with his old heart fresh as 
ever, relished fully the life peculiar to a sea voyage — 
watching the seamen at their work, and especially at 
their leisure, studying the ropes and machinery, playing 
at shuffle-board, sitting at those five meals in which he 
kept his vow to make up for lost time, talking with the 
passengers, and listening to them talking about the vari- 
ous sections in which they resided and their avocations. 

One night, however, he became considerably disturbed. 
He was a sound sleeper always, and by this time was 
able to rest as well as if he had been home. Late in this 
particular night, while I happened to be awake and he 
was snoring well, the whistle suddenly sounded. It 
awakened him, and I heard him start up. In another 
minute the sound was repeated, when he immediately 
sprang from the berth, and going to the lounge put his 
eyes to the glass over the port-hole. 

"Phil," said he. 

"Hello." 

"Sleep?" 

"No." 

"Did you hear that?" 

"Yes." 

"What do suppose is the matter?" 

" We are in the fog." 

"The fog?" 

' Certainly, the fog." 

"Are you awake, Phil ? " 

-I am." 

"Well, what do you mean by being in the fog?" 

" I mean what I say. We are on the Banks." 



20 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

"What banks?" 

" The Banks of Newfoundland. I heard the Captain 
say to-day that we would get on them to-night, and he 
thought the fog might be thicker than common." 

" But what are they blowing the whistle for ? " 

" In order to avoid collision with other ships." 

" Why don't they hold up till morning ? " 

" They could'nt see any further then than they can 
now." 

"What?" 

"Fact." 

" Well, why don't they go slower, then ? " 

" Because self-preservation is the first law of nature." 

" Phil, I do believe you are asleep. Wake up." 

" I am awake." 

" What's that you said just now ? " 

" That self-preservation was the first law of nature. 
If we go slowly, and another ship pitches into us, we 
are split in two. If she comes slowly, and we pitch 
into her, she goes up — or rather down." 

" I do believe that fellow is asleep." 

The whistle kept sounding at regular intervals. 

"Phil." 

"Hello, Jim." 

" Is that so ? In point of fact ? " 

" Certainly ; and the whistle blows in order to warn 
any vessel that may be in hearing to get off the track." 

" But suppose it was to whistle, too, and so go to 
warning us f " 

" Why, then, we would turn one way and she another, 
and so we would pass." 

"But suppose it was a sailing vessel, and had no 
whistle." 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 21 

" It would blow its fog-horn." 

"Its what?" 

"Its fog-horn." 

" Good gracious me ! The idea of a fellow going about 
in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean such a night as 
this blowing a horn. Do you think there's much 
danger ? " 

" Oh, no. Collisions very seldom occur. The chances 
are thousands to one against." 

" Do you suppose the captain is up ? " 

" No doubt of that ; he is on the bridge." 

" How do you know ? " 

"Because that's a rule of the service." 

"A good rule." 

He returned to his berth. Shortly afterwards, he 
called : 

"Phil." 

"Hello?" 

" How big is a fog-horn ? How far do you suppose a 
fellow could hear one of 'em ? " 

" I don't know ; but, I suppose, about a mile." 

"A fog-horn!" he muttered, as he turned with his 
face to the wall, " I've heard of many kind of a horn, 
but never before now have I heard of a fog-horn." 

Shortly afterwards he called again : 

"Phil." 

"Yes, Jim." 

" Why don't you go to sleep ? " 

" That whistle and you together won't let me. If one 
of you would stop, I think I could." 

He said not another word, and was soon asleep. 

We were both surprised that so few ships were visible 
during the passage, as well as the inhabitants of the 



2'1 TWO OKAY TOURISTS. 

sea. Jim was particularly disappointed in the matter 
of the last. He had been, he said, always desirous of 
seeing a whale, and he suggested that owing to the 
quantities that had been taken heretofore the breed 
probably was thinning out. Many of the passengers 
left us at Queenstown, among them the two young mar- 
ried couples. 

"A poor time they've had of it, I think, Phil." 

"How so?" 

"Why one of the fellows' wife has been sick nearly 
half the way, and the other woman's husband has been 
in the same fix, and when they got up, the other two 
got down. It was like the fox, and the goose, and the 
corn, all trying to cross over the river. One of the 
couples don't seem to be well matched anyhow. That's 
a beautiful girl with the yellow hair. That big-jawed 
fellow is her husband. He is a rich pork merchant 
from Ohio. Those jaws look as if they got to be so big 
from calling hogs." 

He had invited at least half the passengers to come to 
see him in Georgia. Just before the arrival at Liver- 
pool, he said to Captain Moodie : 

" Well, captain, God bless you. You've done your duty 
certain this trip. If you ever come to Georgia, captain, 
and come to my house, if I don't treat you like a gen- 
tleman, you may tie me, bring me back to the old Gallia, 
and drop me in the biggest hole in the Atlantic Ocean." 

"Any cigars or tobacco, sir?" asked the officer of 
customs. 

" No, sir," said Jim, " I never use tobacco except for 
smoking, and I gave my last cigar five minutes ago to 
the second mate. I should not wish, sir " 

" Pass on gentlemen, please." 



CHAPTER III, 




N Liverpool : at the Adelphi Hotel. Looking 
out, and seeing, and hearing men, women, 
horses and wagons. Such odd-looking wagons, 
too, and those funny-looking, round-bellied, 
snug, little Welsh ponies, that seemed to know no other 
gait than a trot. Not to be rocking about as we had 
been for ten days. To see, for the first time, women 
keeping a hotel, and good-looking, smart, educated 
women at that. Those great big beds, so curiously can- 
opied, with as much covering on them as if instead of 
June it had been November. The various windings we 
had to take in order to get to our chambers. To be 
waited on by servants in livery. "When a pretty boy 
with violet colored livery and brass buttons brought to 
me the first things I ordered, I had feelings approaching 
the aristocratic. The service was trifling, and I hesi- 
tated whether I would offer him a sixpence; but he 
received it with such cordiality that I was glad I did it. 

It was three o'clock, and, feeling like eating, we made 
known our wants, and were invited to the coffee-room. 

" The coffee-room ? " said Jim. 

"Yes, sir." 

"Why, my dear friend, we want our dinner. We 
don't want any coffee this time of day." 

The boy smiled, and led us across the hall, and we 
entered the large room which, to his deligbt, Jim found 

(23) 



24 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

to contain or to have the means of getting whatever the 
hungriest and the daintiest might desire. A very portly 
and elegantly-dressed man with steel-pen coat and white 
vest and cravat met us at the door, and directed a waiter 
to conduct us to a table. 

" That's the proprietor," whispered Jim. " Don't he 
look well fed ? And so they call a dining-room a coffee- 
room over here. Likewise, they call a horse-car a tram- 
way. We've got a heap to learn in the language, I see, 
my friend. They've changed it a good deal since our 
folks left this country." 

Our sojourn in Liverpool was brief. My own pur- 
suits and studies had always been of such kind that I 
felt comparatively little interest in so new a city as Liv- 
erpool, and I am almost ashamed to say that I saw little 
more of the celebrated docks than what I could notice 
from the ship as they lay for miles and miles on the 
Mersey. But Jim had said that he would rather see 
those docks than anything in England. He always had 
had a turn for mechanics. His own mill-dam, of which 
he was very proud, had been constructed under his im- 
mediate supervision. While he was examining the 
docks, I remained at the hotel, and with the map I had 
purchased studied our routes. Before this, I had become 
convinced that the pleasure and the benefits of each in 
the other's companionship, instead of being impaired by 
the diversity of our tastes and dispositions, were enhanced. 
While Jim derived pleasure from studying the achieve- 
ments of modern enterprise, and I was much more fond 
than he in looking upon the relics of olden times, yet 
this very difference served as a foil to divert the course 
of each sometimes, when it might have led to observation 
of things specially interesting to himself only, and at 
other times it gave occasion to pleasant raillery. 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 25 

On the second day after onr arrival, when Jim had 
returned from his visit to the docks, full of admiration 
for them and for the prodigious commerce of the city, I 
listened to his ardent accounts of them with an interest 
which I certainly had not felt in reading, and should have 
not felt in personally inspecting them. I made a mistake, 
however, when I began to admit that I did not at first 
understand his eager and minute descriptions, for the 
admission led him to make them yet more so, and I had 
at last to assume an intelligence which I certainly did 
not have, and, according as he was most enthusiastic in 
his descriptions, I exhibited satisfactory attention. I 
frankly admit now that I know little about the great 
Liverpool docks; yet what I do no know of them I owe 
to Jim Kawls 

"Why, sir," said he, among many other things, "I 
got an idea to-day for letting the water into my mill- 
race and stopping it out that I would'nt grudge the 
whole cost of this trip for. It's so perfectly simple that 
I wonder it never occurred to me before." 

And then he took my umbrella, both of our hats, and 
some books that lay on the table in the smoking-room, 
and he went on at such a rate that I had to say that it 
was very simple and — indeed — decidedly first-rate. 

" You see how it is, Phil, don't you ? " 

" I think — I think I do. Let me see. The umbrella 
is — the — oh — the — " 

" The mill-race, of course." 

"I thought so, because — it's the longest. Yes, yes, 
that's the race. And now, let me see again. On reflec- 
tion, I don't exactly remember whether it was your hat 
or my hat that was the, ah — the — " 

« The gate, man, the gate." 



26 T W GRA Y TOUEISTS. 

" Oh ! Gate ! Certainly ; what was I thinking about ? 
I understand now ; the gate." 

44 The two gates." 

i: Certainly; two gates. Of course, they've got to be 
two gates, I should suppose." 

" Of course ; else what in the dickence would come of 
all the water ? " 

Thus we went on for some time. 

" Well, upon my word, Jim, I'm glad you went to 
these docks. They are more interesting than I had any 
notion of their being. And then, the valuable hints you 
got from them." 

I looked intently at the umbrella and the other arti- 
cles, and tried to understand the hydraulic principles 
they were meant to represent. 

"Yes, yes, sir," I said, as soon as I could; "this 
thing will be of service to you, Jim. I have no doubt. 
I'm glad you went." 

« Why, sir, I would'nt take five hundred dollars for it." 

Late in the afternoon we took a long walk out on 
Prince's Eoad, intending to visit the public park, and 
were pleased to find that a city so mainly devoted to 
commerce exhibited so many evidences of taste. Having 
reached what we supposed was the park, we were sur- 
prised to find the gates leading into it locked. Standing 
at one of these, we were looking over upon the exquisite 
landscape, when an elderly gentleman, who had been 
sitting upon a rustic seat beneath a shade tree overhang- 
ing the walk, rose, approached us, took out of his pocket 
a key, and politely asked if we would enter. We accepted 
promptly, remarking that, supposing the park was open 
to the public, we had not provided ourselves with permits. 

"Oh! the public park," he answered, smiling, "is 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 27 

open to the public. That is further on. This park is 
private, belonging to those of us who reside for some 
distance along on this side of the street. I shall be 
pleased to show you this, however, if you wish. I see 
you are Americans." 

"Ah?" we exclaimed, both well pleased. 

" Oh, yes. We recognize Americans at once." 

Jim evidently straightened himself yet more, but said 
nothing. We wandered for half an hour amid one of 
the loveliest landscapes I had ever beheld. Some young 
persons of both sexes were rowing on a lake. Jim lin- 
gered several moments looking silently at them, while 
our guide and myself were slowly walking and discuss- 
ing the various species of vegetation. We had, at length, 
to call him away. I knew where his thoughts had been. 
He sighed gently but not painfully, as he came up briskly. 

It began to grow late, and having gone considerably 
from the entrance, we proposed returning. The gentle- 
man said he would lead us to a place of exit nearer 
home. Winding about through other and continually 
varying scenery, we came suddenly to the rear of a fine 
mansion. We looked at him in astonishment. 

" This is my residence, gentlemen. If you will do me 
the honor to walk in, I will let you out this way." 

We entered, through a veranda, a large dining-hall. 

" But here," said our host, *' you must rest for a few 
moments. You've had something of a walk." 

While we were admiring the pictures on the walls ; 
and the stuffed birds of game in a large glass case on a 
table in one corner, a servant brought in a bottle each 
of sherry and port. Pledging in a glass apiece, we 
parted from him at his front door, expressing his satis- 
faction for having met us. 



28 TWO GEAY TOUKISTS. 

" Upon my word," said Jim, " a politer or a friendlier 
old fellow I should seldom wish to see. Sensible, too. 
That man knows whom to ask into his house, no matter 
if they are strangers. Rich folks up along here, Phil, 
to be able to haye private parks in a town of five or six 
hundred thousand inhabitants. You may be sure of 
that; and if you had seen those docks and that Exchange 
you would'nt be surprised- Well, I don't mind a fellow 
getting rich and enjoying his money if it don't make a 
fool of him, and keep him from being civil." . 

The next morning, as we were preparing to depart for 
Chester, Jim, who, it was arranged between us, should 
keep the accounts, went to the office and called for our 
bill. One of the ladies answered, that she would make 
it out and send it to the smoking-room. He looked at 
her somewhat surprised, but politely retired. 

" What can she mean by making out our bill ? I 
never paid a tavern bill in that way. Can't they just 
say what it is at once ? We've been here exactly two 



" They don't charge by the day over here, Jim." 

" How do they charge ? " 

Just then a porter brought in the bill. Jim put on 
his spectacles, looked at it awhile intently, frowned, 
turned it upside down, looked at it that way, turned it 
back, took off his spectacles, and handed the paper to me. 

"I can't read half of it, and don't understand one 
word of what I can make out. As nigh as I can come 
at it, it's a regular old-fashioned sum in Daboll's Arith- 
metic. What in the world these things are that you've 
been getting, I can't tell. This English handwriting 
and these figures are too much for me." 

This he said in very low tones, so as. not to be over- 



TWO GEAY TOUKISTS. 29 

heard by the porter, who had retired as far as the door and 
was waiting to be called. I took the paper and showed 
how the items had been set down separately for each 
day, added, carried from the first to the second, and 
footed. 

" I see, I see. It is a regular old sum in compound 
addition. What does it foot up? Oh, that's reason- 
able. But what's that word ? " 

"Apartments." 

"Apartments ? What — does she mean ; rooms ? " 

" Certainly." 

" Why, we did'nt have but one." 

" Yes, but you see the charge is right." 

" I see, I see. I suppose it's just a general way of 
calling them rooms. But what word is that ? " 

"Attendance." 

" Does that mean the waiters ? " 

u I suppose so." 

" Certainly, that's it ; but I wonder if they suppose any- 
body who considers himself a gentleman would be will- 
ing to go off without giving the waiters something ? I 
never got that poor and that mean yet. I expect they've 
had a heap of mean people to stop here, and it has made 
'em put this item in their bills. I mean to give these 
fellows something extra, for they've been very attentive." 

He took the bill to the office himself, apologized for 
having kept it so long, said it was very reasonable, paid 
it, and bowed himself away. He then said that he was 
going to the dining-room to hand James a couple of 
shillings and take leave of the proprietor. The latter 
he met at the door. 

"I beg pardon, sir; but I was looking for the waiter. 
I wanted to hand him a couple — " 

3* 



30 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

" Hi am the waiter, sir." 

" You ! Ain't you the proprietor ? " 

" H'oh no, sir. Hi am Daniel, the 'ead waiter." 

" Gracious fathers ! I thought — " 

He had a half crown piece in his hand. He looked 
at it for a moment in confusion, thrust it back into his 
pocket, and taking out several pieces of various sizes 
put them into Daniel's hand and rushed away. It was 
not until we had gotten into the cars at Lime Street 
Station that he said : 

" Phil, did you know that old fellow in the coffee- 
room was a waiter ? " 

"No. You said he was the proprietor. I thought 
you knew. Yon are so ready to find out everything." 

"I never asked a soul about him. I took it for 
granted that he was the proprietor ; but he's the head- 
waiter. Well, sir, this is an aristocratic country, to have 
such as him for waiters. When he told me he was the 
waiter, I could' nt get so far down from my opinion of 
him as to give him half a crown, so I gave him about all 
the change I had in my pocket and broke off as soon as 
I could." 

As it was my province to select the places to be visited 
and Jim's to arrange the routes and the hours of depart- 
ure, he soon made himself familiar with Hradshaw's 
Kailway Guide, a feat I think I never could have accom- 
plished. The shortest route to Chester was by ferry- 
boat to Birkenhead, and thence by rail. But the hours 
that way not suiting, we went by the longer route of the 
Great North Western and the Grand Junction, crossing 
the Mersey about twenty miles from Liverpool. 

"I should like, if we had time," said Jim, looking out 
of the window as we sped along by the margin of the 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 31 

Bridgewater canal, "to travel on that awhile and see 
how they manage those locks." 

"I don't see where the water comes from to fill that 
canal," I said. 

"Why, man, from the air and the ground. This is 
the wettest country in the world, you know. I've read 
about this country through here often. Look what 
crops and what cows. You've ate, my friend, many a 
piece of cheese that came from here." 

In less than an hour we were at Chester and quartered 
at the Grrosvenor House. 

"Another pretty girl, Phil," he whispered, as we ap- 
proached the office. "Great country this for women." 

As we stood upon the vestibule of the hotel and looked 
out, Jim said : 

" Now what could you ever suppose put it into the 
head of people to build such a town as this ? This is 
what they call the Eows. Why look, will you ? The 
street belongs to the wagons and the horses, and are 
away down below ; and the people have to walk on that 
piazza above." 

It was indeed a strange sight as we wandered along 
the piazzas, far above the street, the dwellings below us 
and* the stores to our left, with an occasional booth to 
our right boarded in and jutting over the vehicles below. 

"I call this doing business up-stairs. And then look 
down that cross street yonder. See how the houses lap 
over on both sides as they go up. Upon my word, it 
don't seem to be more than six feet from some of the 
windows in the upper stories on one side of the street 
to those on the other. The town is about three times as 
big at the top as at the bottom. I wonder it don't fall 
in. A little more and that street would be a tunnel. 



32 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

If the houses did'nt look so old, I should guess that 
that's what they intended to make of it after a while. 
But ain't they old ? " 

After dinner we made the full circuit of the walls 
within which the town is enclosed. 

"And the old king stood here in this window, did 
he ? " said Jim, when we had mounted into Charles the 
First's Tower, "xind over yonder is Rowton Moor. 
Oh, these kings, these kings ! They have to have their 
times of trouble like the rest of us. How he must have 
felt when he stood in this window and saw his army 
defeated. Let's go on." 

We went on by the race-turf, lingering to look upon 
the lovely view towards the north and west. Further 
on was the bridge over the Dee with that magnificent 
arch of two hundred feet, the largest in the kingdom. 

" Now that looks sensible," said Jim, " about the first 
thing of the kind I've seen in this old burg. Why they 
don't pull down this old wall, and let the town grow 
some, if it can, is what I don't understand. They might 
give it a chance, anyway. No wonder the Dee is drying 
up. I should think such a town as this would dry up 
any river after awhile. And that's the field where they 
caught the other king, eh?" (pointing to a hill-side 
across the Dee), " and along here old Edward was rowed 
by the seven princes up the river to that old St. John's 
Church on the hill yonder ? This place seems to have 
been quite considerable with those old kings, and some 
of them had hard times like other folks. Yes, sir. 

" Princes, this clay must be your bed, 
In spite of all your towers." 

"They are not buried here, Jim." 

' i suppose not. Still — somehow, I thought of that 



TWO GKAY TOUEISTS. 33 

old song ever since we were in King Charles' Tower, 
but it did'nt seem exactly to fit in there because it's no 
great shakes of a town, and old Charles was'nt in much 
of a bragging mood, I take it. From the way you look, 
it don't seem to you to come in much better here. Well, 
you know, Phil, poetry ain't my strong point." 

" When will this circuit end ? " said I, nearly broken 
down after more than an hour's walk. " Have you any 
idea how far we are from onr hotel ? " 

" Oh, an immense distance," he answered, with mock 
seriousness. "This is a big place, Phil, you know, 
counting every way, up and^0g^a^}e^p?^^/ , 

« Why it has only abo^^mikt)^ndu^md^)e^p^dn it, 
inside and out." If ^ 

"And they inside 1» AlPBn 2& <#8<9$ ^wter, 

too, eh ? Yes, but you^e^t ivwd$,c$G&- may vs&erfPsay, 

inside and out. I take ifm^l^SntownrOfrC^fe^r has 

--<^> / ^U of i^yji^^ m 
about as many insides and outsMes^aTJsfe^fiiahy insides 

that ought to be outsides, as any that can be found. 

I'm glad I've seen Chester one time. 1 ' 

We had not gone ten steps further when Jim stopped 
at one of the numerous nights of steps that led down 
from the walls, 

"Are you really tired, Phil ? " 

" I am, indeed." 

" Oh, you old fellows ; you can't stand anything." 

" I'm just three weeks older than you are." 

" Yes, but three weeks make a difference. Well, do 
you know where you are? Do you know what house 
that's the top of?" 

" I certainly do not." 

" I suppose not. Twas'nt for me you'd never get 
down from these walls, but keep meandering round and 



34 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

round 'em. Well, that's the Grosvenor, and these are 
the very steps we came up when we started." 

"You don't tell me so." 

" I do. Can't you think now of a bit of poetry, or a 
piece of a hymn that would suit your lost condition? 
What is that about 

" Weary sinner, lost and wounded ? " 

" Let's get down and rest a while first." 

The next morning, we considered whether or not we 
would go out to Eaton Hall, the seat of the Marquis of 
Westminster. Our time was so limited, we rather chose 
to visit the Cathedral. We entered this most imposing 
old structure just as morning prayers were over. One 
of the vergers very kindly led us around, pointing out 
and explaining many things; which, however much we 
may read of them, we must see in order to fully compre- 
hend and appreciate; the varying architecture of the 
ages, and the relations of the various parts of such a 
structure to one another. Jim was especially impressed 
by the cloisters of the monks of former times, and the 
great hall in which they used to dine in common. 

" What upon earth is that thing up there ? " he asked 
of the verger, pointing upward to where, high on the 
wall, a very small sort of pulpit of stone was fastened, 
to which several steps of the same material led from the 
floor. 

'•That," answered the verger, smiling, "is the pulpit 
from which, when the monks were at dinner, one of 
their number was accustomed to read aloud sermons 
and homilies." 

'* Sermons and what ? " 

•• Homilies." 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 35 

'■You mean preaching? ' 

"Not exactly that, but — the next thing to it, I 
suppose." 

Jim laughed aloud, but instantly checking himself, 
said: 

" I beg your pardon, sir, for laughing in your church ; 
but it struck me all of a sudden the idea of a set of 
preachers sitting down to their dinner and having to 
listen to another one a preaching to 'em. Do you sup- 
pose that fel — , that gentleman I mean, had his dinner 
first?" 

"Ah, I can't say that, sir, but probably not." 

"Well, well, this town of yours has seen times, in 
its — time, if I might use such an expression. I see you 
are all mending up the old church ? " 

'• Oh, yes ; the Dean is very much interested in renew- 
ing the Cathedral " 

"Well, I wish him good luck; but I should say he 
had a job on his hands." 

"And now, gentlemen," said the verger, " I shall be 
glad, if you are to remain in Chester, to show you, at 
another time, other interesting things about the Cathe- 
dral and the Priory. But, with your leave, I will bid 
you good morning for the present, as I have not yet 
breakfasted." 

"Why, bless me!" answered Jim, "have'nt you been 
to breakfast?" 

" No, indeed ; we never breakfast until after morning 
prayers." 

" I beg your pardon a thousand times, sir, for keeping' 
you away from your breakfast. We leave the town in a 
couple of hours. We are very much obliged to you, 
and we would'nt have thought of trespassing on your 
time " 



36 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

" Don't mention such a thing, gentlemen/' 

" Good gracious ! " said Jim, after we had left the 
grounds, " did nt you suppose he had had his breakfast ? 
Why, it's half past eight o'clock, and the sun has been 
up nigh on to five hours." 

" They don't rise here as you do in Georgia." 

"I see they don't. Well, I suppose their business 
here goes on about as well, what there is of it, as if they 
did get up in decent time. This is a slow-going, but an 
economical town, Phil." 

" How economical ? " 

" Why, don't you see the object of putting that pulpit 
on the wall in the dining-room of that church ? And 
have preaching going on while they were at dinner ? " 

" I think I do. It was to remind the religious who 
were eating of the source from which all blessings 
come, and lift their thoughts to contemplate the feasts 
of the soul as superior to those of the flesh." 

" No, sir ; not a bit of it. It was to spoil their appe- 
tites, and make 'em eat as little as possible, and save 
expenses, and maybe to keep 'em from complaining of 
their victuals. That's the only effect that such a thing 
would have on me, or any other reasonable and healthy 
man. About two weeks' preaching to me at dinner 
would make me as thin as a down stream shad. But, 
do you know, Phil, I've been thinking how this head 
preacher here, what did he call him? Dean? might 
economize in fixing up that immense old establishment ? 
If I was in his place, I should get my material from this 
old wall. It's of no manner of use for anything else in 
this world than for building material. The idea of 
keeping it here just because it has been here always, is 
nonsense. It ought to be put to some earthly use besides 



TWO GEAY TOUKISTS. 37 

for strangers to get the rheumatism in walking oyer it. 
For the people here don't seem to use it in that way 
themselves. We've walked the whole round, and I should 
say it was pushing on to two miles, and we didn't meet 
the first native man, woman, or child. Maybe they keep 
it just to toll people here ; for I don't see much business 
here of any kind. If this is so, I should say that it was 
about as curious and unsatisfactory kind of merchandiz- 
ing as I would seldom wish to see. But then it can't 
wear out, not even like wax figures, which it certainly 
makes me think of. Well, I'm glad I've seen old Chester 
one time ; and now I'm ready to leave, and go where a 
body can get some fresh air." 




CHAPTER IV. 




N the carriage, sir ; in the carriage," urged the 
railway porter to Jim at the station, as he was 
lingering on the platform taking a last look 
at the old town. 

" It's well they call it a carriage," said Jim, when we 
were seated, and the train moved off, si for it's no rail- 
road car. I'm astonished, Phil, that these English 
people should be so far behind the times as to have 
carriages instead of cars on their railroads. No chance 
to walk, nor not even to stretch your legs, without put- 
ting them between other people's. No water to drink, 
whether you are on a slow train or a fast one." 

'• I don't see what the speed of the train can have to 
do with the question of water." 

" That's just what I say; it has'nt got anything to do 
with it; and the reason is, the people over here don't 
keep any water to drink, and don't drink it themselves ; 
otherwise, a fellow might get a drink at a station. No, 
sir ; no water on the cars, and none on the route. But, 
Phil, there's an advantage in taking a smoking-car : for 
they don't use the weed much over here, and the smoking 
car is seldom full." 

The morning was fine, and it was pleasing that pros- 
pect of well cultivated fields bounded on onr right by 
the Ehuabon and other hills in Wales. Further on, 

(38) 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 39 

the meadow-hm ds of Shropshire, on the Severn, in their 
unbroken green, seemed well worth a journey through 
them, even if they had not been full of historic interest. 
The low, dense hawthorn hedges, the clumps of shade 
trees in every field for the laborers and the cattle to rest 
beneath in the noontide heat, the winding rivulets with 
shaded banks along which led narrow paths for the 
country folk, the fat kine and the full dairies, — looking 
upon all these, we had continual delight. As we ran 
into Shrewsbury, I expressed regret that our brief time 
would not allow us to linger here for at least a day. 

" It looks a little livelier than Chester, and for that 
reason would certainly suit me better. It isn't as big, I 
should say, but it has'nt any wall, and can grow." 

" It did have one for a part of the circuit, and would 
have had it all, but that the Severn, you see, nearly sur- 
rounds it. There was a wall across the neck of the 
peninsula, but it seems to have all gone." 

" There's a part of an old something just above this 
station on that hill." 

"That is the remains of the castle which was built 
by Roger de Montgomery, created Earl of Shrewsbury 
by William the Conqueror. This town and Chester, 
being on the frontier, had to be strongly fortified against 
the Welsh. Shrewsbury especially was so important 
that several of the early kings spent much of their time 
and held parliaments here. In that old castle up there 
were born two of the sons of Edward IV, the oldest of 
whom was one of those afterwards murdered by Richard 
III in the Tower. Shrewsbury was the great stronghold 
of the Yorks in the wars of the Roses. See yonder old 
abbey with the tower. You don't forget Falstaffe ? " 

"Who? Old Jack? Of course not. Is this my 
same old Shrewsbury ? " 



40 TWO GEAY TOtJKISTS. 

" The same ; and in that tower was the clock which 
timed Sir John's fight in the field over yonder to the 
left." 

In five minutes we were off again. Jim strained his 
eyes, as long as it was visible, to the old abbey, then 
turned them in the direction of Shrewsbury Field. 

" Well, well, many's the time I've read that play of 
Shakspeare about old Jack, and Douglass, and Glen- 
dower, and Hotspur, without ever expecting to be this 
near Shrewsbury Field. That same clock, eh! Well, 
it ticked to a good, long, old fight. Ah! that was a 
grand old fellow. It was a mean thing in the prince to 
throw him off after all they had seen and done together. 
Of course, he must stop all such larks when his father 
died and he got to be king ; but he might have made 
some provision for the poor old fellow. I always feel a 
little like crying when I read old Mrs. Quickly's account 
of how he died: because the king 'killed his heart.' 
Poor Jack ! He put all his money on one card, and 
that's always a mistake. But, see here, Phil, if I remem- 
ber right, it was somewhere along here that the young 
King Charles, while running from old Cromwell, hid in 
the oak. What's the name — Bos — something ? " 

" Boscobel Manor-House. Here it is on the map. It 
is only about five or six miles from the town of Sheffnall, 
the next station. We can't be further than three or 
four miles from the Royal Oak." 

" They had him up a tree there, did'nt they ? " 

" They did, indeed ; that was a narrow escape." 

" I expect he felt about as easy as his father did in 
that old town at Chester. Oh, these kings! What 
won't they go through to gain and to hold on to their 

What is won- 



TWO GRAY. TOURISTS. 41 

derful to me is that the people will risk more and suffer 
more for the same than the kings themselves. I don't 
mean the big' men ; for they always expect something in 
the way of reward; but the people, the poor people 
that expect nothing, and get nothing, no matter how it 
goes : how such as these can leave their wives and chil- 
dren, and little pieces of land, and follow these kings, 
who care no more for them, as a general thing, than so 
many mules or hogs, and travel over mud, and dust, and 
snow, and rain, to get killed, or come home broken 
down in health and poorer than ever, this is what I 
don't understand." 

'•That's a matter, Jim, that used to perplex me," 
said I, "very much. I have thought over it many 
times, and I think I am getting to understand it better. 
There are several reasons why even the poorest are will- 
ing to undergo such dangers for kings. ' In the first 
place, pity is a thing which, my reading and observa- 
tions have led me to believe, tends upwards instead of 
downwards. Misfortunes are the common lot of the 
poor. Born in low conditions, they, for the most part, 
remain in them throughout their lives. Calamities 
among them are too small reductions from their habitual 
states to excite very much commiseration either among 
their superiors or their equals. But when a very great 
man, and especially a prosperous king, comes to grief, 
the descent seems so immense, that the lower and hum- 
bler a man is, the greater his awe and his pity. They 
have been used to look up to the great as the favorites 
of heaven; and when these fall, they have a sort of 
undefined dread as if such vast ruin, unless reversed, 
must overwhelm all mankind. It is pleasing, besides, 
to pity such unforeseen and such great suffering, because 

4* 



42 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

thus the lowly feci some exaltation of themselves in 
thus sympathizing with, and, in some sort, rising into 
the society of the powerful. Look at the tragedies that 
have excited so many tears among the poor. To say 
nothing of the older, take those of Shakspeare that you 
like so much. They don't recite the misfortunes of com- 
mon people, but of the mighty — King Lear, and Hamlet 
and such men. If they were common men, even you, 
Jim, would get tired of reading them, because, with all 
your independence and self respect, you feel, while read- 
ing such exalted language, that the suffering it describes 
can befall none but those who have fallen from the 
loftiest estate. Were you less intelligent than you are, 
that idea would be yet more decided in your mind* 
The poets who wrote these tragedies understood well 
the hearts of the masses, and that they extend more 
pity towards the powerful than they receive from them, 
or than they bestow upon one another. Besides, there 
is the sense of greater personal security in the success 
of the chieftain of their choice, their pride in his glory 
and in the feeling of their identification with his for- 
tunes, whether in prosperity or adversity. And so they 
will go to his wars, suffer and fight for him, and die for 
him, and their children will be proud of having had 
such fathers. What do you say to that ? " 

" I expect you are about right. In fact, we see some- 
thing of the same sort, though, on a small scale, in our 
elections at home. Parties choose their leaders, and 
when the campaign gets hot the more ignorant a fellow 
is the more ready he is, if not an arrant coward, to fight 
for his candidate. I suppose it's natural to us all to 
have our leaders." 

"Just so; and the more ignorant we are the more 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. . 43 

necessary seem to us their triumph, and the more disas- 
trous their fall. Then there is to be considered that even 
the weakest and most incapable has his share, small as it 
may be, of personal ambition, and looks forward to his 
portion in the aggregate successes of his cause. These 
are the secrets of loyalty and patriotism. A man must 
look vp to some one above him, even in this world. If 
he does not, he will be unhappy. It is God's work. 
The kings and the great rulers are necessary, but they 
have not been generally happy, because, for the most, 
they had no higher personages to look up towards in 
whose glory they could feel pride and common interest, 
or whose misfortunes they could pity. We are glad we 
are not kings, Jim, are'nt we ? " 

"Yes, indeed, or queens either; especially queens." 

We were soon out of Shropshire and into Staffordshire, 
and my friend was full of admiration at this the great 
coal and iron region of England. The scores, the hun- 
dreds of factory chimneys near Wolverhampton, from 
which the fires and smoke, rushing day and night con- 
tinuously, made it seem as if the whole region around 
was a forest on fire, were intensely interesting to a mind, 
which, in spite of age and adversities, yet delighted in 
the evidences of energy and prosperity. As we were 
approaching Birmingham, he said : 

'Now, sir, if I had had the picking out of the stop- 
ping places on this route, yonder's the town I should 
have selected, instead of your Chester with its old walls — 
not that I ain't glad I've seen old Chester one time, just 
to find out what a curious kind of a town people can 
make when they try." 

"Why Jim, we might have given Birmingham a day. 
Why did'nt you mention that you would like to see.it ? " 



44 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

" Oh it makes no difference; it's all right. Our time 
is too short for us both to see all we want to, and it's 
easier to leave the routes to one, and that one, you. In 
your programme I shall see enough sights to last the 
balance of my life. No doubt about that. I just said 
what I did to be talking. But I bet I can tell more 
about this town than 3^011 can." 

"I've not a doubt of it. I have often regretted, Jim, 
that I could not take more interest than I do in the his- 
tory and progress and varieties of manufacturing busi- 
ness." 

"Yes, I see you think more of seeing and talking 
about old towns and old things than new. You always 
did, Phil. You were even a sort of an old boy." 

" I admit that my conclusion to come out here with 
you was brought about mainly — besides the pleasure of 
having you for a companion — " 

"Ahem! of course." 

"Was to see old, historic places. To tell you the 
truth, I am ashamed of my ignorance of the march of 
mechanical industries, but more so of my unwillingness 
to make the effort to learn something about them." 

"As to that, Phil, people are not alike. It's well they 
ain't. No one man can know everything, or like every- 
thing. Such things ain't in your line, and your old his- 
tories ain't in mine. You and I suit to travel together 
very well, and a heap better than if we had exactly the 
same ideas. We can have and do have some variety, and 
— if you was'nt so poky — we might have some little fun. 
I must see if I can't wake you up a little out of your 
dreaminess, my old man." 

" I wish you would, my sweet youth." 

"Hello, that's the liveliest thing you've said since we 
left home. I'm having hopes of you." 



TWO GRAY TOUEISTS. 45 

" But speaking of old things, Birmingham is a very 
old place." 

" I thought it was modern." 

" It was a town in the time of the Komans, called then 
Bremerium. The old Strata VitelHanas, now called 
Watling street, is not far from here* Even in those 
times this was a considerable place for the manufacture 
of arms. I doubt if there are many Roman relics now • 
but I should have liked myself to see old St. Martin's 
Church in the Bull-Eing. That is more than a thou- 
sand years old." 

"Good gracious! I'm glad you did'nt bet. I find 
you know a sight more about the place than I do. Tell 
me some more." 

"No, that's about all I know, except that in later 
times it was the capital of the Kingdom of Mercia." 

" Upon my word, those items of information had es- 
caped me. Well, your knowledge and mine will dove- 
tail very well. Between us, we can make something of 
the town. In the first place, Birmingham is the health- 
iest of all the large towns of England. You know the 
reason why ? No ? Well, in the first place, it is built 
on the sides of three hills, and the drainage into this 
river Eea, as they call it, is perfect. Another reason, as 
they say, is the immense amount of vitriol which is 
made here and in the works at Solio and Smettick, close 
by. But a better reason still, is that the houses are not 
so crowded here as in Liverpool and the other towns." 

By this time we were at the station, and although we 
had only five minutes, Jim declared he meant to run out 
of the enclosure and take one look. 

" Get a couple of bottles of beer and something to eat," 
he said, as the train stopped and he rushed out. 



46 TWO GEAY TOUEISTS. 

" In the carriage, in the carriage." 

" Certainly, certainly. In the carriage. Let her 
move on. Good-bye, my friend," he said to the porter 
who fastened onr door, " I would have given you some- 
thing to get me a drink of water, except I suppose it 
would have cost you twice as much to get as it would 
have been worth to me. Do you love beer ? " 

u Oh, yes, sir. It's better an' water." 

" There, you take this and drink our health. It's for 
giving me the hint when your carriage was going to 
move." 

Jim took the front seat, and looked back at the town 
as long as it was visible. 

" Don't she look old and solid ? This is a live town, 
Phil. The very walk of the people is different from that 
in that old tarrapin we've just left. They have some 
air here. I've read that Birmingham has twice as much 
room to the man as Manchester, and three times as much 
as Liverpool. But as for me, I could'nt live in a big 
town. "Why don't they make the streets wider and have 
more shade trees? I suppose it's because they don't 
know, when the town first begins, that it is going to 
grow so big. I begin to like this beer. It is better than 
water — such as they have here. Oh ! if I could get one 
drink of water out of my well. But that if. F, you 
know, my friend, is the longest letter in the book." 

Thus rattling on, he took his lunch, and afterwards 
we lit our cigars and looked with delight upon the ever- 
changing and ever-pleasing views in this the so-called 
heart of England — the county of Warwick. 

"There don't seem to be any poverty in this region, 
Phil ; in the country I mean. I see from the map that 
we are in Warwickshire," 



TWO GHAY TOUJilSTS. 



47 



" Yes, of all, the country I have most desired to see." 
"I bet it has a plenty of old worn-out things in it. 
Well, I guess there's a few fresh things scattered about 
here and there that a young fellow can pick up." 




CHAPTER V. 




EAMINGTON is certainly the cleanest-look- 
ing town I have even seen. It was too early 
for the season, and not many strangers were 
there. These were invalids, for the most part, 
who had come for the benefit of the waters and the 
baths. But all, including invalids and inferior sorts of 
persons, seemed to be trying to keep in harmony with 
the general cleanliness and brightness of the town, the 
shining bath-chairs, which here we saw for the first 
time, pushed leisurely along the sidewalks, their occu- 
pants looking leisurely into the bright shops, and the 
shop-keepers seeming as if they had just come out of 
the baths, and preferred quiet to selling merchandise. 
After a good dinner at the Eegent, on the Lower Parade, 
we strolled over Leicester, Kegent, and Warwick streets, 
Holly Walk, The Lansdowne Crescent and Circus, and 
thence through the fine Jephson Gardens. 

(i She shoots well for a woman," remarked Jim, as we 
lingered where a party of young men and women were 
exercising themselves in the Archery. " She looks like 
she has some energy, and that's more than I can say for 
the men of this town as far as I've seem 'em. Did you 
ever see such an indifferent set ? They must all be rich 
people. At least, everybody looks as if he had a clean 
suit of clothes for every day ; and the very houses look 
like they were washed this morning with soap and water ? 

(48) 



TWO GEAY TOURISTS. 49 

and afterwards varnished. I thought you were after 
something old in these parts, Phil, but this is the newest- 
looking place that ever I saw." 

" Yes, Leamington is a new place. It is only within 
the few last years that it has become a favorite resort 
for the wealthy. We are in advance of the season, you 
see, and the shop-keepers are waiting for the crowds to 
come in hereafter." 

" I see they are waiting for something, and everybody 
is dressed up as if it was a wedding. But ain't these 
gardens pretty ? What a delightful little stream that is 
in the bottom." 

" That's the river Learn, you see." 

" Kiver ! Well, it takes mighty little water to make 
a river in this country." 

" Leaving our baggage at Leamington until the mor- 
row, we took a carriage for Coventry, via Stoneleigh and 
Kenil worth. My companion remarked, in an undertone 
to me, as the coachman ascended to his box, that few 
men of our age would often desire to have a portlier, 
red-faceder, well-fedder, dignifieder, and comfortable- 
lookinger driver than the one we had. When the latter 
had taken his lofty seat in the open barouche, he slowly 
turned his head half way round for instructions, seem- 
ing as if he was in communication with some person 
under the front seat. 

" He's like the rest of the Leamingtonians," said Jim, 
in a whisper, " and so, my gracious, are the very horses. 
Nobody and nothing else here seems ever to be in a 
hurry. But we've got the whole afternoon before us, 
and, upon my word, a man ought to want to travel 
slowly through such a country as this. My sakes, Phil! 
I had no idea that there was one-tenth of the timber in 
5 



50 TWO GRAY TOUKISTS. 

this old country. Can you tell me, my friend/' address- 
ing the driver, " whose land this is ? " 

In due time, the imaginary gentleman under the 
front seat might have heard the solemn response i 

" Lord Leigh's, sir." 

" What ? He owns land this far from home ? " 

" H'oh, yes, indeed, sir." 

On we drove through lanes, on both sides of which 
alternated the greenest fields we had ever seen, and 
forests from which one would have believed that never a 
tree or even a shrub had been removed. The approach 
to Stoneleigh Abbey reminded of the old stories of 
fairy-land, so enchanting were its shaded avenues and 
irregular plantations amid undulating grounds. The 
Abbey, with its surroundings, from every point of view, 
were most picturesque. We would fain have lingered 
and entered within the grounds, but after admiring for 
a brief time the old gateway (of the time of Henry II), 
we proceeded on. A mile further, in the direction of 
Kenilworth, we passed through another gate, and then 
the great forests of oak and beech became more and 
more dense and imposing. The ivy, climbing high up 
among the branches, and the thick underwood, made 
these forests seem impenetrable. 

" None but rich folks hunt in these woods, driver, eh ? " 

" H'oh no, indeed, sir." 

"Thafs plain enough. Common folks don't shoot 
these rabbits. Look at that fellow yonder, and that one, 
and that one. That's eight I've seen in the last half 
mile. They've come out, I suppose, just for a little 
walk — or rather a little hop — in the fresh air. They 
can't get any in them bushes and briars. It would do 
the people here more good, I should say, to clear up 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 51 

some of that land and sow it down in wheat. But that's 
none of my business, and so far as I can see, everybody 
about here seems to make a living with mighty little 
work. Ah, yonder" s your Kenil worth ! ISTow for a sen- 
sation! Now for a right smart plucking up in the old 
man." 

We drove leisurely through the long straggling main 
street of the village, with its frequent displays on faded 
sign-boards, of the Bear and Ragged Staff, the ancient 
crest of the Leicesters. But our eyes, Jim's as well as 
mine, though he would have pretended otherwise, peered 
before us eagerly for what was left of the castle. 
Arrived there we were surprised and discontented not 
to find guides ready for employment; for, although we 
had freshened ourselves up by reading, while on the 
ship, Scott's novel, we desired to inspect minutely, and 
in the brief period allowed us, the famous old ruin. 
Finding by inquiry of the keeper, another portly man, 
with blue coat and brass buttons, that there were no 
guides, and nothing was to be had for our purposes but 
photographs of the separate parts, Jim merely remarked 
that he had 'arf a crown in his pocket for which he had 
no very particular use that he knew of just then. The 
keeper called from the lodge a woman who might have 
been his wife, and saying he was called away on business 
and would be gone for an hour or two, we passed, under 
his lead, through the Great Gateway into the outer 
court. To our right, Caesar's Tower, the Leicester 
Buildings to the left; before us, and across the inner 
court, the Banqueting Hall and the Strong Tower, and 
adjoining, the famous Pleasaunce; on our left, Morti- 
mer's Tower, and beyond it, the lake and the tilt yard. 

I cannot say how I should have felt if I had visited 



52 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

this scene, so replete with historic and romantic interest, 
when I was younger, and my warmer blood bounded 
with the recital of knightly deeds. Even as it was, I 
seemed to feel as much emotion as the youngest and 
most ardent could have felt. Jim partook fully of this 
emotion, quite unexpectedly to himself, he contended; 
and he minutely studied the ground. We walked to 
the tilt-yard, plucked some of the eglantines which 
grew in profusion on the banks of the little stream 
where once was the bridge which the Earl, three hun- 
dred years before, had built in honor of the visit of the 
great queen. Returning, we ascended the steps of the 
Strong Tower to Amy Robsart's chamber, descended, 
and strolled through the Pleasaunce and the garden. 
An hour was sufficient for all. We spoke but little. 
My thoughts had never gone so wholly and so inter- 
estedly into the past. The Clintons, the Montforts, the 
Lancasters, and the Leicesters, the Kings Henries, Ed- 
wards, and Elizabeth, and, lastly, Cromwell, the great 
hater of kings and lords, and the fell destroyer of their 
works. I was where, all my life-time, I had desired to 
be for one time, where these great ones had had their 
days of triumph and misfortune, their jousts and feasts 
in times of peace, and their battles and sieges in times of 
war. These had been here, where now all is desola- 
tion, and the very ivy, with its huge, brown, knotted 
trunk, looks almost as old as the ruin on which it feeds. 

"A tolerable old pile of buildings that, my friend," 
said Jim to the coachman, when we were off again. 

" Very old, sir." 

" Who does that piece of property belong to now ? " 

" Hurl Clarrun " 

"Who?" 



TWO Oil AY TOURISTS. 53 

"Hurrcll Clarrunen, sir." 

Jim looked enquiringly to me. 

"Earl Clarendon" 

" If he would talk at me," whispered Jim, " I could 
understand him better." 

" To what base uses we descend," I remarked, as we 
looked towards where the ancient abbey once stood and 
saw only the gateway and another small part now used 
for a cow-honse. 

"A cow is a yery useful animal, sir," said Jim. 

I looked at him reproachfully. 

After a travel of five miles over the very finest road in 
England, we came in full view of the " three tall spires," 
and shortly afterwards were driving briskly up the 
street, making for " The King's Head " of Coventry. 

"Where is the man carrying us?" I said to Jim, as, 
suddenly taking up his horses, he turned from the street 
into a narrow alley. 

"Drive to the King's Head, man," I called out, ex- 
citedly. 

Jim laughed silently, as the coachman, making no 
reply, drove on in a slow walk until the horses, of their 
own accord, stopped before a door in the alley, out of 
which a well-dressed, elderly woman, followed by two 
remarkably pretty, sweet-looking girls came forth with 
smiles and curtsies. I was much embarrassed, and 
looked at Jim. 

" Oh, you must do the talking," said Jim, assuming an 
embarrassment that approximated alarm. 

The coachman dismounted, opened the carriage door, 
and was proceeding to take down our bags and umbrellas. 

" Madam," said I to the elderly lady, " I beg pardon. 
"We are not the persons you seem to take us for ; but 
really, ladies — " 5* 



54 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

My embarrassment painfully increased as I noticed 
tliern becoming suddenly grave and as suddenly arch 
(especially the girls), as they noticed my friend behind 
me whom, turning around, I saw making strenuous efforts 
to avoid laughing outright. Never having known him 
to be otherwise than gentle and most respectful towards 
women, I had not thy slightest notion of what to make of 
his conduct. 

" Ladies," said I again, " there is some unaccountable 
miscarriage in this matter. We are a couple of Ameri- 
can gentlemen, merely traveling for entertainment, and 
are not those whom you have been evidently expecting. I 
directed the coachman to take us to the King's Head 
Inn, which I had been informed was the best known in 
Coventry, but by some misunderstanding he has brought 
us to a private house " 

At this the young ladies laughed out, and so did Jim. 
The elderly woman again curtsied, and smiling, said : 

" The coachman is right, sir ; this is the King's Head, 
and we shall be happy to entertain you." 

There was nothing that I could think of to say that 
would not have made matters worse. I only looked im- 
ploringly around for pardon. It seemed to be freely 
bestowed by all except the coachman. He rolled his 
great, red, moist eyes upon me for a moment, and as he 
led his horses into the court-yard, muttered : 

" Thought I did'nt know the King's 'Ed ! Private 
'ousel" 

This being the first time I had seen an inn of the 
fashion which afterwards we found so common in Eng- 
land and Europe, I considered my mistake not unnat- 
ural. I was slow, however, in learning the relations of 
the different parts of this ancient but most respectable 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 55 

establishment — the coffee-room, the smoking-room, the 
bar, the office, and the route to and from our chamber. 
For my life, I could not definitely get the localities ; 
and the smiles exchanged frequently between Jim and 
these girls made more vain my efforts in that direction. 
Not that I do not own to a natural absence of mind 
which has been wont to manifest itself, especially in the 
forge tfulness of places, excusable in some sort, I contend, 
in such as are as inconspicuous and comparatively capri- 
ciously arranged as those in an English inn. 

We had but a part of the next morning in which to 
view Coventry, as our programme was to return by rail to 
Leamington and then by carriage again to Stratford. I 
determined, therefore, to rise betimes the next morning 
and see as much as possible before breakfast. At five 
o'clock I was up. I asked Jim if he would go with me. 

" Not if I know myself," said he, " to see nothing but 
old things this time of day. I'll find you out some- 
where in the course of a couple of hours and see what- 
ever is alive in the old town ; that ain't much, I take it, 
as far as I've seen, except some pretty, rosy-cheeked 
girls. At present — " he turned over and immediately 
fell back to sleep. 

I began my descent, and it was soon evident that I 
had taken the wrong way at the first turning. A man 
unused to such buildings, constructed at numerous 
intervals through scores of years around a court yard, 
has little notions of the numbers of turnings the passages 
have and the irregularities of the plans of the various 
apartments. Discovering that I had lost my way, I 
thought to retrace my steps. The eagerness, strange at 
my time of life, that I felt not to be caught in so embar- 
rassing condition as in the afternoon previous, made me 



56 TWO GEAY TOURISTS. 

the more confused, as I walked rapidly on. I saw very 
soon that I was utterly lost. I rushed on, however, as 
rapidly and as noiselessly as possible, now descending 
three or four steps and turning into a new passage, now 
ascending and diverging into another. I began at last to 
suspect that I must have gotten into the most private 
recesses of the house, possibly the apartments occupied 
by the females. In spite of the consciousness of the 
entire purity of my intentions, I reflected that I was a 
long way from home, entirely unknown here — well, the 
truth is, such feelings as I had cannot be well 
described. In my desperation, I determined henceforth 
to follow every descending suite of stairs that I should 
meet, until I should reach some point of egress on the 
ground floor. After having taken, as I really believe, 
more than two hundred steps, I found two large folding- 
doors, which, I could see by a side light, when opened, 
would admit me into the court-yard. To my amaze- 
ment, I found the doors were locked from without. My 
feelings now partook of the indignant and even the 
angry. I seized the bolt and shook the doors with great 
violence several times. At last, the Boots, the only 
male person I had noticed about the establishment, was 
aroused where he had been sleeping, came to the door, 
and after scrutinizing me as closely as possible, with 
wide-open but not fully-awakened eyes, put in the key 
he carried, and let me out. 

"In the name of thunder," said I, "what do you 
people mean by — " 

But on a second's reflection, I knew that Boots ought 
not to be responsible for the building, or rather the 
numerous buildings of the house. Upon mild inquiry 
of where I was and how far from my chamber, on giving 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 57 

my number, he opened his great blue eyes to the very 
fullest, made with his fingers two sides of an imaginary 
parallelogram, running up the long and down the short 
side. I had travelled, it appeared, over the greater part 
of both these sides. If I had not descended when I 
did, I should have gotten among the stables in the loft 
of which Boots had been sleeping. I did not tell him 
in words, that I would rather he would not mention the 
circumstance; but the size of the piece I put into his 
hand made him appear grateful and intelligent. 

I saw not a soul upon the street except a policeman, 
though the sun was now fully up. He accompanied me 
to the old priory, rather the few remains yet left of it ; 
then knocking at a door at the corner of the same street, 
he roused a woman who, at his request, took a bunch of 
keys, and leading us to St. Michael's Church hard by, 
let ns in. I felt amply compensated for the preceding 
anxieties of the morning by the sight, first of the lofty 
tower, prism and spire of this the largest and most 
tasteful of the parish churches of England, and after- 
wards, the interior, nave, aisles, and chancel with aisles 
and transepts, the latter most fitly divided from the 
body of arches rising from columns in clusters. From 
the wall of one of these transepts I copied an inscrip- 
tion which I afterwards submitted to Jim's criticism. 
While standing outside, and looking up at the tower, 
the bells, ten in number, sounded chimes, which, if I 
did not consider such music among the inferior sorts, 
would have impressed me much. They certainly were 
far the best that I have ever heard. Returning to Hertford 
street, on which was our hotel, at about seven o'clock, 
I met Jim, who said that he had just been into a watch- 
making establishment. 



53 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

" By the way, Phil, I heard a tremendous racket down 
stairs and about the house generally just after you left." 

I took no notice of the remark, but stopped suddenly 
and pointed to a curious wooden figure in one of the 
open windows of an upper floor. 

"What in the name of Davy Crockett is that?" 

" That is Peeping Tom," I answered. 

" What sort o' Tom?" 

"Peeping Tom." 

"I'm about as wise now as I was at first." 

I then recounted the old legend of the Lady Godiva, 
and the signal punishment that befell the poor fellow, 
who, while the other citizens kept their eyes shut as, in 
obedience to the brutal conditions of her husband, she 
rode through the streets with no other covering than 
her long hair, looked upon her, and was smitten with 
blindness. 

"And how long ago was that ?" 

" Oh, several hundred years." 

"You don't mean that that grinning old thing has 
been there so long ? " 

" It is well established that it has been there for at 
least three hundred years." 

He looked at it intently for several moments. 

"Well, old fellow, it was put on you right heavy for 
your curiosity. Why did'nt you just go one eye ? Still, 
I think you were served about right." 

After breakfast, we took leave of the women. We all 
shook hands, and, as pleasantly as I knew how, I apolo- 
gized for my mistake of the evening before. 

" Is that all ? " began Jim ; but one of the girls shook 
her finger at him. 

" That Boots is a shabby fellow," said I, after we were 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 59 

off, and I found that my morning's adventure was 
known. 

" Boots ? He had nothing whatever to do with it. 
You scared those women half to death while you were 
prowling about their rooms. If it had been a little 
sooner in the morning you would have finished 'em. As 
it was, they saw you, and rang the bell for the Boots to 
let you out. What were you doing in that part of the 
house, any how ? " 

"I had lost the thread of Ariadne,' 7 I answered, 
gravely. Jim looked at me seriously and interrogatingly 
for a moment, but said not another word on the subject. 

"I wish," said I, "that we had had time to ride over 
yonder to Gosford Green." 

" That's the ground of the duel between the Duke of 
Norfolk and Henry Bolingbroke. I remember that. 
There was'nt any blood spilt, however, and it's been a 
long time ago. "Well, Phil, a man at your time of life 
old things suit. A man of my age likes new things. 
While you were going about those old churches, I was 
looking around to see what the people did for their 
living. That's a right live town, if it is old." 

And then he gave me an account of the business done 
there in the watch, ribbon and silk trades : he had all 
the figures." 

" By the way, Phil, what did they mean by putting 
'in Coventry?'" 

"There are various accounts of the origin of the 
phrase, but none satisfactory." 

" I suppose when they put a fellow there, in the old 
times, they — as it were — located him — at the King's 
Head, and let him — get lost — as it were." 

" Possibly. Look here, Jim, here is a curious epitaph 



60 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

I copied in St Michael's Church. It purports to have 
been written by the deceased himself "In the agony 
and Dolorous Paines of the Gout and died soon after." 

" Here lyes an Old Tossed Tennis Ball, 
Was Raeketted from Spring to Pall, 
With so much heat and so much hast, 
Time's arm for shame grew tyr'd at last. 
Four Kings in Camps he truly seru'd, ■ 
And from his royalty ne'er sweru'd. 
Father ruined, the Son slighted, 
And from the Crown ne'er requited, 
Loss of Estate, Relations, Blood, 
Was too well known, but did no good. 
With long Campaigns and paines o' the Gout, 
He cou'd no longer hold it out. 
Always a restless life he led, 
Never at quiet till quite dead. 
He marry'd, in his latter dayes, 
One who exceeds the common praise ; 
But wanting breath still to make Known 
Her true Affection and his Own, 
Heath Kindly came, all wants supply'd 
By giving Rest which life deny'd." 

" Well, sir, I should say a meaner piece of poetry I 
should seldom wish to hear read. No wonder the fellow 
that wrote that died soon after. None but a dying 
man ought to be expected to write such poetry as that. 
You ain't going to carry that home with you ? " 
" Certainly. It's a very remarkable thing." 
" Oh, it's remarkable. No doubt about that. It's 
remarkable that anybody, even on his death-bed, should 
make such stuff as that, and want it put on his tomb- 
stone; and then it's remarkable that a well man in his 
senses should want to keep a copy of it." 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 61 

I was surprised and pleased to notice how I had 
scotched Jim in his intentions to plague me about my 
blunders at the King's Head. He asked me very par- 
ticularly about the Christian names of most of my 
female acquaintances whom he knew. I answered all 
his questions with prompt accuracy, never returning his 
intent looks. As we took the carriage again at Leam- 
ington for our afternoon's drive, he said : 

" I thought I would buy a couple of handkerchiefs in 
this town, but they are too indifferent, these merchants. 
Well, good-bye Leamington. I'm glad to have seen you 
all, and to leave you all, looking so clean and contented 
in your minds." 

Opening his bag to get out cigars, he said : 

" Well, I see my thread is all safe yet." 

I detected the mischief in his tone, but at the same 
time, the uncertainty. 




CHAPTER VI 




HE afternoon was fine. The coachman, though 
partaking of the general steadiness of his fel- 
low-citizens, was more communicative than 
the one of yesterday. Jim had given him a 
cup of beer before starting, and he was easily induced at 
our cordial invitation to join us in the weed. We had 
journeyed for some time over a beautiful, undulating 
road, when halting at the foot of a hill, and pointing 
to the left, he said : 

" Guy's Cliffe ! Yonder's the mill." 

We alighted, and following the level pathway for a 



hundred or so 



paces, 



arrived at the old mill, and 



passing it a few steps stood upon a narrow bridge over 
the Avon and looked up at the mansion. A sweeter 
place for a man of culture, who sought compensation for 
absence from the city in the charms of nature, could no 
where be found on this earth. The clear river, widened 
by the embankment which backed its waters to the very 
foot of the mansion in its rear, the huge rock out of 
which the latter' s foundation was hewed rising on either 
side, the dense, green shrubbery extending along the bank 
and up the cliff, mingling with the low-hanging branches 
of majestic shade trees above and beyond, all conspire, in 
perfect harmony, to make a home that " to one who de- 
sireth a retired life, either for his devotions or study, 

(62) 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 63 

the like is hardly to be found." After gazing upon this 
scene for a few minutes, we retraced our steps to the 
road and walked up the hill to the front gate. It was 
open ; but the portress, emerging from the lodge, politely 
informed us that Lady Percy was at home, and that 
strangers were not expected to enter the front grounds. 
We could only look down the fair avenue, through the 
lofty firs, and imagine to ourselves what manner of place 
it must be, the approaches to which were so exceeding 
beautiful. 

A short drive brought us to Warwick Castle. 

" This looks like worth coming to see," said Jim, as 
advancing through the deep, semi-circular road cut out 
of the rock we had full view of this magnificent structure. 
"Another Caesar's Tower. They seemed in those times 
to have believed in old Caesar in this country; and a 
Guy's Tower — our same old Guy of the Cliff, I suppose. 
Where's the part that was burnt some years ago ? " 

" There," I said, pointing to the Baronial Hall, and 
the suite of rooms following over a portion of that side 
of the court. 

" Why the fire did'nt even kill the ivy on the wall." 

It was surprising to see, in spite of the withered trunks, 
the green leaves which here and there dotted the walls. 
We entered along with about a dozen other tourists the 
great Banqueting Hall, and passed through the Red 
Drawing Room, the Cedar Drawing Room, the Gilt 
Drawing Room, the State Bed Room, and others. It 
was rather tiresome to listen to the poor woman whose 
business it was to point out to tourists the objects of 
interest, and the more so as the monotony of her occu- 
pation, it was plain to see, had become extremely weari- 
some to herself. She seemed surprised and even slightly 



64 TWO GKAY TOURISTS. 

disgusted whan any one exhibited special interest in any- 
thing, or enough to linger even for a moment in its con- 
templation; and she showed evidently her displeasure 
whenever she was called upon to repeat any of her remarks. 
The ladies paid little attention to this, but the gentle- 
men were somewhat considerate, and would have been 
more so except for her fretfulness Jim, who had kept 
very much in the rear, having become tired of the mo- 
notony, and not having noticed her infirmity, spoke up 
just as we were emerging from the Banqueting Hall. 

" Just one moment, madam, if you please Will you 
be kind enough to say again what it was you called this 
— ah — sideboard ? " 

The woman turned and looked at him, and while 
subdued smiles were on all other faces, she frowned 
visibly. 

" That, sir, is the Kenilworth Buffet, as I said as dis- 
tinctly as I could, made of the Great H'oak of Kenil- 
worth." 

" Oh ! " said Jim, " I took it for a sideboard." 

" I will thank the gentlemen, and the ladies, to listen 
as well as they can, for while they 'ave two ears apiece, 
Hi 'ave but one voice." 

Jim colored and said : 

" I beg pardon, ma'am, I had no idea of being specially 
troublesome, and will try not to be so again." 

The woman noticed the perfect sincerity of his apology, 
and evinced slight signs of regret by appearing some- 
times to address her remarks, specially such as were 
laudatory, to him mainly, and at such times taking un- 
usual pains to make her utterances distinct and em- 
phatic. He received these little demonstrations as a 
gentleman should have done, with complete apparent 



TWO GRAY TOUItlSTS. 05 

attentiveness. She called our attention, in one of the 
rooms, to the view to be had from the windows. As 
we were looking out upon that fair horizon, the 
winding Avon, the alternations of fields and woodlands 
extending far away into Worcestershire, Ave noticed that 
the woman, with a pained expression in her face, was 
leaning wearily against the door-facing. We were an 
hour or more in this round As Ave descended at last, 
Jim was the last to leave. Each of the rest having put 
into the hands of the guide a small piece of money, he 
handed her half a crown. 

" H'oh ! thanks, sir. But really, sir — Hi — am — sorry — " 

" Not a word, ma'am. All my fault. I ought to have 
known you must be tired. Thank you, ma'am. Good- 
bye, ma'am." 

" She ought to be paid well for that work," he said, as 
we were walking off. " Now, if I could ever learn all those 
everlasting names of old pictures and such things, it 
Avould kill me dead to have to go over them as often as 
she has. See yonder, she is there at the window above 
where we went in waiting for that other party coming 
up. But, by gracious, that's a right sizable bowl." 

" My patience, Jim ! call the celebrated WarwickVase 
a howl. Herds the Warwick boivl" I said, as we lingered 
at the old gate and inspected, among other relics of the 
giant, his punch- bowl. 

" Do you call this pot a bowl, ma'am ? " he asked of 
the portress. 

" H'oh, and it is a bowl, h'and many the time h'it was 
filled and emptied when the Hurrul come to his h'age." 

"/should call it a pot, a regular old-fashioned wash- 
pot However, when they call a sideboard a looffay, 
there's no telling what they may'nt call bowls and pots." 

6* 



66 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

As we passed through Warwick, we had a good view 
of Leicester's Hospital and the West Grate. 

" With the exception of these old things, and a few 
others, the town looks tolerably new, after all," said Jim. 

" The. old town," said I, "was mostly destroyed by 
the great fire of 1694." 

"They have gates yet, but I'm thankful, for the 
people's sake here, that they have'nt got any old wall to 
keep out the air. Driver, what old chap is that with 
the blue gown, going up to that church, or whatever 
that is up there, on top of the gate, and what's that he 
has on his sleeve ? " 

" 'Ee's one of the Brothers of the 'ospital, sir. They 
'ave to worship in St. James' Chapel. That's the Bear 
and Ragged Staff on 'is sleeve. The Hurrell of Leices- 
ter, 'ee founded the 'ospital." 

"He did, did he? Well, I think he might have 
picked out a prettier uniform for his people, and not 
made 'em have to go up so high to say their prayers. 
Do you suppose, driver, that any good beer could be got 
in this town ? It seems mighty long between drinks." 

" H'oh yes, sir ; " and although a Leamingtonian, he 
laughed with reasonable appreciation of my friend's 
jocularity. After a few moments' rest and refreshment, 
we set out again. We can never forget the drive, the 
sweetness of the fields and forests that June afternoon, 
the rich green wheat, in its midst the red sparkling 
poppies, the abundant cosy road-side shades ! Yonder is 
Shirburn, and yonder Fulbroke Park, and yonder Hamp- 
ton Lucy. Here is the little church at the opening to 
Charlecote. Halting for a brief space, we climbed the 
railing, entered, and passing into the Lucy Chapel, saw 
the tombs of Sir Thomas and his lady; then we drove 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 67 

slowly along the circuitous road around the grounds, 
yet well stocked with fallow deer, getting ever changing 
views of the ancient hall. Again we halted at the 
further gate where the angry boy posted his first poetry, 
for which crime, more heinous than killing the deer, he 
must go into the exile so prolific of great results. 

" Well," said Jim, " the family seem to hold on well 
to it, and a good piece of property it is." 

" It looks, Jim, as if Slender' s prophecy was a true 
one, that as the Lucies have written themselves armigero, 
any time these three hundred years ' as all his successors 
gone before him have done, and all his ancestors that 
come after him may, they may give the dozen white 
luces in his coat.'" 

" Yes, indeed; and when a family gets hold of as solid 
a piece of property as this, and the law won't let it go 
out of it, a fellow even smarter than Shakspeare may 
write himself blind, in making fun of them, but he 
can't put 'em down." 

Into Stratford, and down another alley. We had 
expected never to get to an inn where the women were 
nicer-looking, and things generally more snugly arranged 
than at the King's Head, And yet, it did seem to be 
so at the Red Horse. I was not slow to understand the 
cordial greetings that, before the carriage fairly stopped, 
we were receiving from three girls any fresher and pret- 
tier than whom (to use a favorite expression of Jim's) 
I should seldom wish to see. Having been conducted 
to our chamber, which, fortunately for me, was easily 
accessible, we descended the stairs, and were shown the 
coffee-room, smoking-room, and "Washington Irving's 
sitting-room." These were all so entirely satisfactory 
that we would have sat down and enjoyed the serenity 



OS TWO GEAY TOURISTS. 

we felt. But the day was far spent, and the morrow 
being Sunday, which we desired to spend in Oxford, we 
sallied out to see the Shakspeare mansion. A poor house, 
indeed, whose occupants of old time doubtless had little 
foresight of the fame it was to have, and the pilgrims 
of all tongues who were to resort to it. Yet, I thought, 
who knows what joy might not have been in that low- 
roofed upper chamber on that April day when another 
man-child was born into the world. For joy, and even 
pride and expectation belong not alone to mothers of 
princes and lords, who bear them on costly beds, beneath 
gilded canopies, but also to those who, in such poor 
chambers as these, hear, for the first time, their beloved's 
voices, and wrapping them in homely garments, lay 
them on their breasts. Who can say what prophecies 
may not have been in that village woman's heart when 
she looked upon the face of that fair child who was so 
much more worth to her than all the Lucies, and the 
Beauchamps, and the Dudleys, theretofore and there- 
after! Surely, such a being could not be born here 
and there be no recognition in her who had travailed 
with him, that he was not of the kind of the village 
folk around them. 

A sweet walk it is across the fields to Shottery. In 
the narrow path along the hedges, we met several per- 
sons who had been to visit the cottage where the poet, 
yet a boy, was so : strangely wedded. The thatch was 
sunken and patched on this house, yet more humble 
than the one we had just left. We both sat, by invita- 
tion of the genteel woman claiming to be a descendant 
of the Hathaways, upon the rude stone seat, where, she 
confidently asserted, the lovers had often sat in their 
trysting time, and then, ascending to the nuptial chain- 



TWO GEAY TOURISTS. G9 

ber, we inscribed our names upon a book that lay upon 
the table ; then descending, and thanking Mrs. Taylor 
for the flowers she pulled for us, took our leave On 
the way home, I gave expression to some of the thoughts 
that were in my mind while in the chamber where the 
great man was born. Jim meditated awhile, and then 
answered thus : 

"I should'nt be surprised, Phil, if the woman did 
have some such ideas as you say. But that is'nt an 
uncommon thing. Women, the world over, are always 
proud of their babies when they are first born, and even 
up to the time when they find out that they are no 
greater shakes than other people's. I suppose the good 
Lord made 'em so, in the first place, to keep the poor 
things in some sort of heart before their children come, 
and then to keep 'em from neglecting 'em when they 
do come, and make 'em take that everlasting care of 'em, 
which, if they did'nt take, they would die, or get crip- 
pled, or sickly, and come to nothing. I've noticed 
often — no matter how little they think of themselves, 
and how big fools and no account generally they know 
their husbands or even their other and grown-up children 
to be — why, sir, if they have nothing else to tell you 
about their babies, they'll brag about how quick they 
cut their first teeth, or of their falling out of the cradle 
and not crying about it, or their reaching out their 
hands and trying to take hold of the moon, as if they 
were the only ones that ever did or could do such won- 
ders. Why, there's my wife, as sensible a woman as any- 
body else's wife, she's had eight children, and I tell you, 
Phil, what is the fact, not a single one of 'em, if he was 
a boy, that she did'nt have some idea that he was to 
grow to be a tremendous big man some day, presiden x 



70 TWO GTCA.Y TOURISTS. 

or governor, or judge, or something of the sort. Some- 
times I've said to her, ' look here, Emily, that baby is 
my baby, and I don't think my baby can be expected, 
escept as to what he has got from his mother' (his 
mother, yon know, Phil, I have to fling that in), * that 
my baby can be expected to be much, if anything, above 
the run of just good, common men like me.' You think 
that woman don't pinch me on the jaw, and tell me 
that it's all because I ain't ambitious, and if I was ambi- 
tions I would have been equal to any of the rest of 'em 
that go to Congress, and all such ? And by gracious, I 
do believe she thinks so. Yes, sir ; yes, sir ; I should'nt 
be at all surprised if the old lady Shakspeare did 
have some right high notions about William when he 
was born at last, and she saw that he had a good big 
round head. But that's no sign; they all have 'em 
whether their babies' heads are big or little." 

" Jim Kawls," said I, " if it was not for your wife, I 
would knock you down right here." 

" Thanky," he answered, in great glee, " she's got me 
off from worse dangers than that many a time." 

A pleasant evening we had in the cosy chairs in the 
smoking-room hard by the little bar, waited on by the 
bar-maid, so pretty, and snug, and neat, and friendly. 
Jim ordered one extra mug of ale because, he said, it 
seemed to do her good to have the opportunity of oblig- 
ing us, old as Ave were. When we got to our chamber, 
he suddenly exclaimed: 

" There, now ! If I have'nt left my spectacles at that 
Anne Hathaway Cottage." 

" I noticed," said I, " that you took a good deal of 
pains when you were writing your name in that book ; 
but I supposed, of course, that you put your spectacles 



TWO OR AY TOURISTS. 71 

back into your pocket. You observe that other people 
can lose things as well as I." 

" Well, well, I don't know when such a thing hap- 
pened to me before. Never mind, it's too late to get 'em 
back, and I won't need any before Monday, or if I should, 
I can borrow yours. I don't grudge 'em to the old lady 
Taylor if they suit her. She looked like a monstrous 
clever old lady. By the way, Phil, I thought I would 
ask you what thread that was you said you lost this 
morning." 

"Why did'nt you?" 

" Well, I did'nt exactly — I know I put some needles 
and thread in your valise; but — who— whose thread did 
you say you lost ? " 

"Ariadne's." 

"Well, but how — what made you think her thread 
might have got away down there where the women 
stayed ? " 

" How could I know where it was ? " 

He thought awhile. Suddenly he broke out : 

" Who in the dickence is Ariadne, anyhow ? " 

After teasing him awhile, I related the myth of 
Theseus and the Labyrinth. 

"You got me that time, old fellow. I give it up. 
You answered so seriously this morning when I asked 
you about it, that I did'nt know what to make of it. I 
owe you one for that. Well, old Anne Hatha way's Cot- 
tage may go for me. But it was a polite old lady that 
showed it to us, and she's welcome to my spectacles if 
they suit her." 

It was long before my eyes were closed in sleep. Even 
after we had ceased to talk, and my companion was 
taking the profound slumber that comes to a man of 



72 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

sound body and spirit after a day's travel, I lay awake, 
dreaming awake of him who had made this place so 
famous. What mystery around him, what little known 
of the interior life of this the greatest of mankind, though 
born in the very heart of England and in the times of 
Elizabeth. That such a man should have left no record 
of his history, not even a letter to a friend. What a 
marriage ! What is the meaning of those unhappy son- 
nets which contain the saddest complainings that mortal 
ears ever listened to; that pursuit of a business which, 
although it brought him shame and grief, he persisted 
in for the sake of providing a home for Anne Hathaway 
and her children ; that indifference not only to fame, 
but to even a good name in refusing to notice even the 
charges of plagiarism, one of the meanest vices; and 
then that silent withdrawal from the great city and return 
to his humble place of nativity, dying and leaving a 
curse upon any who might come to molest the tomb 
which was to hold his dust ? What tragic loves had he 
told of — the young love of Eomeo, the married love of 
Othello, the old man's love of Lear ! What frightful 
thoughts he had had of death ! I suspect he did not 
greatly love this Anne Hathaway, but that he had loved 
another, younger and more fair, whom he failed to obtain 
from accidents agonizingly painful and abjectly humili- 
ating. Those sonnets, though so purporting, must surely 
have been addressed to no man. That lamentation of 
Venus for Adonis was written long after he had been a 
married man. Who but one whose heart had been 
blasted by disappointments and those that had been 
attended by disgrace, could have put such words as the 
following into the mouth of the goddess as she stood 
over the corpse of her lover : 



TWO Gil AY TOURISTS. 73 

Siiice thou art dead, lo here I prophesy ; 

Sorrow on love hereafter shall attend : 

It shall be waited on with jealousy, 

Find sweet beginning, but unsavory end, 

Ne'er settled equally, but high or low, 

That all love's pleasure shall not match his woe. 

It shall be fickle, false, and full of fraud, 
Bud and be blasted in a breathing while ; 
The bottom poison, and the top o'erstraw'd 
With sweets that shall the truest sight beguile : 
The strongest body shall it make most weak, 
Strike the wise dumb, and teach the fool to speak. 

It shall be sparing and too full of riot, 

Teaching decrepit age to tread the measures ; 

The stormy ruffian shall it keep in quiet, 

Pluck down the rich, enrich the poor with treasures; 

It shall be raging mad, and silly mild, 

Make the young old, the old become a child. 

It shall suspect where is no cause of fear ; 

It shall not fear where it should most mistrust ; 

It shall be merciful and too severe, 

And most deceiving when it seems most just : 

Perverse it shall be, where it shows most toward, 

Put fear to valor, courage to the coward. 

It shall be cause of war, and dire events, 

And set dissension 'twixt the son and sire ; 

Subject and servile to all discontents 

As dry combustious matter is to fire ; 

Sith in his prime, Death doth my love destroy, 

They that love best their love shall not enjoy. 

What words from a married man ! No, indeed ; this 
Anne Hathaway, eight years older than himself, of yet 
lowlier estate, was scarcely the first or chief, or only idol 
of his heart. Yet, he was a man, and he would get such 

7 



?4 TWO GRAY TOUEISTS. 

things as she and her children would need most, and this 
seems to have been the only purpose for which he lived 
and wrought. 

What had been the varying feelings with which he 
trod to and fro in that sweet walk across the fields to 
Shottery, and what when after his great career he re- 
turned, we can never know. The simple folk among 
whom he dwelt may have considered that a curious 
epitaph he w r as leaving. But such things were not un- 
common in old England. So they let down the coffin 
beneath the chancel in the church, laid back the stones 
smooth as before, and, w T hen night came, mingling gossip 
with sympathetic speeches, they at last grew sleepy and 
went to their beds. In time, sleep came to me also. 




CHAPTER VII. 



i 


!T§^i 



UST come here, Phil. Look at that." 

Jim was in the smoking-room, and was no- 
ticing with a smile the bill which had been 
made ont against us below the receipt of the 
payment of which were written the words " with thanks." 

" Now did you ever see such as that at the bottom of 
a receipt ? and would you ever wish to see a politer or a 
friendlier set of girls ? " 

They did look even more charming than the evening 
before, with their Sunday frocks, fresh roses in their 
hair, and perpetual ones on their cheeks. We shook 
hands with them reluctantly when bidding them good- 
bye. 

I thought there never could have been a sweeter 
Sunday morning. The dew was long in drying on the 
grass and leaves, and, even in our car, we could smell 
the flowers in the hedges and fields. The green, so deep 
it was, darkened among the woods. The air was still 
and soft. We had a slow train, and Ave saw very many 
of the country folk, some going to church, walking or 
in their carts drawn briskly by their round-bellied, sleek, 
snug, little cobs, some leisurely strolling along the gentle 
hill sides gathering nosegays, or lying at ease beneath 
the shady clumps of trees, while others, a few, were 
angling on the banks of the Cherwell and the stream- 

(75) 



76 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

lets leading into it. Quite a number of third-class 
cars were in our train ; these were emptied and filled 
again at every station. 

" They seem the quietest and contentedest people I ever 
saw, I think," said Jim. " There don't seem to be much 
poverty among these country folks. The very smallest 
of their houses look clean and comfortable. What a 
people they are for flowers and vines. I tell you what is 
a fact, Phil, there's something about flowers and vines 
that makes poor people get along well and live con- 
tented on a little. I've noticed that often. They keep 
them from letting things go loose generally, and some- 
how it seems to me that the ones who have them about 
their homes don't complain and don't get sick as often as 
the others, and when sick they get well sooner. I tell 
you that there's something about flowers and vines that's 
healthy. Banbury Station, eh ? I see we are in Oxford- 
shire. 

Ride a cock-horse to Banbury Cross, 

To see a fine lady get on a white horse, 

With rings on her fingers and bells on her toes, 

She shall have music wherever she goes. 

Oh dear, oh dear ! how often I've heard my little ones 
sing that, and how I wish I could hear 'em sing it this 
morning. But never mind, we'll all sing it together 
when we get back. Let's try another of the weed." 

The old fellow had made up his mind in spite of his 
tenderness not to be homesick, and so he lit up, the bell 
rang, and we were off again. As we passed Enslow Sta- 
tion, he said: 

"According to the map, those woods yonder to the 
right belong to Blenheim Park. Ah, that old Marl- 
borough ! He was one of 'em." 



TWO GKAY TOUKISTS. 77 

"Yes, indeed; but I should have thought more, if we 
could go there, of Alfred, and the Henries, and the other 
kings, Saxon and Norman, who made it their residence." 

" I'll be bound for that. Well, men at different ages 
like different things. Maybe I'll like old things myself 
when the time comes But yonder's your Oxford. Let's 
stop at the Randotyh. That sounds old Virginny like. 

At the Randolph Ave stopped. Things were on a 
broader but not more comfortable scale than at Strat- 
ford and Coventry. We spent the hour before dinner in 
a visit to Worcester College in order specially to see its 
gardens. The walk was not long up Beaumont street. 
Having easily obtained admittance through St. Bernard's 
Gateway, after surveying the quadrangles, the chapel, 
hall, common-room, and library, we walked into the 
gardens. Surely, five acres of ground could not easily 
have been made more beautiful. The walls completely 
covered in green, the narrow, winding waters, the varie- 
gated beds, shaded by the horse-chestnut trees, and the 
walks with elms, make this the favorite resort of towns- 
people as well as students. It was vacation, and we saw 
only one student as he sat in the windows of his room. 

" Poor fellow," said Jim, when the porter had told us 
that he was staying here in order to make up in the 
studies on which he had been cast. 

After dinner we strolled out again, wending down 
Magdalen and Cornmarket, passing Magdalen Church 
and Jesus Colleges, thence into High street, to All 
Saints and St. Mary's Churches, lingering before the 
latter (built for the university by Alfred the Great 
shortly after its foundation), to recall the fate of some 
eminent persons whose history was associated with its 
own. There rest the remains of Amy Kobsart, there 



78 TWO GRAY TOUEISTS. 

the unhappy Kosamond, sometimes when she could in 
safety leave St. Peter's in the East, might come timidly 
to Vespers. That porch, with its elegant twisted col- 
umns, so Italian in style, made one of the items in the 
impeachment of Archbishop Laud. Eetracing our way 
to High street, passing into Oriel, by St. Mary's Hall, 
Oriel and Corpus Ghristi Colleges, we reached by Canter- 
bury Gate Christ's Church. A citizen of the place whose 
acquaintance Jim made immediately after meeting him 
while coming out of the Cathedral — a lay-clerk — kindly 
led us through the great Tom-Gateway into the quad- 
rangle, the hall, common, and kitchen. 

"A tolerable sizable gridiron, that," said Jim, as the 
guide pointed out that relic of the times of the founder, 
the great Wolsey. 

" Yes, indeed, that was before ranges were invented, 
and you know that in the old times the part of a col- 
lege that was built first was the kitchen." 

" The mischief you say ! Stomachs first and brains 
afterwards ; not a bad idea. If you excuse me, sir, I'd 
like to know why they call that gate the Tom Gate ? " 

" That is from Tom, the naine of the great bell of 
the college." 

"Yes, yes, I've heard of the "Mighty Tom." That's 
him, is it ? " 

At that moment the bell sounded. 

" He lumbers right well. I'm glad I've heard him one 
time." 

On to Pembroke College, and into the room occupied 
by Samuel Johnson. 

"Out of that window," said the guide, "he threw 
into the court the new pair of shoes that had been left 
for him at the door, when his own were worn out, and 
he had not money to buy others." 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 79 

"I'd have done it too," said Jim, with emphasis. 
" The old fellow was right." 

" He was but a youth then, Jim," I said. 

" It makes no difference ; a man's a man, or ought to 
be, whatever his age is. And this is the desk he wrote 
his dictionary on, eh ? It ought to have been a book by 
good rights after he spent seven years pegging away at 
it on such a piece of furniture as that." 

Jim insisted upon our new acquaintance going with 
us to the hotel, taking tea, and smoking a cigar. 

"My friend here," said he, after tea, "always prefers 
something ancient. What is about the oldest thing in 
or about this town that we can show him in the morn- 
ing before we leave ? " 

"I should like," said I, "to visit Godstowe Priory." 

" The very thing," answered the clerk. " You can do 
that before breakfast." 

He accepted our invitation to accompany us, and 
betimes the next morning we were on our walk to the 
river. When we had reached Queen's Lane, 

"There," said the clerk, "is something old for you, 
St. Peter's Church in the East, the oldest church in 
England. The fair Eosamond used to go there to wor- 
ship, secretly wending her way through a crypt in order 
to avoid the observation of Queen Eleanour." 

"Poor thing! I suppose she thought she must go to 
meeting sometimes.'''' 

Arrived at the water, we hired a boat, Jim and the 
clerk took the oars, and we shot up the river, passing 
old Oxen Eorde, and about a mile further on, landed 
and walked to the place we sought. Nothing of the 
priory was left except a part of the wall and a small 
stone turreted structure. To yet baser uses this cele- 



80 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

brated spot had descended than that at Kenil worth, in 
being kept for breeding swine I was sorry Jim had 
gone with ns. 

"And this is it, is it ? The great Godstowe Priory ? 
You see, Phil, they are beginning to put these old 
things to some use at last. Kenilworth Abbey a cow- 
house, you tell me the Martyr's Tower is a horse-stable, 
and here's Godstowe Priory a hog-pen. Now, if they 
could put that old wall at Chester to some use, it would 
be about right. But let's go back. Make haste, Phil," 
he continued, after getting out of the enclosure, and 
looking back at me who was gathering a few ivy leaves 
from the old wall, "look out for fleas." 

His loud laugh rang out in the morning air. Keturn- 
ing to the river, we untied our boat, and sped swiftly 
to the landing. I paid the boatman in haste, insisting 
that it was my treat. "We had not proceeded a hundred 
yards when the man came running and calling after us. 
We halted. 

" Beg your pardon, sir," said he, addressing me, " but 
the price was 'arf a crown." 

"Certainly," said I, in some embarrassment, "I so 
understood it, and thought I paid you." 

"H'oh yes, indeed, sir; but you gave us two 'arf- 
crowns. I did'nt know — but John said — " 

" Did'nt you mean half crown a piece ? " 

"H'oh no, sir; for both." 

" Certainly," said the clerk. 

Jim took the money from his hands, and gave him a 
shilling of 'his own. 

"Take that for your pains. Here, Phil, take } r our 
money. That comes from bothering yourself with other 
people's business. You never saw such an absent- 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 81 

minded man," addressing the Englishman. "I have to 
watch him like a hawk, to keep him from losing every- 
thing he's got, and himself to boot." 

Jim pressed the clerk to breakfast with us; on his 
declining, he asked him cordially if he ever should 
come to Georgia, and so forth. 

Another fair day. The country along the Isis, hoav 
become the Thames, was delightfully ' diversified with 
field and woodland, level and undulating surface. The 
prospect was most fair when culminating in the Ohiltern 
Hills. As we passed through Berkshire, we remarked 
that the farms were smaller, and there seemed to be 
fewer landed proprietors than in those in which we had 
travelled. 

" My goodness ! " exclaimed Jim, " what a country for 
farming! They say that the sheep on those hills are 
uncommonly large and fine. Was there ever such a 
country for water as this? Not a field without it. 
And don't these smaller trees on them and the paths 
along them look nice ? Here we are at Reading. This 
is a live town. Look at the foundries and mills, and 
there's a big business here also in velvets and silks. A 
priory, too ? You don't say so. I wonder what animal 
owns it." 

On to Maidenhead, into Bucks. The Ohil terns con- 
tinue, but here their sheep, at least in the fleece, yield to 
those of the Aylesbury Vale. Now the farming gives 
way to the dairy and chicken-walk, and junking, as some 
there name it, begins in milk, and butter, and poultry 
for the London market. What perfect economy! Not 
an inch unoccupied. We look over yonder to the right, 
a couple of miles distant, and see from the battlements 
of Windsor Uastle the huge flag which indicates that the 



82 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

queen is there. We strain our eyes towards it, but the 
dashing train in a moment carries us out of sight, away 
across the Coin, into Middlesex, and the gardens grow 
smaller and more prolific, save where the elegant villas 
and pleasure-grounds vary the smooth landscape in the 
valley of the Brent. For several miles already the atmos- 
phere has become clouded, yet not with clouds. Soon the 
great city rises on the horizon, near, but seeming distant. 
The farms, and villas, and pleasure-grounds have dis- 
appeared. For miles and miles, dark brick houses are 
thick on either side. At last we slacken our speed, the 
train slowly comes to a halt, and while we are looking 
out upon the crowds of cabs and other vehicles, the 
guard opens the door and announces " Paddington." 




CHAPTER VIII. 




^REIVED at the Langham on Portland Place, 
a police officer met us before the vestibule, who, 
after taking down in a small book the number 
of our cab, asked if we had engaged rooms. 
We answered in the negative. 

" Better see if the 'ouse is full before you trouble to 
take down the loogage." 

I felt much embarrassed. 

"Oh, nonsense," said Jim, and walked in with the air 
of a proprietor. It was several minutes before he re- 
turned. 

"It's been a touch-and-go thing, Phil. The house, 
big as it is, runs over with Americans." We went in, 
and, after proper attentions at the lavatory and coffee- 
room, walked from the office through the long hall, 
surmounted at the extreme end with a statue of Shaks- 
peare. From this place, styled "the Poet's Corner," a door 
leads into the superb smoking-room. At the entrance of 
the latter was a small office about five feet square, in 
which were two young women, for all the world like 
those at Stratford, except that they were dressed in city 
fashion, and did not give any recognition of the fact of 
our arrival. Jim paused a moment in passing by the 
open window, prepared to receive in a becoming manner 
the cordial greeting he had evidently expected. But 

(83) 



81 TWO OKAY iTOtJRISTS, 

iliov looked at us only for a moment to see if we desired 
any service, and Immediately tnmed away. 

"A fine house, Phil." said he, after we had taken our 
seats, "and a tremendous big one. I Avas afraid for 
awhile that we could not get in. The fellow at the 
office said so in that many words, and said that we ought 
to have telegraphed him from Liverpool. I urged him, 
for goodness gracious sake, not to turn off a couple of 
old fellows, one of whom (meaning you. of course,) 
was a sort of invalid and very rich, who, neither of 
us knew a single man, woman, or child in the town, big 
as it was. I said we were a couple of Americans 
just traveling for amusement, and that they told us at 
home that when we got to London we must be sure to 
stop at the Langham Hotel, because it was the best in 
the town and had the very cleverest and most accommo- 
dating set of men. I did nt say fellows, fearing he 
might think I was a little too free at the start. The 
fellow, that red-headed one, looked at me a moment, and 
smiled, glanced over his book, and then said, that if we 
could put up with the Race-Way to-night, he could fix 
us up conveniently by to-morrow night. ' The Race- Way,' 
said I; 'you don't mean the stable?' That got him. 
He laughed right out, and* said that that was only a 
name given to a long sort of attic story that they made 
into rooms, with curtains between, when they were 
crowded as they are now. I told him all right, and 
so here we are. But this is a nice place," lie continued, 
looking around at the luxurious chairs, and sofas, and 
snug little tables, and the huge windows opening out 
above the street. "And those girls ! more style than the 
Stratford's, but not nigh so friendly ; they see so many 
more people, 1 suppose." 



TWO GRAY TOUKi-TH. So 

About twenty gentlemen were in the room — some 
quietly smoking, others sipping coffee or other drinks 
on the tables, and others writing. These reminded us 
to write letters home. At bed time we took the " lift," 
as they call the elevator, and after a tardy and appa- 
rently vast extent, and long perambulations afterwards, 
reached our quarters. 

" I don't know why they call this a Race- Way," Jim 
said, when we found ourselves behind a curtain and our 
heads touching the roof. "Let alone running, we can't 
even stand. We shall have to get on the floor to dress 
and undress. But they are nice, clean beds. All right." 

The next morning after breakfast, while I was look- 
ing over a map of the town, Jim, who had been to the 
office to arrange for a change of quarters, came into the 
smoking-room. 

"Phil, what's an 'ontraysole?' That fellow said he 
could give us a room on the ontraysole or the first floor, 
and gave me this paper to look over the prices, etc. 
I told him, that being old fellows we would prefer to be 
as low down as possible, and would probably take the 
first floor if it was'nt too expensive. He smiled, he did, 
and I come to see you about it ; but I can't find any 
such outlandish word here." 

I took the paper and pointed to the word entresol 

" The mischief! Ah, I suppose that's a French word 
they have brought over here. I know it is, because I never 
saw one of them that was pronounced like it was spelt. 
But look, will you ? I thought this was the first story. 
Instead of that, the first story don't begin until you get 
up above the — what ever you call it. You say so? 
Very well, we'll take the hie — the onthraysole. But I 
never expected to stay in a place of that name." 



86 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

Whoever has only about fourteen days in which to see 
Loudon must distribute and economize his time with 
great care. By so doing, it will surprise him to find 
how much more can be accomplished than by desultory 
visitations, as we found afterwards in comparing notes 
with other tourists. Jim and I studied the map thor- 
oughly in the first instance, and then we arranged, every 
night, our places for the next day's operations. Not 
that we were at all unanimous in our preferences ; but 
we had agreed to disagree whenever we pleased, each to 
visit such places as he should choose, when our tastes 
and dispositions did not coincide, and discuss, when we 
should meet again, what Ave had seen. "We were to keep 
together, however, for the first day, partly because we 
knew we should find quite enough objects for our joint 
inspection, and because Jim said he wanted me to get a 
little used to the place before he could consent to my 
starting off by myself. 

" I don't want to lose you over here, Phil, and have to 
advertise for you, you know." 

On the first morning we started out for a stroll, having 
"Westminster Abbey for our last objective point. Turn- 
ing the corner at "All Souls' " we took our way down 
Kegent street. 

" This is'nt. the street for us to trade in, Phil," said 
he, as we noticed the handsome shops on either side, 
into which, so early in the day, very few buyers were 
entering. " These stores are for folks with big money- 
bags ; they hav'nt come out yet, you see." 

Arrived at the foot of Piccadilly, I spoke of my long 
entertained wish to see the National Gallery of Paintings. 

" Yes," answered Jim, with a lazy sigh, " I knew it, 
although I should have thought you saw enough pic- 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 87 

tares at Warwick Castle. If it was'nt that I should' nt 
care about having to give a long list of reasons when I 
got back home why I did'nt take in such a place when 
I had the chance, I should'nt go in with you, but wait 
out here in this square until you got through. But lead 
on ; I'll try it for awhile." 

"Of course, you should see the National Gallery, Jim. 
There were some fine pictures at Warwick Castle ; but 
that was comparatively a very small collection." 

"Whee— oo!" 

" Whereas here, notwithstanding they have none from 
the Spanish, there are more than seven hundred works 
of the old masters." 

" Well, let's go in and pay the old fellows a call. 
Make it short, Phil. We are not much acquainted with 
'em, you know, and good manners would require a short 
visit." 

We entered the building, and passed hurriedly through 
the rooms. Jim regarded with considerable interest a 
few pictures which were specially striking in the exhi- 
bitions, either of great beauty in women, or great physi- 
cal power in men. After emerging, we sat down for a 
short rest in Trafalgar Square. 

" Bigger lions than them," said Jim, pointing to the 
immense bronzes at the foot of the Nelson Monument, 
" I should'nt ever desire to see, that is alive. It would 
take a sizable eagle to fly oif with one of those fellows, 
as our Fourth of July orators used to norate about 
before the war. But speaking of pictures, Phil, ain't 
there some humbug in this everlasting talk about 
the old masters, as they call 'em ? I've been hearing 
of them all my life, and often from people who, I am 
certain, knew about as little about 'em as I do. Such 



88 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

people have a sort of idea that these old masters, as you 
call 'em, were a set of old fellows that painted, and 
painted together a long time ago, in a sort of partner- 
ship, and left some things which nobody could under- 
stand, but which they thought was powerful smart, just 
because they coald'nt understand it, and then these old 
fellows died pretty much all together, and carried their 
secret with 'em. Now, all such as this strikes me as a 
piece of foolery. • But, were they so tremendous old?" 

He frowned in the intensity of his doubts. 

I answered his question ; he was astonished to hear 
that Eaphael was only twenty-seven at his death. 

" My goodness ! " said he, " I thought he was about a 
thousand." 

In answer to what I had to say about the preference 
of men of taste for the older pictures, on account of the 
prevalence of the ideal amongst them, and how this 
ideal in art had been made in great part to give way to 
the practical of trade and commerce, he asked : 

"And ain't the world better off for the change ? " 

" In some respects," I answered, " not in all. There 
is room enough in the world for other things besides 
trade. If a man is always at his work, or thinking 
about it, he will get to be a sort of machine himself, 
and, like all machines, will soon wear out. The ablest 
and most thoughtful of the men of trade understand this 
fact very well. They know into what a state the world 
would grow if there were nothing but trade and physical 
labor, and physical pleasures ; and so they build houses 
like this, and put in them these great pictures of olden 
times, and encourage modern artists to strive to produce 
others like them. The effect of such things is something 
like that of flowers, which you said were so helpful to 
the poor. What do you say to that ? " 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 89 

" You are about right, I suppose. My wife says that 
what few pictures we own have done the children much 
more good than the worth of the money they cost, and 
I'm sure that the music my boys and girls make at home 
make me feel younger, and perhaps be better than I 
should without it. You are right, Phil. They are all 
right. Let's go ahead." 

We walked along, and soon were in Charing Cross. 

" What do they call it that for ? You were to do the 
history part, you know." 

"Charing is the pronunciation the English common 
people gave to Chere Reine — dear queen. This was the 
place where the last halt was made while they were 
bearing the body of Queen Eleanour, wife of Edward the 
Eirst, to Westminster Abbey ; and here was the last of 
the nine crosses which her husband caused to be erected 
in her memory. It was taken down by the republicans 
under Cromwell, and the stones used in paving the 
street at Whitehall. But they paid for that desecration ; 
for at the very place where the cross stood, the regicides 
were beheaded. And here we are at old Whitehall, the 
royal residence of the monarchs from Henry VIII to 
William of Orange. In the latter's reign, all was burnt 
down except the Banqueting Hall, which is now used as 
a chapel. Just up yonder, where, you notice, the win- 
dow has been bricked over, Charles I was beheaded." 

"Do you suppose he had any idea of such as that 
when from that old tower at Chester he saw his army 
defeated?" 

" Hardly. He probably had no apprehension, what- 
ever else might happen, that they would take his life." 

" Well, what do you think of my poetry now ? It 
would'nt sound so bad here, eh ? " 

8* 



f) TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

"Not quite; but one would be more apt to think of it 
presently." 

We were walking slowly up Parliament street. 

" That's a fine statue," said Jim, just as we reached 
the head. ■ 

"A statue of the same king. It was sold by Parlia- 
ment to a brazier with orders to break it in pieces and 
apply it to other uses. But the buyer concealed it, and 
at the Restoration of Charles II, made a great profit by 
bringing it forth unhurt. But yonder is the place, 
Jim, for your poetry about princes and their beds of 
clay." Then we entered Westminster Abbey. 

Two hours we spent in the sacred edifice we had both 
so long desired to see. Silently and reverently we passed 
along its transepts, and aisles, and chapels, reading and 
musing upon the epitaphs of the great and the gifted 
who were buried there, or to whom, though buried else- 
where, cenotaphs were there erected. We paused not 
long in the chapels where was the dust of the long lines 
of kings and their offspring, but long enough to think 
how small places hold the relics of the generations of 
princes, Saxon, Norman, Plantagenet, Tudor, Stuart, 
and Brunswick, and yet have room for uncounted gene- 
rations to be brought there hereafter. The accidents of 
life had made them great. These other tombs and ceno- 
taphs outside the railings around the royal graves, 
these were they on which we looked the longest, and 
with solemnest emotions : statesmen and philanthropists, 
poets and orators, warriors, on land and sea, all of them 
heroes — some of gentle, but most of common blood. 
Never was my mind so impressed with ideas of the 
power of death, as, while standing amongst those mul- 
titudes of the tombs of the great. First and last, and 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 91 

longest we were in the Poet's Corner. In life, these 
almost, without exception, had not been great nor happy. 
Shakspeare, the lessee of Blackfriars and The Globe, 
who had patiently borne 

" The whips and scorns of time," 

and Chaucer in his old age, impoverished and humbly 
repentant ; and Spenser, first an exile on the Mulla, and 
afterwards a fugitive thence and finding death in a poor 
inn in his native city ; Dryden, bartering intellect for 
bread in Soho, leaving, when dead, not enough where- 
withal to pay the cost of being carried to the grave; 
Marlowe, struggling in vain with the ruffian for the 
love of the poor wench of Deptford; Goldsmith, the 
sizar of Trinity, and the many, many others ; some more 
fortunate, some less. How sweetly had they sung in 
their days, in spite of poverty, and neglect, and im- 
providence and 

"The spurns 
That patient merit of the unworthy takes." 

For, like the birds of song, they must sing, whether in 
prison or in fields and orchards. Their times of honor 
came latest, but they shall last longest. Shakespeare 
and Leicester, Spenser and Kaleigh, Dryden and Buck- 
ingham, Goldsmith and Newcastle. What, if both the 
premier and the poet could have foreseen the future ? 
It might have been well for one, but not for the other. 
Such singings could have been rendered only by the 
inspiration which comes from the seriousness of sorrow. 
Yet there is compensation in nature, and most benign it 
is that each prefers his own to another's lot. Achilles 



93 



TWO GRAY TO I EUST& 



would have boon Aohillos over again, and Tithonus 
would have boon Tithonus, though quick death snatched 
the hero in his bloom, and old ago. when it could not 
destroy, changed the bean into a grasshopper. 




CHAPTER IX, 




ELL," said Jim, after we had dined at a res- 
taurant, and strolling out again, passed 
the Bird-Cage walk and taken our seats be- 
neath a tree overshadowing the smooth lake 
in St. James' Park. " It's a grand, solemn, old place, 
that abbey, but cold ! Ain't it cold ? I tell you that 
way of burying don't suit me, Phil." 

" Why not ? " I asked, just to hear what he had to say, 
for I knew his sentiments, and in part shared them. 

"You remember, how they used to laugh at me 
when I was a child for being afraid of graveyards and 
dead people ? " 

"Very well. You were the scape-goat, Jim; for I 
was myself as weak in that respect as you were." 

" Well, sir," he continued, very gravely, " nobody in 
this world, not even my mother, who was as careful and 
tender of me as she could be, knew for some time what I 
suffered. In a country neighborhood, like the one we 
were raised in, deaths happen so seldom, that every one 
makes a stronger impression than in towns. I remem- 
ber that the first time I was ever in Augusta, and I was 
then sixteen years old, I saw a hearse going along the 
street, and I asked of a bystander, in a whisper, who it 
was that was dead, and was astonished and shocked to 
iind that he not only did'nt know, but did'nt seem to 

(93) 



94 TWO Gil AY T0U11ISTS. 

care, while the rest of the people went along and acted 
as if nothing uncommon had happened. In the country 
it's different. When anyone dies, everybody goes to the 
burying, and they talk about it for a long time after, 
and about other deaths they knew about, and tell of 
many things that happened, or were said to have hap- 
pened, some about people having been buried alive. 
The negroes in old times had tales to tell of ghosts, or 
"spew-its? as they called 'era. Such as these used to 
scare me nearly out of my life. I was tormented with 
the idea that they would think I was dead when I 
was'nt. I got so that if anybody held me down on the 
ground I was badly frightened, and had a feeling of 
suffocation, and thought of how it was going to be with 
me in the grave. You see, Phil, I could'nt ever realize 
that I should be dead. Well, my mother found out 
some of this, not all ; and she took a wonderful amount of 
pains with me, and always talked cheerfully about death. 
Then she was careful with our graveyard, had more 
trees and flowers planted in and around it, and used to 
talk about how these would die in the winter and come 
to life in the spring. Ever since then, I have had in 
my mind spring flowers joined with the resurrection of 
the dead ; and it always pains me to see a grave with 
no flowers around it, and especially where flowers could'nt 
grow if they were put there. The idea of death is 
not so sad to me when I think about my grave being 
in the open air, where my people, when I'm gone, can 
come sometimes and tend the flowers and listen to the 
birds singing over me. I've long ago quit being afraid 
simply of the grave, especially since I've put away 
some of my children — " 

He paused— for his words would have tailed him. 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 95 

"I agree with you fully, Jim," said I. "Time and 
reflection have subdued most of my early fears. When 
a boy, I used to be tormented with the very certainty of 
having to die at last, even if I should resist the perils of 
foregoing ages and survive to old age, horrified at the 
ideas of the mattock, and the spade, and the darkness, 
but — would you be young again, Jim?" 

He considered a moment. 

"No; not, by gracious, without Emily and the chil- 
dren could, too. No, sir, not a day. A man that has* 
been blest as I have, would be a rascal, if not a fool, to 
want any such thing." 

We rose, and wended our way into the' Mall, passing 
Marlborough House, St. James', and Buckingham Pal- 
aces into Green Park. 

" They don't seem to use old St. James' much these 
days. It looks dingy." 

"It has not been used much," said I, "except on spe- 
cial occasions, since George the Fourth, who gave it up 
for Buckingham Palace. But its rooms are so spacious 
that they hold great State occasions there. Many a gay 
season have those walls witnessed, beginning with 
Henry the Eighth." 

" Yes ; now was'nt he a lively old cuss, with his seven 
wives ? " 

On we went, into Green Park, turning to view Staf- 
ford, Spenser and Bridge water Houses. 

"As our guide book says, Jim, that pretty mansion 
with the bay windows belonged to the poet Kogers. 
Greater numbers of illustrious men and fine women 
have been entertained there than in any other private 
house in the world, it is probable." 

" I thought poets were always poor." 



96 TWO GHAY TOUlilSTS. 

"Generally they hare been; but lie was a wealthy 
banker." 

"That surprises me. Banking and poetry are two 
things that I should seldom suppose would go along 
together. Why not? Because one of 'em requires a 
man to have common sense, and the other, so far as I've 
seen, requires him to be without it. I don't know much 
about poetry, that's a fact, But poets seem to me to do 
exactly opposite to what bankers do. "While bankers go 
right straight ahead, they go all around and about, and 
have an immense amount of talk about nothing, or next 
to nothing. And then they have a way of running 
down money as if it was a thing too dirty for a man 
with clean hands to touch. Was he a married man ? '' 

"'No; bachelor." 

"Ah ha ! there it is now." 

"What is it?" 

" If he'd been a married man, he'd have stuck to one 
thing, banked, and let poetry go, or poeted, and let his 
wife make a living for both. I expect the old fellow 
met with an accident, as Joe Wiggins called it when 
Bettie Ehodes kicked him. I bet his sweetheart mar- 
ried a rich man, and he went to work to get money and 
make her sorry that she did'nt take him ; and then he 
went into poetry, just to keep up the idea that he was a 
badly treated man." 

" But for what purpose ? " 

" Eor what purpose ? Why, sir, to make people sorry 
for him ; or, if not that, to keep on being sorry for him- 
self. Have'nt you noticed, Phil, that most people want 
it to be believed that they've been badly treated ? It's 
so; and it's specially so with these poets, it seems to 
me ; and that's what makes 'em be so everlastingly talking 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 97 

about broken hearts, and blighted prospects, and com- 
paring themselves to withered leaves, and broken links, 
and dried-up springs, and pretending to want to die 
right away, and — all such. Yes, I thought he must be 
a bachelor." 

" But his was one of the healthiest minds that ever 
was." 

"Oh, he might have been healthy enough. I'm not 
talking about the old fellow's health. They are all of 
'em healthy enough, Phil, as to that, and can eat their 
allowance when they can get it ; but, I tell you, he met 
with an accident, or he never would have mixed up 
poetry with banking. Well, I'm thankful that he was 
liberal with his money. Many a poor fellow, I suppose, 
praised the old man's poetry and got a good dinner 
which he could'nt have had at home." 

"Shade of Rogers— " 

" Come, come now, Phil, don't you begin. You've 
got something of a hankering that way I know," and he 
punched me playfully. 

"We turned up Constitution Hill, the Palace Gardens 
on our left. To our right, men, women and children, 
and even numbers of sheep were walking, or lying 
on the green grass. It seemed the outskirts of a 
country town. The gardens on our left and the growth 
on the east, skirting Piccadilly, excluded the sight and 
almost the sound of the city. What a blessing such an 
open green space to the poor ; for we noticed that most 
of those whom we then saw were of this class. 

" Have you any pennies about you, Phil ? I'm out, 
and I hate to pass that poor woman without buying 
something from her." 

His pockets were then full of boxes of matches and 



98 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

such other trifling things as the poorest vend along the 
public walks. As we passed the woman, being without 
small change, he emptied his purchases into her basket 
and passed on. 

It is a sudden transition from Green to Hyde Park on 
a summer afternoon. Emerging through the west gate 
of the former, the multitudes in carriages, on horseback, 
and on foot that one sees pouring up Piccadilly, warn 
him that he is at the favorite resort of the middle and 
upper classes of London, and he knows that other mul- 
titudes are gathering along Park Lane and Oxford 
street. As we passed in view of Apsley House and the 
statue in honor of Wellington, Jim, looking at the latter, 
asked why they had put upon it such a costume, and 
being told, answered : 

" Well, they may compare him with Achilles, or any 
others of the Greeks and Komans ; but if it had'nt been 
for Blucher, Napoleon would have whipped him. How- 
ever, I like to see a people stand up to their own men. 
Even if I believed that there ever were two greater men 
than General Washington and General Lee, I should'nt 
think it was right to say so." 

We edged our way through the throngs, and passed 
under the arch into the enclosure. 

" You like live places, you say, Jim. Is this enough 
for you ? " 

"Plenty." 

Surely, no where on this earth is to be seen a fuller 
display of life in its abandon of business for the enjoy- 
ment of leisure. Thickest about Eotten Eow and the 
King, yet there seemed no place in the great enclosure of 
four hundred acres where there was not life in liveliest 
relish. Jim looked alternately upon the endless lines 



TWO GKAY TOUHISTS. 99 

of equipages, equestrians, and pedestrians with unabated 
delight; for although as little envious as any man I 
know either of the rich or the young, he had exquisite 
pleasure in the sight of enterprise and activity. We 
took our seats on one of the benches on the edge of Rotten 
Eow. He pulled out his watch, held it in his hands ten 
minutes, without saying a word. Suddenly he turned 
to me and said : 

" It beats the world. I have counted, in ten minutes, 
over four hundred carriages, just like that passing now 
with that elegant pair of greys, all the drivers grey 
headed and with fat legs. But they handle the reins 
better than those fellows over there on horseback. I can 
beat any of them I see riding. They don't seem to 
know how to sit on trotters, but gallop themselves 
while the horses are trotting." 

"And here's the Serpentine, as they call it. All this 
water is supplied by the Chelsea Company. Those 
houses are put up, they tell me, for taking care of 
people who happen to break through the ice here in 
winter time while skating." 

We advanced into the Kensington Road, strolled 
past Albert Hall and Albert Memorial, and entered 
Kensington Gardens. 

" No great shakes that old palace, Phil. I guess the 
queen don't stay here much." 

" Not at all. The Count and Countess of Teck reside 
here. The queen was born here, you know. Little 
thought her father, the Duke of Kent, then that she 
would ever be queen." 

"I suppose not. "No danger of her line giving out. 
They say there are about thirty of 'em already. There 
has never been much talk of her marrying again." 

l of a 



100 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

"I have no idea that she ever had any notion that 
way herself." 

" Sensible woman. At her time of life, with as many 
children as she has, nobody, woman or man, has any 
business marrying again. Too set in their ways. Well, 
she made a good wife and a happy one, and it was be- 
cause she married to suit herself. I believe in that 
strong, for high and low, rich and poor. Four hundred 
acres in this park ! and the map shows that Regent's, 
the biggest of 'em all, is not far off. No wonder London 
is the healthiest of all the big cities. See, here's a stretch 
of nearly three miles of open country from Westminster. 
Why don't our people in the United States learn some- 
thing of the importance of open places in the big towns, 
where the people can get some fresh air ? And that's 
the reason why I thought as I did about them con- 
founded old Chester walls — " 

"Jim," said I, "my notion is to ride home. I am 
tired of footing it. Here we are in the Uxbridge Road, 
the same as Oxford street." 

"All right. Hello, Hansom. To the Langham. 
Eighteen pence ? You know it is'nt over two miles; 
but go ahead. You look like a clever fellow. Quick ; 
my old friend here is tired, and I think a cup of 'arf- 
and-'arf would suit you ; so be quick, my lad." 

At the hotel that night an incident occurred which I 
do not believe that one of the parties interested in it can 
have forgotten. Among the acquaintances which my 
friend, whose qualities in that regard were more facile 
than mine, had made was a young American who pro- 
fessed to be from the State of Missouri. He, together 
with a companion, a youth of about his own age, had 
been sight seeing in London for a couple of weeks, and 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 101 

were purposing to leave the next day for the continent. 
While I was looking over the map, arranging my own 
plans for the morrow, Jim, who had announced his 
intention of going around generally, as he styled it, sat 
for some time and talked with* the young man, to whom 
he had taken, he said, a fancy, on account of his friendly 
ways. 

" It's so seldom you know, Phil, that one of these young 
fellows cares about having much to do with old fellows 
like us. He's been well raised." 

After a while, the young men rose and left the smok- 
ing-room. Jim then came to the table by which I was 
sitting, and, after inquiring, in his usual way, what old 
piece of furniture I was after next, said : 

" Phil, there's a place we must see together," pointing 
to a large building some distance beyond the continuing 
of Piccadilly into Coventry street. 

" Why, what do you mean, Jim ? That's the Argyle 
Booms."* 

"I know that; but that young fellow — and he's 
studied this town well, he says — he tells me that's the 
only place here where strangers can see, without regular 
introduction, the upper classes. Not that I care spe- 
cially about the upper classes, but I did think I would 
like to see some of 'em one time, just to notice how they 
carried themselves." 

I gave him a short account of this establishment. He 
sat for some time silent, then spoke : 

" I would'nt have believed it ; it is'nt often that I'm 
deceived in a man, but I suppose everybody is liable to 
be sometimes." 

We sat for an hour or so together, talking of what we 

* Here resort leading characters in the demi-monde. 
9* 



102 TWO GILAY TOURISTS. 

had seen. I noticed that he frequently looked to the 
door whenever any one entered, and twice, after excus- 
ing himself, he had gone to the great hall and returned. 
At ten o'clock I proposed to retire. Jim said he would'nt 
keep me up, but he thought he would'nt go just yet. I 
turned to the table, took a sheet of paper, and began to 
write. He sat smoking his cigar, and slowly patted his 
foot with his cane. After a few minutes he rose, and 
I noticed that the young men had returned. 

" Oh ! how are you ? " said the Missourian, addressing 
Jim. "Up yet? I supposed you had gone to bed. 
Glad to see you again. Been out ? " 

" No," said Jim, blandly " I've been waiting to see 
you once more, and tell you good-bye." 

" Oh, you are very kind." 

I folded my papers quickly. 

" Yes," continued Jim, smiling more and more, " you've 
been so kind to me since I've been here, and made me 
so many valuable suggestions that I've been thinking 
about you for a couple of hours; and as I knew you 
were going to leave to-morrow morning, and might get 
off before I could see you, I made up my mind not to 
go to bed until you came back " 

Then he shrugged his shoulders, and his face had 
the expression somewhat of a man who Avas about to sit 
down to a good dinner. The other seemed somewhat 
uncertain. 

" Let me ask you a question or two, my young friend. 
You are from Missouri, I think you said. Yes. Well, 
have you ever found out, either from your own acquaint- 
ance or from other people's telling you, where the best 
society is there, and what sort of people they are that 
make it?" 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 103 

" I don't understand yon, sir." 

" I see } r ou don't ; but I'm going to explain right away, 
for it's important to you." 

He spoke in low tones, and with his back turned 
towards the bar, where two of the girls sat. Then, 
taking up the map, he said : 

" You deceived me about the character of that place, 
sir." 

The young man smiled derisively. 

" What do you say, sir ? " asked Jim, very mildly. 

" I say that nobody but an old — " 

" Say that or anything like that any further, if you 
dare." 

Several gentlemen in the room, notwithstanding the 
low tones in which this conversation had been conducted, 
noticed that something unusual was going on, and they 
looked towards the disputants. One of the maids 
glanced out of her window for a moment, and then drew 
down the glass. Jim seemed as if he was just ready for 
his dinner. The other whispered with his companion, 
and patronizingly said : 

" You are too old a man, sir, for me to have a diffi- 
culty with." Then he was turning away, when Jim 
seized him by the arm and drew him facing. 

"No, sir, not quite yet; in a moment or so. Old 
man, indeed! I thought maybe you would apologize 
for your conduct; but that did'nt seem to suit your 
ideas of good society, and all you have to say is about 
your not wanting to have difficulties with old people. 
If I had been young, there would'nt have been any occa- 
sion for difficulties. You are not a man for difficulties 
with young or old, unless they are too old to take any 
care of themselves. Oh, you've got to stand here until 



104 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

I get through with you. /want no further difficulty 
with you, more than to tell you what I am telling you ; 
and if you change your mind, and think I'm not quite 
too old for you, and conclude to have a difficulty, look 
here; do you see that window? I'll take you up by the 
neck and breeches and drop you out there on the pave- 
ment. You took that liberty because I was, as you 
have no better manners than to call me, an old man, and 
you thought you would be safe in it. Young man, no 
man that thinks anything of himself or the people 
that bore him, would try to lead any other man, old or 
young, into places where the presumption is he would 
be sorry and ashamed to have been ; and when one does 
such a thing with me, I'm bound to tell him that he is 
not only a scamp, but a coward. Now, you can go. 
But be quiet about it. It depends entirely on how quiet 
you are, whether you go out at the door or there." 
Loosing him, he pointed to the window. The young 
man was livid with rage; but his companion, with the 
air of one bent on preventing a very dangerous person 
from doing great damage, led him away. "When they 
had reached the door, the Missourian turned suddenly 
round. Jim walked briskly towards him, shaking his 
left hand towards the bar in token of silence, and 
pointing with the thumb of his right backward omi- 
nously towards the window. They vanished without 
another word. 

"Served him right," exclaimed, but not loudly, a 
young man from the same State who was standing near, 
and the rest, young and old, echoed the sentiment. 

" Old man, indeed ! " said Jim, witji a tremulous 
laugh, "I could thrash out a cowpen full of such as 
him ; yes, a quarterly meeting of 'em. Now, Phil, I'm 
ready for bed," 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 105 

"I'm not" said I. "You've put me wide awake. 
My dear Jim, I'm afraid you have not considered how 
far the pavement is below that window, nor how hard 
it is." 

" That was'nt a part of my business." 

In five minutes after we got into bed, he was asleep. 




CHAPTER X 




HE following morning we went out each in 
pursuit of the objects he preferred to visit. 
To me, it was continuously interesting to travel 
over places of historic renown, lingering as 
long as possible at each, and having my reluctance at 
leaving it consoled in quick succession by the sight of 
another. I dismissed my cab at Somerset House. Al- 
though this massive, solid structure was now filled, 
for the most part, with government offices, yet I was 
fond to recur to the old palace which formerly occupied 
the same ground, where the great Protector for whom it 
was named, dwelt, and later, where the queens of the 
First and Second Charles held their courts. Here,I mused, 
began, under the brilliant Henrietta Maria, the revolu- 
tion in the literature of England, not less important 
than the political events which the introduction of 
foreign manners and tastes was destined to produce. 
As, in the days of the Conqueror, the proud Norman 
disdained the simple-minded Saxon, and sought for the 
native tongue of that people to substitute the polished 
language of the South, so now, that young gifted queen 
and her courtiers inaugurated, with Cowley and his like, 
that change which culminated in Dryden and Congreve, 
and Pope, and delayed for a hundred years the native Eng- 
lish growth. Leaving this place and strolling into the 

(106) 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 107 

Strand, to the left was the old Globe Theatre, in front the 
Church of St. Clement Danes, in whose yard lay Otway 
and Lea ; then into the Fleet — famous old Fleet, crowded 
from end to end with recollections of the work and the 
travail of men of letters. How heavy on them were the 
burthens of life, as, hungry, and thirsty, and ragged, 
they pleaded with book publishers and play managers 
for the purchase of those soiled and blotted manuscripts 
which were to delight the generations to follow ! Then 
to Temple Par, where many a king has waited for the 
bar and chains to be lowered before passing from West- 
minster upon the priviledged soil of the old city, and 
where many a dissevered head has hung on high tc 
show to the world how terrible is the vengeance oi 
princes. Turning to the right, I made my way to the 
Temple. Eight hundred years ago ! How brave, how 
powerful those old knights ! In this church, so fault- 
less in its Norman architecture, they worshipped. How 
different they from these Benchers of the Middle and 
Inner ! Yet other names besides those of knights and 
benchers are here. On that plain, marble slab in the 
churchyard, close to the choir, are these words : " Here 
lies the body of Oliver Goldsmith." Near that gate once 
resided Samuel Johnson. How often these two, the 
strong man and the weak, trod these places together ; 
the one so helpless from the absence of all self-reliance, 
the other so imperious from the remembrance of the 
things over which, without help or sympathy, he had 
triumphed ! The one fearing, yet relying upon the other, 
and that other contemning but protecting him, suspect- 
ing yet not fully knowing how great was he. How little 
either could foresee their posthumous relationship! I 
wonder what each thought of the comparative worth of 



108 TWO GKAY TOURISTS. 

Rasselas and the Vicar of Wakefield ; of London and the 
Traveller ; of Irene, and She Stoops to Conquer. In this 
lovely garden, doubtless, many a time on summer even- 
ings they sat down together and talked, scolding and 
pleading, yet never thinking of parting from each other 
for good: — not until the harmless quack should doctor 
himself to death, and be laid away in this churchyard. 

In these gardens also, Shakspeare had often sat and 
meditated. Yonder, among that plantation of rose trees, 
York and Lancaster plucked the badges preparatory to 
the wars of thirty years. Along these walks the great 
of earth — princes, statesmen, warriors, poets, judges, 
philosophers — have strolled for longer time and in 
greater numbers than on any other grounds of equal 
limits and similar purposes in Christendom. Not that 
the poets in the olden times were often there before 
nightfall. For their apparel was ragged, and, in spite 
of these, the bailiffs were watchful. Yet Whitefriars 
was not far away with the protecting Alsatia, from 
which, but not too far from which, they and the thieves 
might steal in the darkness to the sweet arbors and 
smell the flowers and balmy evening air. 

Back to the Fleet. There is St. Dunstan's, famous 
for the wooden giants long removed, and now striking 
the hours for the Marquis of Hertfordshire in Regent's 
Park ; before me, to the right, the beautiful spire of St. 
Bride's, the masterpiece of Sir Christopher. In the 
churchyard lie Milton and Butler ; how near each other 
now, how far apart when alive ! Wynkin de Worde lies 
here also. In Shoe Lane, hard by, dwelt Ben Jonson ; 
and in the workhouse graveyard was buried Chatterton. 
Not far off Dryden once dwelt, but afterwards in Soho, 
where he died, In the Blue Ball Court lived Richard- 



TWO GEAY TOUKISTS. 109 

son ; in Bolt street died Johnson. I passed on to Lud« 
gate Hill, where was the city-gate of King Lud long 
before the days of Caesar ; thence to Newgate and the 
Old Bailey. What a book it would be that should chron- 
icle all the sufferings that have been endured here! 
There were yet the notches in the stones on which the 
gallows was erected ; and yonder St. Sepulchre's, from 
whose steps the nosegay was extended to the doomed, 
and whose bell tolled the funeral knell. 

Another flood of historic recollections met me as, 
turning again, I found myself in St. Paul's church- 
yard. Boman, Briton, Pagan and Christian worshipped 
and suffered within this semicircle of the "Bow and 
String." The great Diana once had a temple here. 
Here was one of the fires with which Diocletian the 
slave ravaged the Christian world. A little later an- 
other sprang up on the ruins, which, in its turn, fell 
before the Saxon in the reign of Constantine. And yet 
another was built by the pious hands of Ethelbert of 
Kent. Then, after other sequences of overthrows, 
there rose this majestic structure, destined to immor- 
talize its builder, and be one of the wonders of the 
world. I entered, and as I cast my eyes up to the vast 
concave, it seemed to be the most fitting of all places I 
had yet seen for the worship of the King of Kings. I 
ascended first to the Whispering Gallery and afterwards 
stood upon the high parapet around the dome and 
looked upon the pigmies in the street below. What 
varying scenes have been enacted in the thorough- 
fares along this lofty pile. The history of the British 
drama is most intimately associated with St. Paul's. 
Merry times had the ecclesiastics there, when return- 
ing from the Council of Constance they brought back 
10 



110 TWO GllAY TOUltfSTS. 

from the East the Mysteries and Miracle Plays. What 
a droll budget of religious fnn was that Sacred Comedy, 
in which our arch enemy was whipped, and pinched, 
and knocked down, and trampled upon, amid the roars 
of laughter which this pious frolicking would evoke. 
Such scenes must in time be removed from the precincts 
of the House of God to the universities ; but the mer- 
chandizing will go on around the churchyard until 
now, when even strangers can notice that the bargains 
offered are suspiciously cheap and the shopkeepers too 
eagerly solicitous. 

Having to meet my friend for a joint visit to the 
Tower, I called a cab and drove rapidly on Cannon, East 
Cheap, and Lombard streets, stopping once on the way 
to look upon that other notable work of Wren — the 
Monument — a splendid Doric column of fluted Portland 
stone; a memento, not only of the fire of 1666, but of 
the folly and madness which attributed it to the Catholics. 
The great Protestant city, in the consciousness of its 
security against all assaults except those of the devil, 
and believing this calamity to be due to his machina- 
tions, in the absence of the power to avenge itself on 
him, could at least erect this lofty column, place upon 
it a burning urn, and record upon the plinth its angry 
protest against the Antichrist who had stimulated his 
followers to the perpetration of that horrible crime. 
Removed under James II, restored under William of 
Orange, it was made to disappear finally under the mild 
reign of William IV. 

Punctually to the hour of appointment, Jim and I 
met at the Tower Gate. 

" You look tired and serious, Phil, like a man that's 
been to a burying. Seen any old priories to-day ? " 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. Ill 

« Not exactly." 

"Where they used to be, I suppose. Well, while 
you ve been rummaging about among the dead, I've been 
mixing with the living ; for this big town has a plenty 
of both. You do look tired. It is'nt quite dinner time 
yet; but had'nt we better fall in around here some- 
where and get it before going into this old concern. I'll 
bet you have'nt had even any lunch." 

" No, indeed. I have'nt had time to think about it ; 
but it will be too late to see the Tower after dinner." 

"All right. I've had my lunch punctually at twelve. 
I tell you this English beer grows on a fellow. I don't 
think a glass would hurt me now, and I know one would 
do you good. We've got ten minutes. That fancy- 
dressed old chap there, the keeper tells me, is waiting 
for the half hour to be out, to start with a new batch of 
visitors. I don't know how you feel," he continued, 
after we had taken the beer, " but you look better. You 
see, old gentleman, that a man has to take something in 
his stomach occasionally, even while he is working in 
old graveyards. Now for the beef-eater * as they call 
him." 

Solemn as the place was in its recollections of the suf- 
ferings of ages, yet Jim, and so did I, thought they were 
needlessly magnified by the measured sepulchral tones 
of the guide. 

" Did you ever," Jim whispered, " hear such a solemn 
old customer ? That fellow's in debt, or lost his wife, or 
been henpecked, or had his house burnt up, or had no 
beef for his dinner to-day, or don't expect any. Upon 
my word, he makes me feel like I had been confined 

* Buffetiers are so named those who conduct visitors through the 
Tower. 



112 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

here myself twenty years or such a matter. Besides, I 
don't understand hal f that he says." 

"He is a hiffctier, you know, Jim, and your mind is 
apt to become a little confused when it gets upon the 
bvffet. Can't you ask him to repeat, as you did the 
woman at Warwick ? " 

"Not if I know myself. Not an extra syllable would 
I wish .to hear of that sort of talk. I suppose that 
being here so long, he's got to be like the place.*' 

It required about an hour to make the regular circuit. 
When we emerged, Jim took off his hat, and looking 
back at the ancient fortress, announced that he had seen 
it one time. Then we took a hansom and rode to a res- 
taurant on the Poultry. 

" Things are even nicer here than we had yesterday, 
Phil. Let's just one time get a square dinner, and talk 
it all over. We've done a big clay's work, and we want 
some rest, and then it will make us feel rich to be dining 
down here among the big merchants and imagine we 
own a big store apiece on Cheapside, or Leadenhall, or 
Threadneedle, or Bishopgate, or some other of these out- 
landish named streets. Now ain't it curious, into what 
a small bulk great riches may be pressed when you 
put 'em into jewels? Why a fellow could carry all 
those crown -jewels we saw just now in a tolerable sized 
basket. It gives me a sort of contempt for money when 
I see so much of it in such a small lump. What pleased 
me most of all I saw in that old Tower, was old Queen 
Elizabeth, standing there in the Spanish Armory with 
the same clothes she wore when she spoke to her army 
at Tilbury. The old lady was on her metal that day, 
sure. You don't suppose she meant what she said about 
going herself to fight the Spaniards?" 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 113 

"I should'nt be surprised. She was a woman of a 
mighty spirit, and then she had a glorious precedent in 
one of her predecessors, Queen Boadicea. But what 
interested me most was the room in which Raleigh 
languished and wrote his history." 

"I can't see how any man, no matter how good a 
writer he might be, could make a book in such a place 
as that." 

"Ah ! there lies the interest. I know of nothing in 
the history of literature so melancholy. The gayest, 
cheeriest, brightest, most gallant of all knights, the 
great discoverer, the sweet poet, the Shepherd of Ocean, 
as his friend Spenser called him, to languish in that 
prison, without guilt, from manhood to old age by order 
of the meanest of kings, while his wife, on the hill just 
outside the walls, mourned with her son their captive 
husband and father ! What must such a man do in his 
captivity with that mind so active, so generous? He 
can only write. He must write — not poetry: for the 
pipe of the Shepherd has been broken and he must see 
ocean's billows, or even green fields and restful shades 
no more. Therefore, he will delude some of the loneli- 
ness of captivity by writing history. And a history of 
what ? Not of England, or of France, or of Germany, 
or his own Orinoco; or of the Roman Empire, or of 
Europe. No. Such a history might be finished in his 
lifetime, and leave him unemployed. Therefore he will 
undertake a work that never can be completed, in the 
midst of which he will be able to look ever forward to 
a goal. So he takes the history of the world! His 
mind, untrammeled, began away back in the Golden 
Age, remote from the times of Tudor and Stuart, and 
wandered over the historic fields of Asia. He had 
barely crossed the Bosphorus and the Aegean, and was 



114 IWO UK AY TOURISTS. 

narrating the deeds off the Macedonian Empire when 
the doors of his prison were opened, and the historian 
Mas carried, with the block and the axe, to the summit 

of Tower Hill." 

-That stopped that business. Oh, those old kings! 
I suppose, when Anne Boleyn's time came, they thought 
it would 'nt do to cut off her head where other people's 
had been, and they had it done there in the court. 
How do yon suppose old Queen Elizabeth felt when 
she would go near that place?" 

u She never went there. With her, the Tower ceased 
altogether to be used as a royal residence." 

" She showed 'em though that Anne Boleyn's daughter 
could hold her own with the best of 'em in cutting off 
heads. They say the poor old woman died a horrible 
death. She had better died along with her mother." 

''Indeed, she had. That death-bed was the mosi 
tragic in the history of princes." 

AVe rose from dinner and strolled leisurely amongst 
the dense throngs in Lombard, Cornhill, and Bishops- 
gate, along by old Crosby Place. 

"The idea that Crosby Place/' I said, "so connected 
in renown with the Yorks and the AVarwicks should 
become a restaurant." 

" Crosby Place ? Crosby Place ? I remember it now. 
It was where Anne of Warwick was to meet King 
Richard. I can quote some of his words : 

That it may please you leave these sad designs 
To him that hath most cause to be a mourner, 
And presently repair to Crosby Place, 
Where, after I have solemnly interred 
At Ohertsey monastery this noble kin.ix. 
And wet his grave with my repentant tears, 
1 will with all expedient duty see you. 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 115 

He got her, but he did'nt keep her long, as he said he 
would'nt. A restaurant, eh ? That's not so bad. Times 
have changed. The main business of those old times 
seems to have been to find out the most effectual ways 
of killing people in order to put up and put down kings. 
Now, it is how to let people live longer and more com- 
fortably by giving them better houses, better clothes, 
and better victuals. So, I say, go it, Crosby. Set the 
best dinners you can ; you are in much better business 
taking in people to feed 'em than having young widows 
moping about and being courted by the assassins of 
their husbands. Ain't it so, old man?" 

"I give it up." 

"Well, let's go on." 

On to Lothebury, where Founder's Court suggests the 
great copper foundries that had to give way to banking 
houses; across Moorgate into Gresham; to Guildhall. 
Here we entered for a few moments. They were taking 
up the carpets from the great hall in which a State 
dinner was lately had. There were Gog and Magog, 
" two more unlikely old cusses," Jim said, " he should 
seldom, etc." We looked admiringly upon the statues 
of the two Pitts and Mayor Beckford. 

" See what a brave man, Jim, can say to a king when 
the right of petition is denied : ' Permit me, sire, farther 
to observe, that whoever has already dared, or shall 
hereafter endeavor, by false insinuations and suggestions, 
to alienate your majesty's affections from your loyal sub- 
jects in general, and from the city of London in par- 
ticular, and to withdraw your confidence in, and regard 
for your people, is an enemy to your majesty's person 
and family, a violator of the public peace, and a betrayer 
of our happy constitution, as it was established at the 
glorious and necessary revolution." 



116 TWO GKAY TOtTRi&TS. 

"That was the way to talk it," said Jim. " It was 
that sort of pluck that brought these old kings down 
after a time, and learned 'em to be reasonable. And 
now, I'm for going back to the Langham. I'm tired. 
Besides, I've got my head full of more things than I 
shall ever remember the half of." 

"Well, let's just go down King street into Cheapside 
and look at Bow Church for a moment, and then we'll 
take a cab." 

"Are you going inside? No? I will go with you,- 
then. This Cheapside is about the busiest street we've 
seen." 

" It is the most crowded street in London, perhaps in 
the world. It was the northern boundary of the city in 
the time of the Romans. Long afterwards were held 
here the tournaments in the time of the Edwards. 
Here also was another of the "nine crosses which Edward 
erected for the "dear queen." Like that of Charing Cross, 
it was torn down by the regicides. Cheapside is now 
the centre of the retail trade. And, now, we are in the 
centre of cockneydom. There is Bow Church." 

"A good-looking building, and a capital steeple. How 
old is it?" 

"About the age of St. Paul's. It has the best chime 
of bells, they say, in London." 

" I hope they won't sound 'em till I get away. That's 
a music I don't fancy. Why do they call those cockneys 
that live within the sound of the Bow bells ? " 

"Cockney was a name of reproach that outsiders 
gave to city people, on account of their luxurious and 
effeminate habits. It geems now to apply only to those 
who know little except city matters, and believe none 
others are worth knowing." 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. lit 

As we passed slowly along in the cab, I pointed out 
the Old Bailey and St. Sepulchre's. 

"A curious name," said he, " for a church whose bell 
tolls while they are hanging folks. From the looks of 
both of 'em, the church and the gaol, I should say that 
both of those things had been going on some time. Do 
you know, Phil, I hate the very looks of a gaol ? " 

" That's not uncommon with some people." 

" Oh, I don't mean that I'm much afraid of 'em for 
my own sake; although along towards the last of the 
war, when they were getting so fond of grabbing up 
people, I did'nt know what might become of me when 
those little enrolling and impressment officers might get 
a little more audacious. But I hate the looks of gaols 
for other people. My opinion is, that the keeping a 
man in a place like that a long time does him more harm 
than good. You see how it has been since imprison- 
ment for debt has been stopped. In old times people 
could'nt pay their debts while they lay in gaols, and 
when they got out, they would'nt. They do so now 
more punctually and honestly than before. As for close 
confinement for crimes, that, nine times in ten, makes 
men worse. I've noticed that all my life." 

« Why what else could society do with criminals who, 
not bad enough for hanging, should go without confine- 
ment?" 

"Whip 'em, my gracious! whip 'em for small crimes, 
and drive 'em out of the country for great ones, with 
the understanding if they come back within a certain 
time and are caught, they shall be hung." 

" Moving them, eh ? What about other communities ? 
Such people, according to your plan, would be coming- 
in as well as going out." 



118 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

"Thill's so, and in that way every poor fellow would 
have a chance to improve himself by getting into a new 
community. I tell you, Phil, that the punishment that 
people dread more than anything else, except death, is 
to be driven away out of their native and regular beats, 
and — hello! I know where I am now. I've been all 
over this region to-day. This is the Holborn Viaduct. 
While you've been prowling around among the insides 
of those old temples and houses and things, I've been 
studying the modern improvements. When I get a 
chance at you, I'm going to make you understand, 
whether you will or not, something about the great 
works that are in this town. Now, here's this Holborn 
Viaduct," and he proceeded with the account, which I 
foresaw was to be an extended one. He was telling how, 
just below where we were then, the old Fleet Ditch, 
once a stream between Holborn and the Hill, used 
to run, and how the Fleet Ditch water was supplied, and 
what a nuisance both of them used to be. " Hold on, 
Jim," said I, " a minute. There's Lincoln's Inn Fields, 
where the Chancellor and Vice -Chancellor hold their 
courts. Over to the right is Gray's Inn, and just beyond 
Lincoln's Inn is the College of Surgeons." 

" Drive up, coachman, let's get out of this neighbor- 
hood as soon as possible." 



CHAPTER XI, 




HE next couple of days were spent similarly 
to the last. While I visited places of historic 
interest, Jim busied himself with studying 
the great public works and manufactories 
taking an occasional ride on the omnibuses through- 
out a part of their lines. We met for dinner at some 
convenient place, and afterwards repaired, the first day, 
to Victoria Park, and the second to the Zoological 
Gardens. On the Saturday morning after our arrival, 
we concluded to take an excursion to Windsor. A ride 
of a few minutes carried us* to. the ancient town. As 
the queen was sojourning there, we could see only the 
portions separated from the apartments occupied by 
the royal family. 

" The castle is about as big as the town," said Jim. 
A It is supported mainly by visitors who come here, they 
say. How old is the castle ? old enough for you ? " 

"Yes, indeed; the Saxon kings resided here long 
before the Norman Conquest. But their palace was 
pulled down, and William the Conqueror began the 
erection of the present one." 

"Well, I think it looks well for 'em to give their 
queen-bee a big establishment. She is the head of the 
whole, and such an institution makes her look greater 
to the world. More than that, she's a good woman, 

(119) 



120 TWO GEAY TOUEISTS. 

married young the man she loved, was true to him, had 
a heap of children by him, and when he died, behaved 
like a sensible widow, and stayed single." 

We entered through the gate next to the town, and 
merely glancing at the chapel, ascended the royal stair- 
case which led to the summit of John's Tower. The view 
from this, we enjoyed much. Below us, across the 
Thames, was Eton College, where, since the days of 
Henry VI, so many of the sons of the nobility and 
gentry, afterwards become illustrious, received their 
preparatory education. Lifting our eyes, we could 
descry Stoke-Pogis, and to its right, Harrow, another of 
the great schools of England. There, thinking of the 
past history of the tower, my mind vividly recalled that 
royal poet, James of Scotland, who, while listening to 
the nightingale singing in a juniper tree in the garden 
below, soothed his captivity by musing and writing thus 
of his love, the beautiful Joana Beaufort. I repeated 
the lines. 



" Now was there made fast by the Toures wall, 
A garden faire, and in the corners set, 
Ane herber green, with wandes long and small, 
Railed about ; and so with trees set 
Was all the place, and hawthorne hedges knit 
That life was none walking there forby 
That might within scarce any wight espy. 



So thick the bewes, and the leaves green 
Beshaded all the alleys that there were, 
And middes every herber might be seen 
The sharpe, greene, sweete juniper, 
Growing so fair with branches here and th«re, 
That as it seemed to a life without 
The bewes spread the herber all about. 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 121 



And on the smale greene twistes sate 
The little sweete nightingale and sung 
So loud and clear the hymnes consecrate 
Of love's use, now soft and loud among, 
That all the garden and the walles rung 
Right of their song, and on the couple next 
Of their sweet harmony, and lo, the text. 

IV. 

Worshippe ye that lovers been, this May, 
For of your bliss the kalends are begun. 
And sing with us, Away, Winter, away, 
Come Summer, come, the sweet season and sun. 
Awake for shame, that have your heavens won, 
And amorously lift up your headdes all ; 
Hark Love, that list you to his mercy, call." 

"What little I could understand of that sounded 
moderate But no more than about half of it was Eng- 
lish, eh?" 

"All of it was English: old English. That is very 
sweet, Jim. It has been greatly admired as well as very 
much more that he wrote of the same sort ; for he was a 
captive here eighteen years." 

" Did he get the girl at last ? " 

"Yes." 

" Well, women, so you praise 'em, it makes not much 
difference what foolishness you talk." 

We descended, and went through the royal mews. 

"And horses and carriages according," said Jim. "The 
widow keeps a full team certain. So-so, Flora (patting 
gently the queen's favorite riding pony), carriage-horses, 
barouche-horses, phaeton-horses, buggy-horses, saddle- 
horses, and ponies. Grey seems to be the favorite color 
here; mine, too, next to chestnut sorrel." 
11 



122 TWO GEAY TOUKISTS. 

Emerging from the castle, we took a carriage, and 
drove upon the Long Walk, in the shade of those 
magnificent elms planted two hundred years ago by 
Charles II, by Frogmore, the equestrian statue of George 
IV, towards Windsor Forest." 

"Hearn's oak ! " exclaimed Jim, when we had reached 
it. " Here those Windsor wives had their final settle- 
ment with old Jack. Was'nt that Ford a fool? Still 
that wife of his was, for a married woman, right sassy. 
And Shakspeare wrote that just to oblige the queen, 
who wanted to see old Jack in love ? Fine, genteel set, 
those ladies must have been, sitting up there laughing at 
such talk and such carryings on generally." 

Without going on to Virginia water, we took the first 
turning and drove around by Datchett's, thus making a 
semi-circle of the castle. Returning by the famous Dat- 
chett's Mead, Jim again apostrophized the knight. 

" Poor, dear old Jack ! they were too many for him, 
were'nt they ? But he was slow to take a hint certain, 
and give up the chase. I should have thought that- 
after coming out of the river alive, and that buck basket 
to boot, he would have concluded it was a lost ball. 
But he had to be beat half to death afterwards, and 
pinched all over before he could come to his senses. 
And not to know that he was'nt the beau for that sort 
of business. Haven't you noticed, Phil, that men who 
are the quickest to take up the notion that women are dead 
in love with 'em, have the least showing for such notion, 
and are the easiest flattered and made fools of ? " 

" Often. That's the compensation which nature be- 
stows, or which they make for themselves in the absence 
of pleasing qualities. None but the abject like to feel 
that they are objects of disgust or commiseration. Men 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 123 

ignore their own infirmities, and by frequent endeavors 
to induce others to regard them as advantages, learn in 
time to do so themselves Thus it is, I think, that such 
weaknesses become sometimes well compensated. Ignor- 
ance of their existence keeps down envy, which, after 
remorse, is probably the most painful emotion of the 
human heart. We seldom meet a person, who, whatever 
little he may have to brag about, does not believe that 
little better than what other people have of the same 
sort, and simply because it is his." 

"No doubt about that. I know a case in point. 
There's Jim Hester ; you remember him ? " 

"Very well." 

"You know what a clever, good-natured, good-for- 
nothing fellow he was. Well, low down as old Jim 
went, after his father and mother died, who had kept 
him up, he had a notion that in spite of his laziness and 
poverty and general good-for-nothingness, he was still 
holding up tolerably well. His brother in-law, Dave 
Towns, let him live with him, you know. Dave fed him, 
but he told him he must get his clothes for himself. 
Jim got pretty seedy in time, and at last he wore out his 
last coat. This made him stay more about home than 
he used to; but it didn't pliase his good humor. I 
never shall forget a remark he made to me one morning. 
It was before the war, and before I had quit fox-hunting. 
It was a mighty frosty morning. As my hounds were 
running near Dave Towns' house, old Jim came out on 
one of the plough-horses without any coat on, and joined 
in the race! ' Hello, Jim,' says I, 'good morning; 
pretty cold morning to be without your coat, aint it ? ' 
I wish yon could have seen him smile, as he opened his 
shirt, and showed another underneath. < Major Rawls/ 



124 TWO GEAY TOURISTS. 

said he, ' haint you never found out that two shirts and 
a westcot is the warmest dress a man can war ? ' And 
then he looked as if he had me where it wasn't any use 
to try to get away. What do you think of that ? " 

"A capital illustration. Jim believed what he said, 
or, what was better, he thought you did: this com- 
pensated for the want of a coat, and served to subdue 
his shame for not owning one. When conceit takes that 
shape, it does no harm. Jim Hester was a philosopher 
without knowing it." 

" He was that, or something, certain ; and so it was 
with old Jack. He had carried that mountain of flesh 
so long, that he at last, not only got reconciled to it, but 
believed it becoming, and that it made him a woman- 
killer, until at last the prince, now become king, threw 
him overboard. That undeceived him, and killed his 
heart. It was a mean thing in the king to do it. He 
might have given the old fellow some little office or 
other that would have kept him from breaking com- 
pletely down. I don't believe in anybody getting too 
good all of a sudden, and dropping old companions." 

Hastening back to the city, we took a cab for Hampton 
Court. Lingering for a short visit at Kensington 
Museum, in about an hour's time we were at Kew, once 
the favorite residence of George III. In a not preten- 
tious palace on one side of the green, then resided a 
prince and princess of the blood royal. The view from 
the corner of the green next the gardens is very pleas- 
ing. The mansions seen through the trees overshadow- 
ing its borders, and the church standing diagonally 
across, make an agreeable picture. 

" There's the everlasting photographer," said Jim, as 
we stopped near the gate. " We are getting too old to 
keep up that foolishness, eh ? " 



TWO GRAY TOUKISTS. 125 

But the man and the woman who worked with him 
were so solicitous, and we saw that in the fine sunlight 
they executed with such dispatch, that we concluded to 
stand. 

"I see," said Jim, after he had finished with us, 
" that you have improved by travelling in good company, 
and putting on new clothes and a London hat." 

We walked through these gardens, probably the most 
extensive and various in the world. Jim was especially 
interested in the Palm House, with its enormous collec- 
tion of evergreens from all countries. In spite of the 
oppressive heat therein, we mounted the stair-case to 
the galleries in order to get a better view of the lofty 
trees as they towered on high with the same freedom 
and pride as if they were standing upon their native 
plains. After strolling through the conservatories and 
amidst the flower beds and plantations, and the winding 
walks, overshadowed with stately forest trees and ex- 
tending down to the river, we sat down to rest awhile 
beneath a spreading fir. 

" Nothing," said Jim, " that I have seen since I left 
home has made me wish to have Emily with me as these 
gardens. I do wish she could see them. She would 
enjoy them. The mischief with me is I never can 
remember how such things look so as to describe them 
afterwards. But, I'll tell you one thing, Phil, I have'nt 
seen any roses over here that are prettier than her's, nor 
any greater variety. That will be a consolation to her 
when I tell her so. Somehow, flowers, when I'm away 
from home, make me think of her more than anything 
else does, especially roses. Its always been so. Oh! 
Come, let's go on." 

A few minutes drive, on leaving Kew, brought us to 
Richmond. n* 



L26 two i.K.VY TOURISTS, 

"Aii aristocratic town I take this," ho said, as, after 
stopping at t ho Star and Garter and ordering dinner, we 
strolled out for a short walk, and looked upon the 
splendid villas in the outskirts. e< You notice that, like 
Hyde Park, no cabs can enter this. But for our walk 
at Kew and the want of time, I should like to go down 
into that deep shade yonder. Richmond? Richmond? 
Why, old Queen Elizabeth died in Richmond, did'nt 
she?" 

" Yes, the town takes it's name from her grandfather, 
Henry YII, who. you remember, was the Karl of Rich- 
mond, This has always been a favorite resort for the 
aristocracy. See what a splendid view there is here." 

"This is a great country for the rich, Phil. It does 
look like it was made and laid oft* for rich people. 
These magnificent views, and parks with shade-trees and 
deer. As for poor people, they seem right well in the 
country, such as I've seen ; but those in the big towns 
are of another sort. They are the poorest and the 
worst-looking in London that ever I saw or ever imag- 
ined to be in the world. Yesterday, I took a notion to 
roam about among some of the poorest parts of the 
town. I rode around old Whitechapel and places like 
that ; I forget the names o( the streets. I was glad at 
last to get away. They looked not only poorer than 
I had ever dreamed o\\ but they looked savage, men 
and women. They stared at me as if they had a notion 
of dragging me out of the carriage and mobbing me 
for haying on good clothes. The driver laughed 
when 1 told him 1 had had enough, and he said T 
had'nt seen anything yet; but that to see the worst I 
would have to take a policeman along with me. I 
stopped once out there, near Whitechapel, at a court- 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 127 

house. In a little room, not twenty-feet square, they 
were trying one woman for cutting another with a 
case-knife. There were the judge's seat, high up like 
an old-fashioned pulpit, the lawyers' benches and jury's, 
a prisoner's box, and room enough besides for about a 
dozen or fifteen others. I gave the officer at the door a 
little piece of money, and he let me in and set me right 
down by the prisoner's box. Of all the court-rooms 
that ever I saw, that was the smallest, and of all crowds, 
they were the hardest-looking, except the lawyers and 
the judge. With their wigs and gowns, a body could'nt 
say what sort of clothes they had underneath, nor whether 
they were poor or rich. The judge was a man of sense 
though, and seemed to understand the law and the sort 
of people he was dealing with. He as good as told the 
jury that he believed that what most of the witnesses, 
except one little boy, had testified to, was a pack of lies, 
especially as they (all except the boy being women) 
were drunk when the fight occurred. I don't know how 
they found. When the judge's charge was done, I left, 
and I told the driver to bring me back into the white 
settlements. That was about four miles the other side 
of the Langham, and nowhere near that end of the 
town. The truth is, if we were to count this London 
{is we count towns in our country by keeping on count- 
ing until the stores and dwelling houses stop, there's no 
telling where the everlasting place does end. What are 
you laughing at ? " 

"I was amused at the discursive ways your mind and 
yoir- talk were taking. You have sadly mixed up the 
aristocracy and the poor, Kichmond and London." 

"Jdid'nt mix 'em; they mixed themselves. There's 
more mixing up of people and towns in this country 



128 TWO GEAY TOUEISTS. 

than anywhere else on top of the ground. London city 
proper, you know, is rather a small concern. I did'nt 
know that until I got here and found people talking 
about Bishopgate without and Bishopgate within. 
London city ends on the west at Temple Bar and on the 
east at Ludgate Hill, and it has something of a distinct 
government of its own. And there's even in that centre 
a plenty of poverty along with all the riches. The two 
extremes of uncountable money and un-something-ed — ■ 
I don't know what word to find for it — poverty have 
come together here in this London town and go on side 
by side. Now, not that there isn't a very large majority 
of people in moderate circumstances, as, of course, there 
is everywhere. Three-fourths of the tax paying people 
here live on incomes of less than three hundred pounds. 
Yes, sir, things are mixed over here. In our country, 
when you get out of a town you are out. But with this 
Babylon of a London, when you've been travelling along 
for hours and see scarcely a particle of change, they tell 
you you're eight or ten miles outside of it, and been 
through half a dozen other towns besides. But you 
make me do pretty nigh all the talking, while you are 
everlastingly looking over your books and maps trying 
to find some new old thing or another. What's that 
you are spying out now ? " 

"Twickenham," said I; "that lies in our way to 
Hampton Court, and, if possible, I should like to have 
a peep into the grotto of Alexander Pope, who used to 
live there." 

" The universal-prayer man ? " 

"The same." 

" Why, we must see that, of course." 

"But it is private property, and they tell me that 
strangers are not admitted there." 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 129 

" Nothing like trying ; only yon let me manage that." 

After a first-rate dinner, we set out. Crossing again 
the Thames, we ascended the hill on the opposite bank, 
and were soon in the old village. We drove by the ele- 
gant mansion and grounds of the exiled Bourbon, and 
looked over towards Strawberry Hill (now owned by Lady 
Waldegrave), once the residence of Horace Walpole. 
How much of gossip, but of the politest, most enter- 
taining, most instructive sort, had been talked, and, for- 
tunately for posterity, written down in that country 
place. By inquiring among those persons whom we 
met we ascertained the precise spot in the street beneath 
which was the grotto. On the grounds to which it 
extended, stood a handsome villa. After passing it 
a few rods, we halted, descended from the carriage, and 
approached the gate, Jim in the lead. A neatly-dressed 
woman was standing before the door in one of the walks. 
Jim advanced respectfully towards her, as she turned 
on seeing us, and, taking off his hat, gave her a bow and 
a good afternoon. 

"I beg pardon, madam; but we called to beg the 
liberty of seeing, but for one moment, the — eh — the — " 

He hesitated and looked at me. 

" Grotto," I said. 

"Certainly; the name escaped me for a moment, — 
the grotto of Mr. Pope." 

"Very sorry, sir, but strangers are not allowed — my 
orders are to — " 

" I beg your pardon, madam, we heard that was the 
qase, but not until we had left our homes. We are 
Americans who have come over to see your beautiful 
country, and we have been delighted, madam, not only 
with the country itself, but with the people whom we 



130 TWO GRA.Y TOURISTS. 

have seen thus far. As for myself, madam, and I am 
sure I can say the same for my friend, a friendlier, 
politer people we would both, seldom, in fact, never 
wish to see. We did hope, indeed, just to look for one 
minute into the grotto (intending, of course, to leave 
immediately afterwards), just to say that we had seen 
it, especially as both of us, which you can see for your- 
self, are somewhat advanced in life, and could hardly 
expect to make such a trip again and — why, bless me, 
what a beautiful place this is, and you notice, Philemon, 
how well it is kept ? in what taste ? and everything of 
the kind ? Healthy, too, I don't doubt. However, you 
English have such elegant complexions, especially you 
English ladies, that, it's not worth while to inquire- 
though some do have better than others — and, indeed — 
the grotto, I understand, is just there, and runs under 
the street — a very convenient place. "Well, Mr. Perch, 
we can tell our friends that they were very polite to us, 
and if it had'nt been strictly against the rules— but, 
upon my word, a better kept place I should, indeed — " 

He was turning slowly around, looking persuasively, 
alternately at the woman and the shrubbery which he 
knew covered the entrance to the grotto. She smiled, 
hesitated, and said: 

"I suppose there is'nt any harm just in looking at it." 
Then she led us through, taking pains to show us the 
stump of the willow that the poet had planted. Jim 
thanked her so cordially that she valued his words, I 
believe, more than the present that he forced her to 
take. She looked at him, as we left, as if she believed 
him to be one of the best of men. If that was her 
thought, she was not mistaken. 

" You see, Phil," he said, when Ave were again in the 
carriage, "nothing like being polite to people." 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 131 

*' You don't think that you pushed the .figure any too 
far with the good woman ? " 

'Not a bit of it. I suppose the owner is often wor- 
ried by people, many of whom have no better manners 
than to almost demand admittance. They are genteel 
people, and while they wont show the place for money, 
I've no doubt they let in other genteel people sometimes 
when they apply in the right sort of way. My wife 
loves to hear her front yard praised, and I knew this 
woman, although nothing but a servant, would too, and 
I'd have said what I did, even if I had'nt wanted any- 
thing. And then, Phil, I did'nt know, you see, but that 
her husband, or brother, or sweet-heart might be the 
one that kept it in order." 

" But what about the complexion ? " 

" Oh, you get out. If it had been you, you would 
have been met at the gate and turned back, and probably 
had the dogs set on you. What did you think of the 
grotto, as you call it ? I call it a hole in the ground." 

" It is smaller than I expected ; yet, I am much grati- 
fied to have seen it." 

" I'm glad I've seen it myself, that is, one time. I 
can't understand how any smart man w r ould want to stay 
in such a place as that. But poets take up mighty 
strange notions. Then he was a little scrap of a fellow, 
and wanted to be seen seldom, I suppose. I expect he 
made it, to hide in sometimes when people called on him 
that he did'nt want to see." 

" No, he was very fond of it, studied and wrote in it, 
and entertained his friends there." 

"Many men of many minds, many birds of many 
kinds, as the copy-book says." 

As we approached Hampton Court, it was easy to see 
that the great cardinal, who, in search of healthfulness 



132 TWO GRAY TOtlUSTS. 

and fitness of situation, founded it, had been abundantly 
successful." 

"Another mean thing, 7 ' said Jim, as Ave rode along the 
road in Bushy Park, "in Henry VIII, in taking thi.i 
place, dry so, from old Wolsey. Well, sir, he was an 
interesting fellow to me somehow. When he wanted 
anything, he took it, without making any bones about 
it, whether it was a new wife, or a palace, or land, or 
money. He set out Avith the notion, or he got to believe 
so at last, when they turned him out of the Church, that 
every man and woman, and building, church or what 
not, belonged to him, and if this doctrine did'nt suit 
any particular person, he cut his head off, and shut his 
mouth. But, I suppose the people had got so tired of 
the everlasting wars, that they thought it as Avell to let 
him cut off the heads of as many big men, and haA r e as 
many pretty women for wives as he wanted, instead of 
resisting and breaking out into Avar again. He was 
smart enough to see the situation, and he took it." 

We entered the court, and ascending the King's grand 
stair-case, passed through the several chambers. What 
a flood of historic reminiscences here! I thought of 
the marvelous rise of the butcher's son, the entertain- 
ments, literary and festal, he had given here to lords and 
ladies of his own and other lands, little foreseeing that 
in that same grand hall, some of these same lords and 
ladies would in time listen to the tragic recital of his 
own downfall, while himself, in the Abbey of Leicester 
would be warning his follower of the dangerous heights 
of ambition. As little had the beautiful Anne Boleyn, 
despising the faded beauty of her royal mistress, fore- 
seen that dark room in the Tower, and that scene in the 
court below. Indeed, could the poAverful tyrant fore- 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 133 

see that even there would be ever an end to his own life? 
It would seem that such disregard of God and man must 
have counted on living on always. But he would be 
king to the last, and even endeavor in his dying hour, to 
bid death wait, until he could hear that the head of 
Norfolk had fallen beneath the axe. Following along 
the track of history, I beheld Edward, and the imperi- 
ous, godless Somerset, Elizabeth and Mary, the two sis- 
ters, so widely different in their characters and careers, 
and in the charitable speeches of the next ages; the 
Stuarts, Cromwell, dreaming, after allying with nobility, 
of founding another line of dynasty; William and 
Mary, husband and wife, yet not lovers, laying out this 
beautiful park in which he was destined to be thrown 
from his horse and killed ; Queen Anne, reminded, at 
the consecutive deaths of all her numerous offspring, of 
the infelicities of kings, when they see the glory depart- 
ing from their houses ; and then the line of Brunswick, 
until, with the demise of the Second George, Hampton 
ceased to be the favorite residence of princes, and was 
consigned to the remnant of the decayed old nobility. 
"How many more among those who lived and ruled in 
this stately pile, the cups of disappointment than the 
cups of joy," I said, as after coming out of the gate, and 
entering the carriage, we were driving again through 
Bushy Park. 

" Yes, sir," answered, Jim, " they paid high for what 
they got. The more I think of it, Phil, the more I'm 
thankful that I was'nt born, as Weller says, in that 
sitooation of life, or that I myself ain't a big man. That's 
a blessing, I know, that's very common. Still, every 
common man don't appreciate it like I do." 

Returning to Kew, we dismissed our carriage, and 
12 



134 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

took the boat which we saw just then slowly descending 
the river above us. We walked down the bank towards 
the landing. As we were nearing it, Jim suddenly 
exclaimed: 

" Where's your overcoat ? " 

I had left it in the carriage. The boat was now at 
the landing, where it would remain but a couple of 
minutes. I looked back, and to my surprise, there on 
the bridge, on which we had already crossed when we 
left him, stood the cabman, holding on high the missing 
garment, and motioning to us to proceed, rushed towards 
us with all his might. I rewarded the man, while Jim, 
who could not keep his hands out of his pockets, gave 
to him also, and shaking him by the hand, said : 

" My dear fellow, if you ever come to Georgia — " 

The laugh of the captain and passengers who had 
seen our strait, drowned the rest, and we were off. 

" Honestest people I ever saw, cap'n," said Jim. 

"Who, the cabbies?" 

" Yes ; but not them in particular : the whole Eng- 
lish nation, by gracious." 

"Oh, thanks; but he dared not keep the great coat. 
He's an honest lad, I daresay; but he dared not keep 
it." 

" In our country, sir, many a one would have dared to 
keep it, and would have kept it. You see this aged 
person here, cap'n," he continued, laying his hand on 
my shoulder, " I have to keep my eye on him constantly. 
If I take it off him for a minute he's lost something. 
He'd lose everything he's got twas'nt for me. A little 
advanced, you know," whispering very loudly, " memory 
not good as it used to be." 

" Even loses his thread sometimes, Jim, eh ? " I said. 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 135 

"You get out." 

The weather was fine; the little steamer passed 
along down so leisurely, that the many row-boats that 
were out seemed to think it not worth their while to 
get out of its *way until it had reached within a few 
feet of them. 

"And here's Chelsea. At the hospital here, they take 
care,- inside and out, of several thousand children of 
seamen. Here's where the great water-works of London 
begin." 

"And here," I said, " also Queen Elizabeth once had 
a palace, and right yonder on that rising immediately 
on the bank was the house of Sir Thomas More, the 
loveliest character in British history." 

By Putney, Battersea, Fulham, Lambeth. We debarked 
at Westminster bridge, and taking a cab, as the sun 
went down, drove to the hotel, both feeling and both 
saying that it was a most agreeable day's excursion. 

That night Jim entertained me with an extended 
account of his travels in the city by omnibus and under- 
ground railway, his investigations concerning the Hol- 
born Viaduct, the Thames Embankment, the Tunnel and 
other great works of London. "While you were poking 
about," he said, "to find out what the town had been, 
I was seeing what it is now." He had gathered up 
the statistics of many of these works, and the figures of 
their cost and the extent to which they were used were 
surprising and rather interesting to me. 

" I did'nt," said he, winding up his account, " I did'nt 
have any idea of the bigness of this town and the tre- 
mendous business that is done here, before I saw it 
with my own eyes. I've ridden through and through 
it, lengthwise and crosswise. The people! the people 



[ 



rwo ouw TOURISTS, 



that live ami work here! How rich are the rich, and 

how poor i ln> poor! These poor the rioli have to take 
some care o\\ and so tar as money is concerned, and 

hospitals, they spend and build, and build and spend. 
St. Thomas' Hospital alone, reeeives sixty thousand 
people a year! Hut to see the crowds of poor people 
that I have, one Would 'nt suppose there was a hospital 
in England, In some places they are as thick as -worms 
in an old rotten log; and they almost are like 'em as 
they go crawling and dragging themselves about. Hut, 
yon know, people have got to have the poor always. 
The Bible says that." 

••So yon see, Jim, that yon have something else to be 
thankful tor besides not being a king." 

"Yes, indeed, and 1 don't know for which the most. 
I'm sorter like Agar, Phil. Neither poverty nor riehes 
for me. 1 always would want enough to live on deeently. 
and to keep from having to steal, or feel like stealing 
from other people. But Til be blamed if I believe I 
could stand being as rich as some o( these people over 
here." 




CHAPTER XII, 




A VIXG- determined, contrary to our first expec- 
tations, to make a flying visit to Scotland be- 
fore passing to the Continent, early on Monday 
morning we were on the train for York. 
Shortly after taking our smoking-car, an Englishman, 
stout, fair, side-whiskered, hearty-looking, came in, and 
after placing his luggage carefully, took his seat without 
seeming to notice that any but himself were there. We 
had barely moved out of the station, when he took out a 
cigar, lit it, and read his newspaper. Jim and I, with 
maps extended, studied the region over which we were 
to journey, which like all the rest we had seen of this 
beautiful country was full of ever varying interest. 
The villas, the hayfields, and market- gardens of Middle- 
sex and Herts, in the latter, the apple-orchards, as the 
city-like and suburban prospects subsided into the rural, 
and the fields became larger and the shade trees more 
abundant, made us glad to be in the fresh air once more. 
We flew into Bedford (where we again saw the Chiltern 
Hills), along the pleasant banks of the Ivel on its way 
to join the Ouse ; then into Huntingdon, where I thought 
of the brave Iceni who had dwelt here, and Boadicea, 
their queen, and how, at last, at Caister, they went down 
before the Koman legions under Silanus; and then of 
the less ancient, yet far remote rule of the Forest Laws, 



12< 



(137> 



138 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

and the great Earls of Huntingdon, descending to bold 
Kobin Hood. 

Biding in the same carriage, seated silently by a 
good-looking man, who seemed as if he might have some 
good talk inside of him, was one of the things that Jim 
Rawls was not used to. In speaking before this of some 
of the acquaintances he had made, he said to me : 

" These English people will travel with you a month, 
and say not one blessed word to you unless you speak to 
them first; and then, at the start, they'll just answer 
your questions and no more. But if you don't put 'em 
too fast, and then if you'll ask sensible questions — as I 
generally try to make it a point to do — they will get 
right sociable, if they ain't busy." 

On this morning, after some talking among ourselves, 
and while I sat ruminating over the past history of this 
section, I noticed Jim open his cigar-case, and after he 
had fixed the attention of our fellow traveller, with 
apparently great care, select a cigar, and hand it to him 
with this remark r 

"I see you smoke, sir. We have some very good 
American cigars ; won't you try this one ? " 

Such cordiality few could have withstood. The gen- 
tleman, whom Jim found to be a Mr. Flynt from York- 
shire, accepted with thanks, and very soon the two were 
on terms of reasonable good fellowship. Their interest 
in each other gave me opportunities to meditate without 
interruption. Jim was delighted to meet a person who 
could answer all his questions about the present state of 
the country, the character of the crops, and their condi- 
tion, the lands and their prices, the manufacturing 
interests, etc. As we went through Peterborough, I 
observed, as well as I could, with the help of my opera- 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 139 

glass, the old Cathedral, with its turrets and pinnacles 
and monastic edifices adjoining. Within was the dust 
of Catharine of Arragon. Neither her innocence nor 
her misfortunes had obtained for her a different resting 
place. Not so with the Queen of Scots, whose remains, 
first deposited there, were afterwards removed by her 
son, James I, to Westminster Abbey. Yet this had 
been no common place, but for centuries had been the 
favorite shrine of the pious, whether prince or noble, 
knight, or gentleman, or yeoman; and, from the gifts 
of the devout Edgar, had been called Guldenburgh, " the 
Golden City." 

Our companion was no more able to refuse Jim's invi- 
tation to partake of our lunch than to decline his cigar. 
Having gotten on easy terms, both of us were entertained 
by his conversation. While not a man of liberal educa- 
tion, he was well acquainted with the resources and the 
business of his section. As we passed along through 
the great county of Lincoln, I listened as he talked of 
the undulating wolds of the northeastern portion of the 
county, the moors, extending north and south through 
the centre, and the fens in the southeast, fenced off by 
embankments from the German Ocean. I, but not Mr. 
Flynt, could occasionally detect on Jim's face an amused 
smile, as the former spoke, with some pride, of the four 
rivers of the county, the Trent, the Welland, the Witham, 
and the Ancholme, as if they were well known rivers of 
Damascus. Passing into Nottingham, our guest — for 
such Jim considered him now — spoke yet more know- 
ingly of general interests and industries. While he 
was discoursing to Jim of the immense business done 
in the lace and hosiery lines, I could but recur to the 
Druids who once held here their solemn reign. Away 



140 TWO GRAY TOUKISTS. 

to our left were to be seen some remains of Sherwood 
Forest, where the gestes of Eobin Hood were enacted. 
Along where we were travelling, doubtless he^and Little 
John, and Friar Tuck and the rest had passed ; and not 
far off was Kirksley Hall, where, having been betrayed 
by his kinswoman, the bold outlaw ended his career. I 
said how I regretted not being able to visit that spot. 
Mr. Flvnt expressed some surprise, and Jim asked : 

"What's Kirksley Hall?" 

" Where Robin Hood died and was buried," and then 
I repeated the ballad beginning thus : 

' When Robin Hood and Little John 
Went o'er yon bank of broom, 
Said Robin Hood to Little John 
We have shot for many a pound." 

" That's right good," said Jim, " I always liked that 
Robin Hood. He never hurt woman, nor man in 
woman's company. Still, he might have known that 
following' that sort of business he would be cut off sud- 
denly somehow, by rope, or something else." 

Mr. Flynt smiled approvingly, and they returned to 
the lace and hosiery business. This turn shut me up 
at once, and sent me back to my meditations. For the 
rest of the journey to York they sat opposite each other 
at one side of the carriage, while I was by the window 
at the other. We were not far from the station, when 
Jim turned to me and asked with an air of one who 
was seeking honestly for useful information : 

" Phil, can you tell this gentleman about how far it 
is from Boston to Buenos Ayres ? He asked me, but I 
disremember, although I did know once, and am sur- 
prised that such a plain thing should have dropped out 
of my mind." 



TWO GEAY TOUKISTS. 141 

I was figuring in my mind preparatory to giving an 
answer, when Mr. Flynt arose, commenced getting down 
his luggage, and, looking out of the window, said: 

" We are at York, gentlemen." 

After we had parted, and were on the way to our 
hotel, Jim said: 

" You want to know why I asked you that question ? 
Don't you think that man believes that the war we had 
lately was between North America and South America ? 
And he a man that owns land, and has plenty of sense 
besides. I wish you could have heard him asking about 
our negroes, and our feeding 'em on cotton seed, and 
working 'em in chain-gangs, and locking 'em up at 
night, and our haying to stand guard and all such. 
But he's a clever fellow, and a sensible. He had heard 
such things, and he believed 'em. I've heard a good 
deal of just such as that since I've been over here. I 
don't know whether they believe me or not, but I poke 
all the information into 'em I can. I told him I thought 
it was about ten or fifteen thousand miles between 
Boston and Buenos Ayres, a right smart distance for 
two armies to pass over before they could get up a fight. 
But, bless me, here's another old wall. I'd have bet 
that you'd stop where there was one of them. The 
Black 8wan, eh ? Well, I'm ready for whatever good 
things she's got in her smoke-house and pantry." 

Our expectations concerning this excellent hotel were 
fully realized under the care of Mr. and Miss Penrose. 
We supposed at first that the pretty bar-maids were 
their daughters, so fond of them they seemed ; but we 
found that the host and hostess were brother and sister, 
and unmarried. Their uncle and aunt, then argued 
Jim, But no ; it was only that the employed were so 



142 TWO GRAY TOUEISTS. 

sweet and efficient, and the employers so orderly, con- 
siderate, and kind. The Yorkshire mutton chops and 
ham, and ale, the snug smoking-room, and clean, cosy 
hed-chamber, would have inclined us to rest here several 
days. Our host, we thought, might have provided us 
with a somewhat better horse than the old white jade 
that took us out to Bishopthorpe, the Archbishop's 
palace. But we did not complain; for the fields and 
farms on either side of the road were so fair to look 
upon, that we could have been content to travel at a yet 
slower pace. A sweeter spot (always excepting Guy's 
Cliffe) could not well have been chosen for retirement 
and religion. The Ouse, laving the palace walls and 
smoothly gliding amidst shades and flower-beds, the 
deep green grass, the magnificent roses (the finest we 
saw in England) engrafted upon lofty stems, all seemed 
to form a retreat where a scholar and devout prelate 
might dwell in quiet and felicity. A drive about the 
town on our return showed us its objects of special 
interest. Old "Walmsgate, yet preserving its barbican, 
with the arms of the city and Henry V; Micklegate, 
that, although now without barbican, yet called to mind 
that here were wont to be hung in bloody times the heads 
of the executed ; and Clifford's Tower, which though now 
occupied by those who manage the public business of the 
county, still could not fail to recall the days of feudal 
ascendency. The most beautiful of ruins seemed to those 
of St. Mary's Abbey, near Marygate, the multangular 
tower of which is now a musuem. But it was while 
wandering near Christ Church, and along by Good ram 
gate, the site of the ancient Eoman palace, that I was most 
interested. Here Hadrian had fixed the British capital, 
after he had subdued the islanders and carried a wall 



TWO GKAY TOUEISTS. 143 

from Carlisle to Newcastle. Here Albinus commanded 
with his legions, when, on the assassination of the good 
Pertinax, Septimus Severus beguiled him away with the 
argument of patriotic revenge upon Niger to rescue the 
people from the base Julianus. Here the same Severus, 
Niger and Albinus being overthrown, repaired on the 
revolt of the Britons with his sons Oaracalla and Gaeta, 
whose ingratitude, crimes and dissensions rendered vain 
his successes, and broke his heart. Here the accom- 
plished Julia Domna reigned and dazzled, and did not 
foresee the wounds she was to receive while lifting 
her hands to rescue the beloved Gaeta from the 
murderous knife of his brother. Yet more interesting 
than these the reminiscences of Oonstantius and his 
dynasty. Here died he, and on that day the legions 
declared emperor the son, who was to erect the standard 
of the Cross, and remove the centre of political empire to 
New Rome on the Bosphorus, leaving the Eternal City 
to become that of religious unity. 

But vain were walls and towers against the moun- 
taineers, unless the Soman legions were within and 
around them. With the decline of the empire, another 
power must come from beyond the German Ocean, and 
after six hundred years of rule, while the last king, in this 
same ancient city would be holding high festivity after 
the battle of Stamford Bridge, the dread news be brought 
that William the Norman was at Pevensey, and in an- 
other week the Saxon dynasty be laid low. The mind 
saddened in retracing the bloody scenes enacted here, 
both in war and in peace, Briton, Saxon, Norman, Lan- 
caster and York, Stuart and Parliamentarian, < Druid, 
Christian, and Israelite. 

" In the name of common sense," said Jim, winding 



144 TWO GEAY TOURISTS. 

up another tirade against the preservation of those relics 
of cruel times, "I can't see why they should want to 
keep that old Micklegate that's in everybody's way, just 
to look up to where the heads of their great, great 
great grandfathers were hung up and left to feed the 
buzzards." 

" My dear Jim, it is to remind themselves and their 
children and all the world from what oppressions the 
courage of their nearer ancestry delivered their country." 

" Humph ! That's like the old nigger who, when he 
was fishing in the creek, his under lip poked out about 
two inches, and a white boy from the bridge above, 
dropped on it a piece of mud, got up and started off, 
saying : ' I don't 'tend to take it off. I don't 'tend to 
take it off. I gwine kyar it right thraight and thow it 
to your daddy.' " 

The next morning while my friend and Mr. Penrose 
were out inspecting the glass-works and the market, I 
repaired alone to the cathedral. Fitly named, in this 
central place of battle and blood, was that temple to 
Bellona which was standing here on the day of Constan- 
tine's ascension to empire. On the very spot, after other 
alternations, the Northumbrians erected a Christian 
Church, when they had accepted the faith which Au- 
gustine had introduced into Kent. Four centuries later 
began the erection of the work which two centuries yet 
later ended in the completion of the great Minster. Su- 
perior to what I had anticipated was the exterior view — 
the lofty, square-topped towers in the west ; the pointed 
arches and the marigold windows in the south ; the yet 
more magnificent window of the east ; the Five Sisters 
of the north, and the great Lantern Tower lifted high 
above all. But within ! Not St. Paul's, not Westmin- 



TWO GEAY TOUKISTS. 145 

ster Abbey seemed to me so fitting for the worship of 
the Creator, and so accustomed to His presence as this 
whose nave, and aisles, and transepts, and choir, so vary- 
ing in architectural excellence, yet so harmonious, told 
of a long history, and seemed so typical of the varying 
religious faith of this ever earnest people. To enter by 
the west end, stand in the central door, and look down 
that nave, one's vision extending beyond the organ into 
the choir into which the mellowed light descends from 
the great east window, and then slowly tread beneath 
those solemn arches, and amid the aisles and transepts, 
and look upon the tombs therein, and in Lady Chapel, of 
archbishops and earls, divines and scholars, of Hatfield 
and Wentworth, Medley and Saville, these are such as to 
impress one's mind with as solemn awe, I believe, as 
would be felt in any temple on earth. As I was about to 
come forth by the door through which I had entered, the 
great organ began to sound for a special morning ser- 
vice. Never before did that instrument seem to me so 
fit for making the music of worship and thanksgiving. 
But the hour for our departure was drawing nigh, and I 
hastened back to the hotel. 

Quite a friendly acquaintance had grown up between 
Jim and Mr. Penrose, and on departing from the Black 
Swan we had sensations akin to those with which we 
had left the Red Horse at Stratford. After we were 
fairly off for Edinburgh, he, as usual, began with the 
dutiful task of speaking of our late entertainers with the 
grateful praise which it was ever his delight to bestow 
upon whomsoever had treated him with kindness. 

" Phil," said he, " do you believe in lotteries, as they 
call 'em, in people's marrying?" 

" Why, what put so grave a question in your head this 
fine m rning ? " I returned. 3.3 



146 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

" Because I just happened to be thinking about it. I 
have thought a great deal, and somehow I never 
have been able to make up my mind about it. It's a 
question that people may argue about all their lives and 
never settle. Now there's Mr. Penrose and his sister, 
neither one of 'em married. And yet I never saw two 
apparently better contented people in my life; and if 
they don't know how to keep a hotel it is'nt worth while 
for anybody else to try. What a good husband and wife 
they would have made — that is, to all appearances. But 
there's the point, you see. We can't tell about such 
things. Maybe it was'nt their lot to marry, and maybe 
they would'nt have done as well as they've done single. 
For many a man, there's no doubt about that, and woman, 
too, makes a poor out of it in marrying. Still, nine 
out of ten can't be satisfied until they do marry, and, 
as a general thing, that's what makes old bachelors and 
old maids so crusty. They go on the idea, or they think 
other people do, that they have lost something that other 
people have ; and so they get to be at last what they 
suspect other people believe them to be. Now, this Mr. 
Penrose and his sister seem to me to be exceptions to 
this rule. I have an idea that they are always congrat- 
ulating themselves that they ain't married, and that 
they don't have the troubles of married people generally. 
But here's another thing that I've noticed, Phil. When 
this thing of not marrying runs in the family, it don't 
serve people as it does when only one stays single. It's 
especially the case when a brother and sister keep single 
and live together. Such a couple, generally, are quiet, 
good-natured, kind-hearted people. Marrying certainly 
makes some people better than they would have been 
without it; but then it makes others worse. Then 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 147 

again some couples get together in such strange 
ways; and then some fall in love at first sight, just like 
I did with Emily. And then you know the Almighty 
instituted marriage ; and as for Adam, Eve was made 
expressly for Mm, and he had to take her because, my 
gracious, she was all there was. That was the first case, 
and after that, why not a lottery, or a special providence 
for the rest of us ? But then, on the other hand — oh, 
pshaw ! when I get on that subject my mind always gets 
confused. Oh, you may laugh, but you don't know any 
more about it than I do." 

"I do not. But I suppose you mean, by what 
you say of Mr. and Miss Penrose, that if there was a 
lottery, they never went to the drawing, or they drew 
blanks." 

" Blamed if I know exactly what I did mean, except 
that they are two mighty clever people, and know how 
to keep a hotel." 

" You know somebody that drew a prize." 

" That I do ; and I never knew half the worth of her 
till I've come so far from her." 

How lovely was that morning. Though we rushed 
along with the speed of the hurricane (for we made no 
stop until we reached Newcastle-upon-Tyne, eighty-six 
miles distant), yet the sweet prospects along the Ouse, 
and afterwards, the Cod-Beck and the Wistol, were so 
abundant, that we had no time to regret the instanta- 
neous passing of any one among them. On and on, to 
Northallerton ; we had scarce time to think of Standard 
Hill, where the battle of the Standard was fought, 
before we reached the Tees, and our thoughts wandered 
up its banks to Barnard Castle, and the days of Baliol. 

"And now," said Jim, " I see from the map thai? ~e 



148 TWO GRAY TOtlltiSTS. 

are in Durham, and sure enough, here's the short- 
horned cattle. I've read that they come from Tees- 
water. This is one of the great coal counties in Eng- 
land, too. Did you know that ? " 

"No." 

"So I supposed; I bet if there's any old cathedral 
anywhere about you know of that." 

"I supposed everybody knew of the Cathedral of 
Durham. This is one of the richest sees in England." 

" I hope those old Romans never got up this far." 

"But they did. Here was some of their hardest 
fighting, first in subduing the Brigantines, and after- 
wards in keeping off the Scots and Picts. I wish we 
could stop for a little while at Durham town. The 
cathedral is one of the best specimens of Norman archi- 
tecture. Besides, I should like to see the shrines of 
St. Cuthbert and Bede the historian." 

" Bede ! I never heard of a historian of that name." 

" He wrote eight hundred years ago, and in Latin." 

" Well, I never expect to read, the works of Mr. Bede, 
if you'll allow a rhyme." 

We were soon at the Wear, and, flying along its lovely 
banks, noticed how it encircled the ancient town. We 
got only a brief look at the cathedral, and the castle on 
the lofty, immense rock, surrounded by gardens and 
plantations, when we were out of sight again, and in a 
few minutes, the speed slackened, and passing slowly 
through Gateshead and over the Tyne, halted at New- 
castle. 

"A live town, sure. I noticed some old walls still 
standing as we came in, but none to hurt." 

"This place was the Pons Aelii of the Emperor 
Hadrian, and those walls were built by Severus. Long 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 149 

afterwards, it was noted for its monasteries, and was 
called Monkchester. Pilgrims in great crowds used to 
congregate at The Holy Well of Jesus. One of the sons 
of William the Conqueror built a castle here, and from 
that the town took its present name." 

"No cathedral?" 

" No ; but the Church of St. Nicholas is next to one." 

" Those old fellows never dreamed of the coal that 
was under the ground here, nor what it was to do for 
the world. Ah ! Yonder' s the German Ocean. Some 
distance from home, old fellow, let's brace up a little." 

He took down the lunch-basket, and opened a bottle, 
and soliloquized thus, in audible tones, as he made 
things ready: 

" I've found that when a fellow is travelling a long 
way from home, and with rather an oldish person, one 
of the best things to have against home- sickness is a 
good appetite, that is, provided, of course, a fellow can 
get something good to eat and to drink at the same 
time. Next to a good appetite and the et ceteras, of 
course, is young, pleasant company, if a fellow could 
get it ; but, of course, it is the part of prudence to put 
up with what company a fellow does have, if it's the 
best he can get, and make the most of it. If a fellow 
could once get out of the region of old walls, and cas- 
tles, and graveyards, some people might not appear to 
be quite so old. I am thankful to see, though, that they 
take kindly to beer, and that it seems — " 

"Morpeth!" 

"Morpeth? I've heard of that. That's it, is it? 
Was'nt there a Lord Morpeth ? " 

"Oh, yes. Morpeth gives the title to the Howard 
family, as the whole county Northumberland gives that 
to the Fercies." 13 * 



150 TWO OKAY TOURISTS. 

Crossing the Lyhe, the Cogent, and the Aln, the 
scenery grew rapidly more picturesque as we approached 
nearer and nearer the German Ocean, until we were 
upon its very shores. The ground to our left, though 
yet in faultless green, rose higher and higher until it 
culminated in the Cheviot mountains. As we neared 
l>erwick-on-Tweed, 1 looked over the waters towards 
Lindisfarn, and my memory again called the saintly 
Cuthbert, and the sweet influences that the lives of him 
and his brethren of the Holy Island had wrought upon 
the fierce inhabitants of that mountain region. Cross- 
ing the Tweed, we were now in Scotland. Through 
Berwick and Haddington, getting only a glimpse of 
Dunbar House as we sped through Dunbar. The rich- 
est, loveliest, plain we had seen was that which extended 
from the foot of the Laniniermoor Hills in the south, 
and further on, from the More foots in East Lothian to 
the Firth of Forth. We had not ceased talking about 
the battle of 1 'res ton Tans, begun by our passing over 
that famous field, when, looking out to the left we saw 
Arthur's Seat looming up, and shortly afterwards were 
in Edinburgh. 




CHAPTER XIII, 




T eight o'clock P. M. we had enough daylight 
left in that high latitude to make some obser- 
vations in the afternoon. We sallied out, there- 
fore, for a walk in the New Town, which this 
street (Prince, on which, at McGregor's Hotel, we were 
quartered), formerly a deep gulch, separates from the 
old. We traversed alternately from end to end Prince's, 
George's, and Queen streets, lingering severally at the 
site of the Ambrose Tavern in Register street, St. An- 
drew's Square, and the late residences of Brougham, 
Scott, Hume, Jeffrey, Cockburn, and at Charlotte Square, 
Moray Place and others. That night, while I spent an 
hour or two in reading up on the foretimes of Edin- 
burgh, Jim, who had made acquaintance with the land- 
lord, was engaged in getting an acquaintance with its 
present conditions. I had taken a fresh interest in the 
old Scottish kings — the pious David, founder of Melrose, 
Kelso, Dryburgh, and Holyrood — the Holy Rood, so 
eventful in its fortunes, all along from the time of 
its importation by Queen Margaret; and Neville's Cross 
and its enshrining in Durham Cathedral. I had wan- 
dered along to King James IV, and mingled with the 
throng in that splendid pageant, when another Margaret, 
daughter of the first of the Tudors, was led by the gal- 
lant Surrey and Archbishop of York to espouse the Scot- 

(151) 



152 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

tish king. The royal husband, in the fullness of con- 
jugal happiness and princely power, could not foresee 
that this same Surrey would afterwards lead an army to 
Flodden Field, where Scotland's spear would be shat- 
tered, and broken her shield. Then I thought of Magda- 
len of France, who came to preside in that same palace 
(named from the abbey, Holyrood), and a month after- 
wards was laid in the abbey tomb, when Mary of Guise 
was chosen to take her place. Lastly, I mused of the 
daughter of this second marriage, Mary of Scots, so 
beautiful, so imprudent, so unfortunate, with whom 
passed away the glory of Holyrood. 

In the midst of these musings Jim came up, and said 
that he would bet "'arf a crown " that I did'nt know what 
was the principal and most money-making business in 
the present burg. I gave it up. 

"Ale. A-l-e ale — beer. Yes, sir. They do a consid- 
erable business here in shawls, and in the book and type 
foundry trades. But the big business is ale-brewing. 
This is a great barley country, you know. Not that the 
people drink the ale themselves, for they drink whiskey 
instead ; but the barley, what is not fed to horses and 
poor folks, is made into ale and sold in England and 
other countries. " 

This announcement served to divert my thoughts from 
the pathway in which they had been traveling, and soon 
afterwards my friend and I went in search of sleep 
and found it. After early breakfast we took a carriage 
and drove into old town, High street, Netherbow, and 
Canongate, passing slowly along, through Morocco Land, 
full of romantic traditions, St. Anne's Yards, the Debtors' 
Sanctuary, made so widely known by the Chronicles of 
the Canongate, Queen Mary's Garden, near where Rizzio 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 153 

dwelt, then over the ruins of the ancient abbey to Holy- 
rood Palace. 

The satisfaction on entering this renowned structure 
was subdued by the melancholy of contrasting its pres- 
ent humbled condition with the splendid adornments of 
old times. The ruins of the abbey, the disappearance of 
the gardens and parks, the poverty of whatever relics of 
art are yet preserved, the smallness of the chambers, that 
poor, ruined bed, with its faded, ragged coverings, all 
hindered us from wishing to linger among them. 

"Where's the blood of that fellow Kizzio?" asked 
Jim of the guide, in a subdued, respectful whisper. 
Stooping down, he looked closely and thoughtfully at 
the stain upon the floor, and rising, whispered again 
to me: 

"No business being so thick. It's always dangerous; 
though I always believed she was innocent of the worst 
they accused her of." 

Emerging, we visited St. Giles' Cathedral, famous for 
John Knox and the Covenanters, paused for a moment at 
the figure of a heart made in the pavement where once 
stood the great prison — the Heart of Midlothian, thence 
to the Grass market, thence making a short visit to the 
hill and the castle, and after viewing these for a few 
moments, and looking over that almost inimitable pros- 
pect of the Salisbury Crags, Pentlands and Hills of Fife, 
descended and took the train for Stirling. Fertile in 
abundance are the level fields of Edinburgh and Lin- 
lithgow. As we emerged from the region of the Lothians 
and the Firth of Forth, the land rose in undulations, 
increasing in height and depth as we neared Stirling. 
Jim pretended to be not much interested in the talk I 
had of the ancient struggles of the Scots on one hand 



154 TWO GRAY TOURISTS 

with their alternate enemies over the border — the Bri- 
(6ns, and Romans, and Saxons, until the cession of the 
Lothians to the former in the time of Malcolm II ; so 
about the wall of Antoninus at Falkirk. But he bright- 
ened up at the stories of Wallace, Edward I, and 
Charles Edward. What took him more than these, how- 
ever, was what he had found out about the great Oarron 
Iron Works, near the Trysts, and the cattle-fairs that are 
held here. 

"Three hundred thousand head of cattle a year, sir; 
not men to be butchered, by gracious, but cattle. Old 
walls in this country moved away, spears turned into 
plow-shares, and swords into pruning-hooks. More good 
is done here in one year by these cattle shows than all 
the wars of all the times of all the Eomans and all the 
Saxons and all the rest of 'em, by George." 

" Still, Jim, it is interesting to know the places where 
these famous wars occurred ; they are parts of the his- 
tory of the world, and we must study that as we go." 

" Oh, yes, certainly, certainly. I'm merely making 
remarks, and — comments, so to speak — on the history 
lessons, just to make 'em more interesting. Go ahead, 
you old schoomaster: fetch out the big names. And, by 
gracious, they are getting bigger, I notice, and harder 
to call as Ave get higher up among these hills, these 
Linlithgows and such; and I see from the map that 
they are going to get longer as we go on. But go ahead, 
I like to hear you tell about it all. I want Emily to 
know that I've seen everything on the route that was 
worth seeing. That's what she cautioned me not to fail 
to do. She said I was to take in all I could of what you 
told of the history part of the trip. I shall tell her that 
I've seen all the old Roman walls, and where all the old 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 155 

battles were fought, and the heads cut off and hung up, 
and where all the old kings and queens were born, and 
lived, and kept in jail, and wrote poetry, and their lovers 
got stabbed and left their blood on the floor, and the 
whole conflutement of 'em. I want you, before we part, 
Phil, to give me a list of all of 'em, so I can study 'em 
up and get 'em at my tongue's end, and, when I get 
home, I can rattle 'em off and make Emily proud, and 
the other women in the neighborhood jealous. Go ahead ; 
what old Roman was it that built the dirt wall along 
here? Old Antony?" 

"Antoninus, you wretch, Antoninus." 

"All the same, or nigh enough for my use. And so 
Queen Mary used to come out this way and spend some 
of her time at Linlithgow, crossing the Almond Vale, 
Queensferry and on by Barnbough Castle. Here's to 
all of 'em. I don't like this Scotch ale as well as the 
English. It's too frothy, and fussy, and fiery. Still 
here's to old An-tonicus, and may nobody else ever have 
to build another such wall along here nor any other 
decent and respectable country; and may the Scotch 
and English have plenty of cattle instead of men to 
butcher, and may they both treat old Ireland right, and 
all live in peace and harmony together." 

"An extensive and varied toast. I join, however, 
with all my heart ; db imo pectore, Jim, you know." 

" Certainly, that's what I'm after." 

"And now, for Sir Walter's sake, especially, we must 
study well the ground from this to Glasgow, for it is all 
classic." 

"All right." 

After leaving Falkirk, the country, interesting from 
its varied scenery, became intensely so henceforth from 



156 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

its historic and romantic associations. From our window 
we looked out upon the Lennox Hills, from which the 
Carron water descended and flowed across our path. 
Not far off were Airth Castle and Dunmore Park, and 
Tonwood Forest, at one time the hiding-place of Wal- 
lace, at another, the scene of the excommunication of 
Donald Cargill, the fierce Covenanter. Soon we were 
at Bannockburn, seeing to the right, on Abbey Craig, 
the monument of the patriot, and, on the left, the Bare 
Stone of Bruce and Gillie's Hill, where the camp-follow- 
ers struck terror to the English army, and gave victory 
to the Scots. Even from our windows we could see how 
the gathering hills on either side of the Forth made 
narrow the pass from the Lowlands to the Highlands, 
showing how Stirling must have been, of old, a fortified 
position. 

Arrived at the station and taking a carriage, the toil- 
ing horse drew us up the long acclivity to the castle. 
In singular contrast with the narrow streets and squalid 
tenements of the old were the fine promenades and 
groups of villas of the new town. Alighting from the 
carriage, and passing over the esplanade and the draw- 
bridge, we entered the castle beneath the gateway from 
which the portcullis hung threateningly over our heads. 
Most interesting to us both were those places which the 
poet had specially celebrated; the chamber wherein 
Ellen Douglass rested when she came to plead the cause 
of her exiled father; that wherein Rhoderick Dhu 
breathed out his life, while Allan Bane sang the battle 
in which Clan Alpine's honored pine was laid low ; the 
great hall, now occupied by the Highland regiments in 
barracks, wherein the blushing maid discovered in her 
bold suitor the King of Scots. My dear old Jim 



TWO GKAY TOURISTS. 157 

declared that he was enchanted — "is that how you call 
it" — by the sight of these places. He was even glad 
that these old walls had been preserved, as well to 
guard the places where such thrilling events had occurred, 
as for the prospect they gave below us of the winding 
Forth, the fair vale of Menteith stretching miles and 
miles northwest along the Teith, Cambus Kenneth Abbey 
and Bannockburn on which was yet marked the spot 
where the banner of the Bruce was triumphant. Above 
and beyond were Tinto (the Hill of Fire), Arthur's 
Seat, the Lennox, Ochil, and, yet further, the blue out- 
lines of the Grampians. "I don't wonder," he said, 
"that they fought so long to determine which should 
have such a country, and that they had to compromise 
at last. Look down yonder at those wheatfields. They 
look so peaceful that a fellow could hardly believe so 
many battles have been fought upon 'em." 

At this moment we heard the bag-pipes, and turning 
around saw a squad of Highlanders moving to their 
music. 

"I tell you what," said Jim, "don't those tall fellows 
step it right with their gowns and bare legs ? And 
that's the bag-pipe. Poorer music, I would indeed 
seldom. I could do as well with a split goose- quill, or a 
pumpkin-vine." 

On the return, we drove about the town, taking hasty 
views of the Military Hospital (once Argyle House), 
Cowane's Hospital, and Grayfriar's Church, in which 
James VI was crowned. Taking another train at the 
station, after passing the Brig of Allan, we soon were at 
Dunblane, not valued by us for once having been an 
episcopal city, or for giving the title of viscount to the 
Osbornes, as for the little Jessie, it's famous "Flower." 

14 



158 TWO GRAY TOUEISTS. 

While the main railway stem proceeded to Perth, we 
diverged, and coursing down the Teith, came to Donne 
Town, and even here we thought less of the baronial 
castle of the Earls of Menteith and the visits of Mary 
to the Earl of Moray, than the first of that long line 
which made its author the greatest of the romancers. 
We would have checked, if possible, the rushing train 
in order to view more leisurely this region. Thanks to 
the Buchanans, their love for Walter Scott, and his love 
for them. It was here, at Cambus More, he learned 
these mountains, and meads, and lochs, in the midst of 
which he dreamed that sweetest of poet's dreams. 
Across here fled the stag when, startled in Glenartney, 
rushing along Benvoirlich and Uamvar, and despairing 
to reach Lochard or Aberfoyle, he turned and made for 

" The copse wood grey 
That waved and wept on Loch Acray, 
And mingled with the pine trees blue 
On the bold cliffs of Ben venue." 

Jim had had special admonitions from his wife and 
daughters about seeing all he could of this particular 
region, if we should pass over it. He had read over 
again, while in London, The Lady of the Lake, and now 
he studied the map and the poem carefully. 

"It won't do, Phil, for me to be nonplussed 
about that when I get back. I'm going to get all 
that by heart, and make it my trump-card. But I 
should say that that was a slow way of coming at a 
deer. If I had been in that hunt, I should have stood 
for him. I don't believe in this way of breaking down 
horses as well as dogs just for one deer, and, by gracious, 
not get him at that." 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 159 

"Ah, my old Jim, yon would have been after the meat. 
That royal hunter and his gallant followers were for the 
sport, enhanced by the risk, the toil, and the adventure. 
Besides, in those days, game was allowed a chance for 
its life, instead, as in these degenerate times, of being 
waylaid and shot in ambush." 

"Umph! That all sounds well enough in a love 
story. But in those days you talk about, they might 
give a chance to game, but they clid'nt give much to 
folks. They did'nt stick at hiding behind a tree to 
shoot at folks. However, I'm going to see 'em through. 
It was a good long old race, I should say, judging from 
the map, and to let him get away at that. About the 
most sensible thing that Fitz James did, it seems to me, 
was when he acknowledged to his grey horse that he 
had paid too dear for his fun. But like many another 
acknowledgment in this world, it was too late to do any 
good." 

I was on the point of remonstrating with him 
for holding and giving utterance to such common- 
place views of this masterpiece of romantic poetry, 
when the cars suddenly slackened their speed, and we 
drove into Callander, where, in a few minutes, we were 
seated before the door of the Dreadnought Hotel, 
and looking upon the Teith that flowed rapidly by. After 
supper, while we were starting on a stroll, we heard 
lively songs, which seemed to proceed from the rear part 
of our hotel. 

" That sounds like old Georgia, Phil. They are labor- 
ers from the country, who have come to town to spend 
their holiday to-morrow, and are drinking whiskey in 
the kitchen. It's the first whiskey music I've heard 
since I left home." 



160 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

The boys were having a good time. We approached 
near the room where they were feasting, situated on the 
street crossing that on which the hotel fronted. Jim 
listened attentively. After some time, he turned and 
said: 

"It sounds right, but I can't understand one blessed 
word they say. That isn't English. I never heard such 
a language." 

" It is Gaelic," said I. 

The party broke up after finishing their supper, and 
came out upon the street. As soon as Jim ascertained 
that they could speak English, he began to make ac- 
quaintance with them, and by a timely contribution for 
their next day's dinner induced them to talk about their 
work, and translate several expressions from one to the 
other language. 

" Well, that's a language that I did'nt know was yet 
in the world. That language, Gaelic, as you call it, 
seems to be that of the poor people in their talk with 
one another. The learned folks, they tell me, don't 
speak it, and don't know it." 

" With some exceptions, that is true. The Gaelic is 
the native language of the Highlanders, and they have 
not yet given it up. This seems to be the last liberty 
that the vanquished will part from. These people would 
feel that they were unfaithful to the memory of their 
forefathers if they were to do so. They learn the lan- 
guage of their conquerors; but in their domestic and 
social relations, they adhere to their hereditary tongue." 

" I don't blame 'em ; I like 'em the better for it. I 
believe in a people being true to their own folks. It's 
awfully outlandish, but it sounds pretty and affectionate 
like. That's right, boys," he said, turning again to the 



TWO GRAY TOUBISTS. 161 

laborers, " hang on to the language that your mammies 
talked and sung to you when they were suckling and 
rocking you to sleep. And now let's all go in and take 
one more drink and then break up." 

Hauling me along, he went into the kitchen, followed 
by a dozen or fifteen of the Highlanders, and ordered a 
bumper. 

" Here's to your ancestors and forefathers, your fathers 
and mothers, your wives and children, uncles, aunts and 
cousins — Scotch, English, and Irish. Go ahead, boys, 
work hard, be honest, and hang on to your native tongue 
as long as you've got tongues to hang by, and let's all of 
us try to mind our own business and let other people's 
alone." 

The very rafters shook with the applause which this 
sentiment evoked. 

" Now, give me one more song, and then I shall have 
to leave you and put this old gentleman to bed. He's a 
good man, you see, and powerful high-learned and smart, 
but— feeble." 

They applauded again, and at once broke out into a 
mountain song. When it was over, Jim said : 

" Good, very good. I didn't know what it was about, 
but it sounded much like our Georgia corn-song : 

Ando, And-a-a-a 
Turn de wagon over-er-er, 
Ando, And-a-a-a 
Turn de wagon over. 

Now good-bye, boys; may yon always have plenty of 
work to do, and get well paid for doing it." 

We shook hands with each one. and then leaving them 
retired to our chamber. 

14* 



162 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

The next morning, after breakfast, we were on one of 
the great open-topped coaches for Loch Katrine. Just 
before we would have reached St. Bride's we turned sud- 
denly to the left and travelled up the vales of Venna- 
choir and Loch Acray, having to our left Carchowzie 
Woods and Bochastle Eidge. 

" I see they've got a bridge over it now," Jim remarked, 
pointing to Coilintogle Ford. Those two fellows, Fitz 
James and Rhoderic Dhu, had pluck to go to fighting 
there with nobody to part 'em." 

On and on, by Lanric Mead, Duncraggon, the Brigg 
of Turk, and the margin of Achray. Passing Grlenfinlas, 
Ben An rose in rivalry to Ben Ledi, the Trossachs 
bristled before us, and Benvenue loomed to the left 
across Loch Katrine. 

" What ! " said Jim to the coachman, who, in answer 
to the question, what was the name of the Trossachs 
hotel, as we halted to take in a passenger. 

"Ardcheanachrochan." 

"I give it up. Phil, you must put those names down 
in my blank book, with some sort of pronunciation to 
the right of 'em. For the present, give me another name 
for this place." 

" Well, what do you say to The High End of the Rocks? 
for that is what it means." 

"I thought it must mean something. But if their 
idea was to give it a nick-name for short they missed it. 
Now Ben, I can reconcile, and by the way, they name a 
many a thing here Ben ; but I know plenty of Bens in 
Georgia. Right along here somewhere Fitz James lost 
his horse, it seems. None but them that could afford to 
lose horses would ever think of hunting with 'em in 
such places as these. Read what Scott said when he got 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 1G3 

on the top and took his view of the country around." 
Here it is, said I : 

"And now to issue from the glen, 
No pathway meets the wanderer's ken, 
Unless he climb, with footing nice, 
A far projecting precipice. 
The broom's tough roots It's ladder made, 
The hazel saplings lent their aid ; 
And thus an airy point he won, 
Where, gleaming with the setting sun, 
One burnished sheet of living gold 
Loch Katrine lay beneath him rolled, 
In all her length far winding lay, 
With promontory, creek and bay, 
And islands that empurpled bright, 
Floated amid the livelier light, 
And mountains, that like giants stand, 
To sentinel enchanted land. 
High on the south, huge Benvenue 
Down on the lake in masses threw 
Crags, knolls, and mounds confusedly hurled, 
The fragments of an earlier world ; 
A wildering forest feathered o'er, 
His ruined sides and summit hoar, 
While on the north, through middle air, 
Ben An heaved high his forehead bare." 

Jim frankly admitted that he could not have expressed 
it better, though he certainly would have used fewer 
words. 

Arriving at the shore where the little steamer had 
been some time awaiting us, we hurried on board, and 
in a few moments were slowly encircling the island. 
With eager eyes we marked the " aged oak " from which 

"A little skiff shot to the bay," 

and the Lady of the Lake peered across the pebbled 



104 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

shore into the dense hazel shade, from which, instead 
of Douglass or the Graeme, emerged the royal adven- 
turer. Passing the island, we looked upon Ben venue 
and the birch-covered Bealachnambo. The captain, 
while drinking a cup of ale with Jim, pointed out to us 
Coiran-Uriskin whither Ellen and Allan Bane retired 
on the eve of the battle. 

" English names, when they've got 'em, captain, if 
you please. It is'nt worth while for me even to try to 
remember the Scotch ones except these Bens." 

The captain smiled, and anglicizing Bealachnambo 
into Cattle Pass, and Coiran-Uriskin into Goblin's 
Cave, did the like with others as we passed along. 

"Yonder, you see, Phil, at that hole in the ground, 
begins the aqueduct that carries the water from this 
lake to. Glasgow. Well, I envise no man (as Gabe Nash 
says) who has to drink town-water, but if I had it to do, 
this is as clean and nice as I should ever expect to get." 

Landing at Stronachlacker, and taking another coach 
for Inversnaid, the four milk white horses rushed at 
full speed along the declivities and levels of the way, 
giving us little chance to notice the bracken on the 
mountain side to our right, and the marsh shrubbery 
to our left on the tarn extending southward to Loch 
Arklet. Peyond this we could see Ben Lomond the 
loftiest of all beginning the long line of the Grampians. 
Suddenly a shower came down white and soft like snow 
upon us. The coachman did not even lift the leather 
covering from the boot, and laughed at Jim and me as 
we crouched under our umbrellas, which we could 
scarcely hold as we dashed along. 

" I don't see the fun," said Jim, " what is it ? " 

" Kiverrhing feerrom a mist," he answered, laughing 
more and more. 



TWO ftllAY TOURISTS. 165 

"A mist? I cull ifc a rain." 

"Na. Only a mist." 

"But it'll make wet, for it's already got through my 
umbrella and shawl. Ain't you getting wet ? " 

"Na, na. The mist dinna wet the Scotch." 

" I should say you had tolerable thick hides then. If 
you call this a mist, I should'nt like being out travelling 
in one of your rains." 

At Inversnaid, besides a good dinner, Jim on the plea 
of having wet knees and shoulders tried the Scotch 
whiskey. But how anybody could like that smoky stuff 
except occasionally as punch of a cold rainy night, he 
could'nt see. He merely took it now as a brace against 
the mist. 

The scenery on Lochlomond was even finer than that 
in Loch Katrine. 

" Fact," said Jim, " I don't like to give it up, but it's 
so. Along here was Rob Roy's country. He was an- 
other rusher, like Rhoderick Dhu." 

"Yes; just a little behind us up the lake was Craig- 
royston, Rob-Roy's Cove, and — " 

" Look here, Phil, don't you be coming over me with 
them Scotch names. It's enough for these people to do 
that. They come natural to their throats. I say throats; 
for there's where they start from, and they get out of 
their mouths the best way they can. It's enough to 
give a fellow the asthma to try to pronounce 'em. I 
think a little spell of asthma would do good in this 
case. Rob-Roy's Cove, you say ? " 

" Yes ; there is where he held councils with his fol- 
lowers ; it was in the country of the Macfarlane clan." 

" Clans, indeed ! they were what ruined this country." 

"No doubt their feuds contributed most to the 



166 TWO CRAY TOURISTS 

destruction of the separate existence of Scotland. We 
are now in the midst of scenes where many of the most. 
murderous battles were had. It is sad to know that 
snch a lovely region as that around these lochs was ever 
occupied by a bloody-minded people. Glen Einlas, 
Glen Artney, Glen Eruin, Glen Lnss: no tongue and no 
pen can properly describe their matchless beauty, even 
as they appear to the traveller while passing along their 
borders, and noticing how they make their windings 
among the mountains. One is always confounded to 
know how those clans, the Stuarts, MacGregors, Calquo- 
houns, Macfarlanes, so brave, so hardy, and (within 
their limited spheres) so patriotic, should not have 
striven, if they must have been rivals at all, to make 
their own first among equals in a confederacy of States 
that would have been unconquerable. What a sequel to 
the history of Greece! But it is a fact, however un- 
natural, that the deadliest feuds ahvays obtain among 
those, whether clans or families, whose welfare and 
happiness mostly depend upon peace and fraternity. 
We ought to have taken at least one more day, Jim, for 
this tour. Yonder is Kowardennan where tourists begin 
the ascent of Ben Lomond. To say nothing of the moun- 
tains, we should have taken time at least to linger awhile 
among these lovely islands." 

" We would'nt remember the name of a single one of 
'em; at least I would'nt except the first syllable, though 
there's a big family of 'em ; these Bens I know pretty 
well, but I can't go the Inches, as they call their islands. 
Let me hear you call a few of 'em." 

" Easily enough. There's Inchlonaig, the Deer park 
of Sir James Colquhoun." 

" Go ahead." 



TWO (lit AY TOl UI.-7S. 107 

" Inchconachan, Inchtaranach, Inchgalbraith, Inch- 
cruin, Inchcalleoch, Inch " 

"That'll do. You need'nt go any further. You've 
hawked your throat, and made mouths to no purpose. 
You did'nt get one of 'em right ; nowhere in the neigh- 
borhood of being right one single time. I looked and 
listened both to one of those Scotch fellows a few minutes 
ago when he was calling 'em over for me, and he looked 
like another person altogether when he got his mouth 
and face screwed up ready to start. You did'nt begin 
right, Phil, and the longer you kept at it, the further 
off you got. The spelling of 'em has nothing to do 
with the pronouncing of 'em ; not a blessed thing. Yes, 
they are mighty pretty, the prettiest country I ever saw, 
if they'd give names that a body could call and remem- 
ber." 

From right to left, from left to right, in constant 
alternation, we walked in order to see as much as possi- 
ble of noted places, Balmaha, Rossdhu, Buchanan 
House, Glenfruin, Arden, Bilvetero, Cameron and others. 
It was almost with pain we saw the boat come to land. 
Taking the train at Balloch, a few minutes travel down 
the banks of the Leven, brought us to Dunbarton, the 
ancient Alcmyd, " Rock High on the Clyde." 

" Dunbarton ? Is'nt that the place they took Mary, 
Queen of Scots, from when she was a child and carried 
her to France ? " 

" The same. This old castle (how lofty and strong it 
looks !) is full of historic recollections — Roman, Briton, 
Pict, Saxon and Norman." 

Not long afterwards we passed through Bowling and 
Kilpatrick, where, in spite of himself, Jim had to notice 
more of the remains of old Ant'ny's wall, as he called it, 



168 TWO GRAY TOtTRISTS. 

and moving into Glasgow went to the Queen's Hotel 
Having only the rest of that afternoon at our disposal, 
we took a drive through the Irongafce, Queen and 
Buchanan Streets to Kelvin Grove and the university. 
In spite of the general unpicturesqueness of the town, 
compared with Edinburgh, we were most agreeably 
impressed by the many superb edifices, public and 
private. 

" The business, the business that's done in this town," 
said Jim that night, after reading an hour or two of its 
operations and resources, "cotton, iron, ship-building, 
medicines, etc., etc. There's one thing here, however, 
which I expected to see, from the looks of the place : it's 
very unhealthy, especially for children. We did'nt see 
the cathedral, Phil. That's one more, if I had thought 
about it sooner, I should have been willing to go to." 

"I know why. To see the spot where Eob Roy was 
once." 

"Exactly. But we went through the Salt Market 
where old Nicol Jarvie lived, any how." 

" The thing in the cathedral I should specially have 
liked to see is the crypt. That, they say, is the most 
imposing in the kingdom." 

"I don't care about seeing any more of such places 
myself. I tell you, I believe in having graveyards out 
of doors, under the trees, and where there's air." 

Next morning, after a walk around George's Square, 
we took the train for London. As we travelled south- 
ward, the lands in Lanark rose into hills, and in Ayr, 
to the east and southeast, into mountains. Less fertile 
obviously than the eastern shore, yet the crops showed a 
thrifty population. Anything for a living, Jim pro- 
pounded, as we passed along through the towns of Ayr,, 
in some of which, as Mauchline and Crumnoch, the 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 169 

chief manufactures were snuff boxes. He had no fancy 
for the weed in that shape; but that was none of his 
business ; and he did'nt care who had, especially when 
it gives a living to so many poor people. To get that 
out of this sort of land was an up-hill business. No 
wonder Bob Burns, after plowing all his life, looked out 
for a little office. "I've read a good deal about this 
county. It's better for farming now than it was in 
Burns' time, though no great things yet. That rich 
man — what's his name?— the Duke of Portland. He 
has done much for it by his extensive drainings. This 
county has a better system of artificial draining than 
any in the country. What mountains are those away 
over yonder on our right ? It's a bigger country than I 
thought. Oh, I see now by the map, they are the Hills 
of Arran, on the other side of the Firth of Clyde." 

As we passed along, I thought, and I made my com- 
panion interested in Border Minstrelsy. Of the ballads 
I recited, he said he liked best that of Kirhconnell 
lee, and wished, when we were rushing by Kirkcon- 
nell, that we had time to visit the churchyard where 
are the graves, side by side, of Fair Helen and her lover, 
who died on the banks of the Kirtle so long ago. 

" Stop right there," he said, in the midst of my reci- 
tation of Lord Lovel. " Need'nt think I know nothing 
of those old fellows. Why, I can sing that one." 

Then he lifted his voice high and sang the four 
remaining stanzas : 

So lie ordered the grave to be opened wide, 

And the shroud be turned down, 
And there he kissed her clay-cold lips 

Till the tears came trickling down, down, down, 
Till the tears came trickling down. 
15 



170 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

Lady Nancy she died, it might be, to-day, 

Lord Lovel lie died as to-morrow ; 
Lady Nancy she died out of pure, pure grief, 

Lord Lovel he died out of sorrow-orrow-orrow, 

Lord Lovel he died out of sorrow. 

Lady Nancy was laid in St. Pancras's Church, 

Lord Lovel was laid in the choir ; 
And out of her bosom there grew a red rose, 

And out of Lord Lovel's a brier-ier-ier, 

And out of Lord Lovel's a brier. 

They grew and they grew, to the church-steeple top, 
And then they could grow no higher ; 

And there they entwined in a true lover's knot, 
Eor all lovers true to admire-ire-ire, 
For all lovers true to admire. 

In Dumfries pleasing was the contrast between the 
rugged country behind us with the gentle undulations 
along the Nith. At Langholm, we had a glimpse of 
Langholm Tower, once the castle of the Armstrongs, 
now of the Dukes of Buccleugh. At Dumfries town I 
alluded to the death of John Comyn by the hands of 
Robert Bruce. 

" Such as that is all over with here now. You see 
little ships come up to this town to bring coal and slate, 
iron, tallow, hemp, bones, and carry off hats, stockings, 
leather, shoes, and even baskets." 

" Well ! if that is not a coming down from thoughts 
of claymore, and battle axe, and treading to the music 
of bag-pipes to — tallow, and stockings, and basket- 
making ! " 

" Coming down ! thunder and lightning ! they never 
commenced coming up in this country until they got to 
making baskets and such things, and having something 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 171 

to put in 'em. It was basket-making, as you call it, 
that kept from dying out what few of them had'nt got 
killed in the wars. As for those old bag-pipes, of all 
the music in this world, not even except bell-ringing, it 
is the poorest I noticed you, Phil, when they were 
blowing the everlasting things at Stirling ; you looked 
as if you were trying your best to believe the music 
was good, but you could'nt make it out." 

" Oh, I enjoyed it deeply, Jim. I was being carried 
back to the brave old days when— ah — " 

" Yes, I think it is — ah ! And as for stockings, these 
Highlanders never wore 'em because they could'nt afford 
to, and now, when they can, they don't, because their 
ancestors did'nt. But considering they don't wear 
breeches, I think stockings would come in now very 
well to hide some of their nakedness and a heap of 
their dirt." 

Such and similar was the talk we had as we travelled 
along, through Euthwell ; and Cummurtrus, where we 
looked upon Kinmount House, the stately residence of 
the Marquis of Queensbury; and through the vale of 
Annan to Gretna Green. Jim expressed a curiosity to 
know the probable number of runaway matches joined 
here that had turned out well. I remarked that he was 
a great man for statistics. "Yes," he answered, "I 
always want to know how many. I never see a flock of 
geese that I don't try to count 'em, or, when I can't, 
guess at 'em. Somehow, this is a satisfaction to me. 
Well, here we part from old Scotland. Fare you well. 
Old lady : proud as you are of what you used to be with 
your claymores, and battle axes, and slogans, and coro- 
nachs, and what all, you are better off now with making 
snuff-boxes, and stockings, and baskets, and all such as 



172 TWO GRAY TOUEISTS. 

give your poor people a plenty to eat. Farewell, and 
may you never go back on yourself, is the wish of yours 
respectfully." 

He waived an adieu backward as we passed the bridge. 

More fertile and picturesque the country became as it 
widened from the Solway. Passing through Carlisle, 
while I dwelt upon King Arthur, the Round Table, 
Adrian's Well, and the castle of William Rufus, my 
companion talked of the dye, and prints, and leather, 
and salmon trade of the new town. He calculated that 
between us, Ave would get the most of what was worth 
getting in this country, I the old and he the new. 

" I'ts well you had me with you, Phil." 

"No doubt about that, Jim. You've taught me 
already more of the snuff-box and basket business than 
I thought was possible to be in them." 

"And you — if you would study more about such 
things, you'd be a richer man, and — no, you are right, 
and you suit me exactly, Phil. You are making me 
notice the things which Emily and the girls told me I 
had to see and tell 'em about. You better believe I'll 
talk to 'em right about Ellen's Isle, and Dumbarton, 
and the claymore, and all those old fellows. Still, I like 
to find out, as I go along, what it is that makes the pot 
boil." 

More lovely yet the prospect from Carlisle to Penrith. 
On the east and on the west, beyond the valleys and the 
lower hills, were the Fells, and we could descry in the 
w r est, towering high above all, Skiddaw. Penrith lies 
snugly in the. vale of the Edmont and the Lowther, 
while on the neighboring heights are Brougham and 
Eden Halls, and Dacre Castle. Crossing the Edmont 
into Westmoreland, gliding along between the Lowther 



TWO GEAY TOURISTS. 173 

and the tributary waters of the Eden, we looked out 
with continual delight upon the increasing fells and 
mountains. 

" What a people these English are, Phil. It makes no 
difference what sort of region they live in, they are 
going to conquer it. See, on this map, what little 
ground is fit for cultivation. Not a tenth is plowed, 
and not a quarter fit for pasturage. Yet, see the large 
towns where money is made every year by the million, 
Appleby, Orton, Kendal, Kirkby, Ambleside, Tibay, Low 
Gill — what's his name ? Still a fellow can call 'em. 
Out of these lakes they export fish, and from the moun- 
tains they get granite, slate, marble, copper, and lead ; 
and what else would you suppose ? Why, geese ; geese 
by the hundred thousand. And now I see, we are leav- 
ing the valley of the Lowther, and getting into that of 
the Line, and at Kendal will enter that of the Ken, 
which widens into the Bay of Moncambe." 

Again in Lancashire. Farming and cattle raising to 
Jim's content, and manufacturing, and everything else. 
None of your Lancasters and Gaunts now. John of 
Gaunt'-s castle, like that at York, holds business-offices. 
No more fighting for Roses, old friend, but working for 
victuals and good clothes, and houses and fat cattle, and 
living on till it is the good Lord's time to die, instead of 
falling down with daylight put through their bodies with 
sword or musket-ball. We don't stop at Lancaster ; no, 
not until we get to Preston. Priest- town, eh ? of old, 
because of the number of priests that used to live here. 
A solid town, he should say, from the looks, and much 
bigger than he thought. Three hundred thousand bales 
of cotton a year manufactured here. " I tell you what, 
Phil, we've been pretty well through this country, 
have'nt we ? " j5* 



174 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

" Rigodunnm ! " said I, closing my book. 

"Rigger-what?" 

" Rigodunum. That is the name of the old Roman 
town, on the ruins of which the present one arose." 

"That's another bit of history that had entirely 
escaped my recollection. You would'nt have supposed, 
would you, that I'd haye forgot as notorious a fact as 
that? Ah, a treacherous memory, as old Jack Pool 
told his brethren at Big Bethel when they reminded 
him of his promise not to get drunk any more before 
Christmas. Well, we'll let old Riggy depart in peace. 
I think a little chicken and beer and Scotch bread will 
do you good, Phil. A man that can think right along 
here of Rigodunum shows his stomach is empty." 

He opened the basket and uncorked the bottles. We 
ate, and drank, and smoked at our leisure. The re 
mainder of our journey to London, as we had passed 
over most of the ground before, we spent in comparing 
our impressions from what we had seen in our rapid 
circuit. Jim said it made him a little homesick to turn 
his back on old Georgia again ; but, oh ! it was such a 
consolation to know how faithfully he was taking care 
of his feeble old friend. 

"Just so." 

"Adzactly." 




CHAPTER XIV. 




FTER much consideration as to a route for a 
brief journey to the Continent, we concluded 
to pass at once to Belgium, and after a visit 
to the Rhine and Switzerland, return by Paris. 
At the station in London, when we were about taking 
the train for Harwich, a trifling incident occurred that 
made known to us a system of travel of which, although 
considerably practiced hitherto, we were ignorant. We 
had already selected our carriage, stowed away our lug- 
gage, and were walking up and down the platform when 
we observed a short, brisk German, plainly dressed, 
wearing a small leathern valise at his side, which was 
strapped over his shoulders. He went about hurriedly 
among the crowd, speaking occasionally first to one then 
another, darting here and there as if in search of some- 
thing of momentous importance. Those whom he 
addressed would follow him implicitly to the different 
carriages and be shoved in, while he would sing out, 
" Dish way, dish way, you, here," and " Dare, dish 
way !" to others to whom he was beckoning. Jim was 
amused by his actions, and remarked that, considering 
his size and looks, the little Dutchman seemed to have 
a surprising amount of business; and that in fact, by 
gracious, he believed he Avas actually shipping people. 
A moment afterwards, the man, returning near where we 

(175) 



176 TWO OKAY TOURISTS. 

stood, and looking first upon a paper which he licit! in his 
hand, and, then around him, suddenly darted upon Jim, 
and Beizing him by the coat, tails, asked: 

"Arrah you a Cuke?" 

Jim recoiled a step in blank amazement. 

"Arrah you a Cuke?" persisted the German, with 
much earnestness. 

" Well, now, my friend, you arc a good deal smaller 
man than I am, and then I rather think you ain't in 
your souses. I don't care about raising a fuss with you, 
because I'm a long way from home, and you are too 
little a scrub for me to take the trouble to learn you 
some manners. But I recommend you to be off, and — " 

"I pegs partenj I taught you was vone off te Cukes." 

The rapidity with which all this transpired prevented 
me from explaining what, 1 had just ascertained from a 
bystander, was the man's business. 

"What upon earth does the little idiot mean?" asked 
Jim. 

Seeing me smiling, the ridiculousness of his own posi- 
tion occurred to him, and he laughed aloud. Yet he 
continued looking inquiringly at the retreating German: 

"Is the fellow a fool?" 

" Not he : far from it." 

"My opinion is that he is, or, at least, out of his 
senses for once. I've travelled a good deal in my time. 
True, I'm further from home than 1 ever was before, 
and, maybe, am coming down in my looks more than 1 
was thinking: but this is the first time that I was ever 
taken for a cook." 

I could not bear to laugh at him further, and handed 
to him a circular oi' Cooh's Tourist Agency that I had 
just gotten, in which it was to be seen that this person 



TWO Git AY TOUK1STS. 177 

was one of that gentleman's agents, and on the eve of 
starting with a party of travellers on his tickets ; and 
that he had mistaken Jim for one of those whom he 
was to conduct. 

"Is that so?" said he, humbly. "Well, no; the 
little fellow ain't a fool. If there's any fool in the case 
— I always was too quick. I might have known — " he 
hesitated to pay himself the compliment. 

"Certainly. And yet you know, Jim, that they have 
some cooks, or at least waiters, over here that are very 
fine-looking men." 

"Oh, get out. I owe you one, and I owe that little 
fellow one more. Did you see how I jumped when he 
came at me ? Blamed if I did'nt feel like I've felt 
sometimes when a little fice snapped at my legs. A 
little more, and I should have given him a kick, which 
I would'nt grudge a thousand dollars that I did'nt." 

Jim was delighted with what it was easy to see, the 
agricultural advantages and industries of the county of 
Essex, which we crossed from southwest to northeast on 
the dividing line between the picturesque, rising, wooded 
country on the left, and the low-lying, well-drained 
arable land on the right. 

"Just look at that wheat. I've heard of the Essex 
wheat and the Essex calves. They raise here thousands 
of calves and sheep for the London market. Great 
quantities of saffron, too, and hops, caraway and such 
This county is the principal kitchen-garden for London. 
A big town, and a big garden. London keeps down all the 
towns in this part of the country. This is a right nice- 
looking little place, though; what do you call it? 
Chelmsford? Two more rivers, I see, the Chelmer and 
the Cann. They call every little spring branch over 



178 TWO GKAY TOUEISTS. 

here a river. I see they put down nine for this county. 
All of 'em together would'nt make one as big as the 
Savannah at Augusta." 

The rush for berths at Harwich was great. But Jim, 
with his usual good management, succeeded at once in 
making terms with the steward, and, as usual, pleaded 
the advanced age and infirmities of his old friend. 

"Pretty good capital, Phil, for us both. You keep 
quiet. You need'nt be afraid of being taken to be too 
much older than I am. Besides, you don't expect to 
marry in this country, no how." 

"One would suppose you did from the manner in 
which you vaunt your youth, and propose to fight young 
men." 

" That reminds me — " and he walked away. A few 
moments afterwards, when the steamer was under weigh, 
I saw him and the little German sitting down together 
on one of the benches with a bottle of beer between 
them, tipping their glasses, smoking cigars, and chatting 
in a lively manner. Approaching where they were, Jim 
rose and introduced me to — ah, Mr. Snapper ? 

" Schnauffer. Your fren was trought tat I call him 
vone cuke, te cuke tat cake te beeve and te sheeken. It 
was ver funny." 

"You have quite a number of Cooks with you," I 
answered. 

"Saxteen, Americ, Scost, Inglis, Wels. Te most 
Americ. Tay spheak not te Ooropen langidge, and it is 
more convenabble tat I go vit tern." 

He showed us his route, and one of his books of 
tickets and coupons. It is certainly a method of trav- 
elling convenient to those who speak no language but 
English, and could be satisfied with the hotels to which 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 179 

they are carried, the enforced companionship through- 
out of those with whom they start together, and the 
will of the guide as to the times of sojourning at the 
different places on the route. 

We retired early and slept satisfactorily. When I 
awoke the next morning, Jim was already up and on 
deck. I rose, dressed myself, and joined him. 

"Everything looks outlandish to me. The very ships, 
so black and flat, don't seem natural. We are already 
in the river you say Antwerp is on. What do you 
call it?" 

"The Scheldt." 

" You may call it that, or anything else you please 
for me. I don't expect to get anything right in pro- 
nouncing what little of that business I shall have to do 
over here. What a flat country ; a dead level with the 
sea. But ain't there many a windmill? No wonder. 
Any quantity of wind always about to move 'em. Plenty 
of water, too, as to that, but it's got no fall. I feel like 
I was already a thousand miles further off than I was 
this time yesterday. I want to get through this part of 
the trip as soon as possible. You are the only man, 
Phil, on top of the ground that I would ever have come 
with this far from home." 

The sight of the ancient city revived his spirits much. 
It does present a fine view to the approach with its 
immense basin ; crowded with ships, and its numerous, 
lofty spires. Jim kept close to my side when the boat 
landed. Passing our luggage without difficulty before 
the custom-house officers, we went ashore and took a 
carriage for the hotel. 

" Easier than I expected," said Jim ; " what did that 
fellow ask you ? " 



180 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

" Whether we had any tobacco or cigars." 

" Tobacco and cigars ! why that's what they asked us 
at Liverpool. They must be the main things they 
smuggle over here. But, now, do let me ask you : did 
you ever see such horses since you were born? I've 
heard of the Flemish horses; but these are a hickory 
over what I expected. Look at those two bays hitched 
to that wagon or cart, or whatever kind of a whimididdle 
it is. They'd weigh over two thousand pounds apiece. 
And what a load. A yoke of oxen could'nt draw as 
much, nor seem more awkward. They don't look as if 
they could trot at all. And those collars! They must 
have cheap leather to waste it that way in collars. I tell, 
you everything over here looks outlandish to me." 

Leaving our luggage at the hotel, we spent the couple 
of hours before lunch in driving around. 

" Pretty solid buildings," said Jim, after we had seen 
the Exchange, the Hotel de Ville, the Maison Ansiatic, 
and the palace erected for the occasional sojourn of the 
royal family. " Better than I expected to see. As for 
this street, Place de — something — Meir, it's the prettiest 
we've seen anywhere. I should say, though, that this 
town isn't as big as it used to be. It looks, especially at 
the end behind us, as if its been worn out in that direc- 
tion and then cut off." 

" That's just the fact. Antwerp used to contain two 
hundred thousand. Now it has very many less. The 
towns on the coast have competed with it. It used to 
have a monopoly of the commerce on the waters of the 
North Sea." 

"All right. I'm against monopolies of all kinds, for 
towns or folks. Let everybody have a fair chance." 

I persuaded him to enter with me into the cathedral. 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 181 

"I'll go with yon/ 7 said he, "to a few of 'em; but I 
tell you, Phil, they're too tiresome and solemn for me to 
spend much of my time at." 

He was, however, more interested than I expected him 
to be. Indeed, few persons could view without interest 
this great edifice, and especially those pictures that adorn 
its walls. He looked long at The Descent from the Cross, 
and remarked, after we went out, that it was the most 
natural looking picture of that kind that he had yet 
seen. 

" Those faces look more like real people than any of 
them in the pictures of what you call the old masters." 

" Tkat is because Eubens painted from living persons. 
Some of the figures are portraits of his relatives and 
friends." 

" I don't know so well about that," said he, with a 
somewhat troubled look. 

"Nor I either." 

We had dismissed the coachman on entering, and now 
but for Jim's clearness of head in the matter of locality 
we should have had some difficuly in finding the hotel. 
As it was, after winding here and there, often against 
my remonstrance that we were going precisely wrong, 
we made our way in good time. 

" I can't speak their language, Phil ; but I'm as hard 
to fool about places as a pig." 

"A pig?" 

" Yes, sir, a pig. There isn't an animal on the face of 
the earth, not even excepting a pigeon, that has as clear 
ideas about places as a pig." 

Not having time for the discussion of this point, we 
hastily took our lunch and were on the train for Brus- 
sels. When we were fairly out of Antwerp, Jim began 
Iris remarks upon the country. 1G 



182 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

"A mighty difference between this and England — pop- 
lars instead of paks, poplars, poplars — Lombardy poplars! 
and in straight rows. No hills either; no branches and 
creeks. Give me England and Scotland before a dead 
level like this. But this people know how to work it. 
By ditching and underdraining they've knocked the bot- 
tom out from the crawfish and tadpoles. There isn't 
anything like getting used to a thing." 

As we traveled, the country became more picturesque > 
yet the long, double rows of poplars could not compen- 
sate for the clumps of wide-spreading oaks on English 
hill-sides, and the winding willow shades on the clear 
brooks. As we passed through Malines, Jim remarked 
that he had never heard of that place. 

'• But it is an important town," said I, " and bears to 
Belgium the same relation that Clapham sustains to 
England. One may take the cars here for any place in 
the country. That Cathedral is seven hundred years 
old. Kubens' picture of the Last Sup2)er is in that ; his 
Adoration of the Magi is in that of St. John's. In the 
Church of the Eecollets is The Crucifixion of Vandyke. ,J 

In Brussels, at the Hotel de la Clos. 

Jim felt as if he was further and further from home 
as we sat, after dinner, in the court looking around at 
the quaint walls and windows, the flower-pots and shrub- 
bery, and the small aquarium in the corner near the 
door of the dining-room, and listened to the strange 
mixture of French and Flemish of the busy domestics. 

" So little like old Georgia. Such talking! Even if 
a body could pick up a few of their words, these people 
talk so fast they would all run into one. I always like 
to talk with people whenever I travel. I shall have to 
put up with you, Phil, until we cross this channel again." 



TWO GRAY TOUKISTS. 183 

I consoled him with the assurance that lie would meet 
many Americans, and those among Europeans who could 
speak English. 

The next morning he joined the Cook party, who had 
reached Brussels later, in a visit to Waterloo, while I 
went to St. Guclule, the Churches of Notre Dame, des Vic- 
toires, de la Chapelle, and the Hotel de Ville, wherein the 
abdication of Charles V took place in the year 1555. After 
his return we drove around, seeing, among others, the 
palace of Laeken, once the residence of Josephine, where 
Napoleon signed the declaration of war against Prussia. 

Brussels is certainly beautiful — most beautiful, next 
to Edinburgh, and surpassing it in public walks. The 
Boulevards with their lime trees, the Allee Verte along 
the canal from the town to the Scheldt, the park, Royal 
palace, and the superb public offices, inspired us with 
admiration. Jim was running over with recollections 
of the sights at Waterloo. I tried to speak of the revo- 
lution of 1830, which resulted in Belgian independence 
and the elevation to the throne of Leopold of Saxe 
Coburg. But he came at me with Waterloo, whose great 
battle he had never fully understood until to day, when 
he went over the very ground. So we made short 
speeches apiece. As we passed a shop where the manu- 
facture of laces was carried on, at his suggestion, we 
alighted and entered. Entertaining as this was, yet it 
was painful to look upon these poor women as they bent 
over their tasks, and with strained eyes brought almost 
in contact with the gossamer threads, they moved back 
and forth with marvellous rapidity, the numerous black, 
wooden handles that dangled upon the boards. 

The next morning early we were off again. Jim was 
quite satisfied to diverge from the party of the Little 
Dutchman. 



184 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

"Too much following like sheep. He did the think- 
ing and the talking. It's convenient, but I like to think 
for myself, even if I can't tongue it out. Besides, he 
don't talk well enough for one man, let alone fifteen." 

At Louvain we turned abruptly to the right, and sped 
along the fine country to the southeast. The approach 
to Liege through the fertile valleys of the Meuse and 
the Ourthe bringing us to the sudden summits of Sainte 
Walburg and Le Oornillon was enchanting. Jim said 
here was another Birmingham, but not half as healthy. 
Did anybody ever see such high houses and such narrow 
streets ? The sun never gets into some of them. And 
what was I straining to see with my glasses — " 

" St. Denis, St. Croix, St. Martin, and St. Bartolemy, 
and the cathedral. You have read Quentin Durward, 
have'nt you, Jim ? " 

" Certainly. I forgot that some of the scenes are laid 
here." 

" The present Palais de Justice was the bishop's palace 
in the times of the Dukes of Burgundy." 

" Those old fellows, according to Scott, made a mis- 
take in taking up with the Wild Boar of — what was it ? " 

"Ardennes. This whole country used to be the foot- 
ball of the tyrants of Europe, and, you know, is yet the 
fighting ground for the neighboring great powers. But 
the people, who can't help that and who are naturally 
fond of peace, take the best care of themselves possible 
until the wars are over, go to work again, get richer and 
richer from all their resources, and now Belgium is the 
most populous country in Europe." 

At Pepinster, we turned to the northeast, where 
another lovely valley appeared, that of the Vesdres, 
with its background of dark green hills. Shortly after 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 185 

passing Verviers, we entered the territory of Prussia, 
but without knowing this fact when Ave changed cars. 
Before starting off again, a stern-looking, full-bearded 
man, dressed iu brown uniform, suddenly thrusting his 
head through the window, addressed to us some words in 
curt and apparently threatening tones. I guessed at his 
office, and, taking down my valise, started to open it. The 
man who brought him there, and who had acted as 
guard on the train we had left, showed his remembrance 
of Jim's civility in giving him a glass of beer not long 
before, by speaking to the officer in an assuring tone, 
and he immediately left us. 

" What in this world did that fellow want, Phil ? " 
"He is, doubtless, a Prussian custom house officer." 
" Upon my word, when he began — I was looking out 
of the window over there — I thought it was a dog 
growling at you ; and when I turned and saw that hairy 
face, I was'nt much better off. He must have been 
cussing about something. If the balance of the people 
over here have no better manners than that, the sooner 
we get out of this country the better. Let's do the 
best we can with this lunch and Ehine wine. I've got 
my native appetite yet, if I have lost my speech." 

A soothing influence upon us both, these, and cigars 
afterwards. Jim sat with his legs in the window as 
complacently as if he had been in his own piazza, and 
surveying his own cornfields. I told him after a while 
that he must stir about, as we were approaching classic 
ground. 

" Explain yourself," said he, lazily shifting his cigar 
to the other corner of his mouth. 

"This is Aix-la-Chapelle, the famous Aquae of the 
Romans. A little farther on, that little town, Duren 

16* 



186 two okay roi EUSTS, 

on the Boer, which you see on the map, was the ancient 

Mareodornm. The Emperor Charlemagne, destroyed 
that town; this was his favorite residence. 
u Bight nice-looking old burg. Trace her back, Phi), 

and tell me another time. That wine is first-rate, but it 
has made me sleepy." 

" What ! sleep here in the very presence of the Roman 
legions, of Charlemagne and his Paladins. oi' Tacitus 
and his Germain' a, and within half an hour o( the Rhine 
and Cin'fas Cbiorum?" 

"Never better: those very names make me go it 
easier." 

While he was taking his nap, I mused undisturbed on 
the eventful history oi' the country. In half an hour, 
this day's journey came to its end, and we were at the 
Hottl Holland* in Cologne. Having at our disposal 
only that afternoon, we made tin 1 most ot' our time. 
Jim's observations of the old city seemed peculiar. I 
shall let him speak for himself. 

"Phil." he said that night, "my ideas oi' churches 
have got turned upside down since we've been over here. 
Now a church, I always thought, was a house — (big or 
little, according to the size oi' the town or the member- 
ship) — was a house where people could go to meeting of 
a Sunday morning, hear a good, bad, or indifferent 
sermon, and then shut up the house until meeting-day 
comes around again. Over here they go to work build- 
ing churches, like they were building towns. Now, the 
idea of being six or seven hundred years at t his old 
cathedral, and, by gracious, not done with it yet. They 
first put up one part. After a while, somebody comes 
along, and runs another part across it. or alongside of 
it. Two or three hundred years afterwards, somebody 



TWO GRAY TOUBI8TS. 187 

else pieces on to it what he calls a chapel, and other 
people piece on more chapels, until it is perfectly aston- 
ishing how big and rambling it will get to be after a 
while. AVhy, a fellow might get lost— you would every 
time — in that building mixed up with those chapels 
and pillars. I counted a hundred of them, some of 'em 
ten feet thick. And then there don't seem to be any 
particular time for holding meetings, preaching or 
prayer meetings. People go in at all times, many of 
'em one at a time, and everybody appears to have his 
prayers all to himself. But ain't they rich ? But now, 
what good it does to keep so many jewels and so much 
silver and gold in a church I can't understand. We 
must have seen hundreds of thousands of dollars worth 
there to day. Who does it belong to ? That's the ques- 
tion. And what good does it do locked up there ? I 
know it isn't any of my business ; but I would like to 
know what good it does, or what they expect it to do, 
this dead capital. But the having graveyards in 'em, 
that gets me the worst of all. I can't feel reconciled to 
people being buried in houses, and being walked over, 
and especially having their bones kept to show to 
people. They may be The Three Kings,* as they call 
'em, but I've no fancy for looking at the head, even of a 
king, when it's off his shoulders. But as for that 
matter, don't that other old church, St. Ursula f take 
the lead in bones ? Literally lined with 'em. Eleven 
thousand virgins! and that other one with the The- 

* In the chapel of the Three Kings or Magi whose bones were brought 
thrre from Constantinople by the Empress Helena. 

t (n honor of St. Ursula, the English princess wl.o, according to the 
legend, on her return from Rome, whithi r she had been on a pilgrimage, 
was murdered near Cologne with her 11,000 virgins, whose bones are pre- 
served in cases placed around the church. 



188 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

bans! | I'm not going to folloAv you any more into 
such places. I've got so confused already, that I'm 
getting, it seems to me, to forget what churches were 
meant for. Well, well, it's a curious old town, take it 
by and large; and the dirtiest I should never wish to 
see. I should think, with all the riches in their cathe- 
dral, they might raise money enough somewhere to have 
some of the biggest of this dirt taken up and hauled 
away. Did anybody ever run up against such smells ? 
They'll have to make more Cologne water than they do 
to help that cause, and they say they make it here by 
the thousand. Maybe they send it all away, and don't 
use any themselves. No wonder it was invented here. 
That old fellow, T expect, lived in one of the dirtiest 
streets in the town, and learned how to make something 
that would take the everlasting smell out of his nostrils. 
It was a relief to get out of town this hot evening, and 
take that boat up to the zoological gardens. They are 
delightful. I've no doubt the people go there in such 
crowds mostly to get rid of the smells in the town. 
They work all day, and get their lungs and noses full 
of 'em, and then go out there for a little fresh, clean 
air before going to bed. That part of the trip here I 
enjoyed in spite of that rascal of a guide I knew he 
was a scamp as soon as, without our asking him, he 
took us to that cologne-water shop, and I noticed him 
give a wink to the store-keeper. You'd have bought 
there if I had lit pinched you. I knew they did'nt have 
the best article there, just from the looks of both of 
'em. That guide won't forget us soon, I bet." 

X >>t. Gereon! Dedicated to the Theban Legion with their captains, 
Geivon and (iivgory, who were martyred there in the time of Diocle- 
tian. Several hundreds of their skulls are arranged around the choir 
^nder gilded arabesques. 



TWO GKAY TOUEISTS. 189 

The officers at the hotel were certainly not select in 
the matter of the guide whom they furnished to us. 
Jim had whispered to me at the cologne-water shop that 
he was not to be trusted. So we left without purchasing 
and went to another place. At the gardens we listened 
to the finest music that I ever have heard from a band 
of entirely wind instruments. They played several 
pieces of my selection. After which I sent, at Jim's 
suggestion, the guide to the musicians to join us in a 
glass of beer. In settling for it, I handed several pieces 
of money. Jim narrowly watched the guide as he made 
the change. The musicians having left us to return to 
the stand, I was about to put into my pocket the money 
returned to me, when Jim broke in thus: 

"A few more of them grochen, or whatever you call 
'em. You have'nt given back the right change. If my 
friend is willing to submit to the cheat, I ain't." 

The man at first looked somewhat defiant, and then 
began to argue. 

" Stuff and nonsense ! I don't know what the Dutch 
for that is. But you understand me. Fork over the 
needful." 

He put his hand to his head and frowned upon the 
money thoughtfully, and said : 

" Yath, yath. I believe—" 

"Yath! Yath! No doubt about it. There, that's 
it. Put it in your pocket, Phil. And now we've got 
sense enough surely to find our way back by ourselves, 
and may let this fellow go. See here, my honest friend," 
(turning to the man,) "you see this watch? We hired 
you by the hour. You've been with us for exactly three 
hours and twenty-five minutes to a second. Here's the 
money for four hours. Now, you can go. None of your 



190 TWO (iK.VY TOURISTS. 

grumbling. Off with you, or I will have you arrested 
for the money you kept when you bought us (he cigars. 

You see that if I don't understand your language, 1 
know some of your ways." 

We found afterwards that there was a general com- 
plaint among tourists concerning these guides (toutors) 
at Cologne. 

Our chamber was within a stone's throw of the Rhine. 
For some time after Jim retired, I sat in the window 
looking out and listening to its waters. 

w Suppose you talk me to sleep, Phil, about this town.'' 

''Well. I was just thinking of the eventful destiny of 
her who was born here, and iti honor of whom the town 
was named and a colony established." 

" You don't mean that the town was named after some- 
body that was born in it ? That looks like putting the 
cart before the horse." 

"Yes, indeed. This was the old Oppidum Ubiorum" 

"You don't tell me so. That name needed a change, 
certain." 

"While Germanicus was here stationed to keep down 
the fierce tribes that Agrippa had transported across the 
river, his daughter Agrippina, by his wife of the same 
name, grand-daughter oi^ Augustus Caesar, was born." 

"Upon my word, I thought that woman was born at 
— somewhere else — a little farther tip the river — or down 
it, I disremember which. Aggy, who, did you say?" 

"Agrippina, daughter of Germanicus, grand-daughter 
of Yipsanius Agrippa, and great grand-daughter of 
Augustus." 

"Gracious me! Rut I don't see how you get Cologne 
out of any of those names." 

" I'll tell you. After the death of her husbands, Gneus 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 191 

Domitius Ahenobarbus and Crispus Passienus, Agrip- 
pina married — " 

" You don't mean to say she married again after bury 
ing all those men ? " 

" There were only two of them." 

" I thought it was about five. Old Aggy seemed to 
like the married life. Go ahead ; I have'nt heard better 
talking to put a man to sleep in some time. Who did 
the Avidow catch next ? " 

" The Emperor Claudius, her uncle." 

" Her uncle? Get out ! Was'nfc there any law against 
that?" 

" Yes ; but in their case it was avoided by a decree of 
the Senate." 

" That did'nt keep it from being a sin and a shame." 

"And then she prevailed upon her husband to enlarge 
the town into a colony, and had it named Colonia Ag- 
grippinensis." 

" That was — very fine. How did they — get on after — *' 

" Badly. Claudius had already murdered his former 
wife, Messalina. After his marriage with Agrippina, 
she prevailed upon him to set aside from the succession 
his own son Britannicus, in favor of her son Nero. When 
Claudius intimated his purpose of restoring Britannicus 
she poisoned him with mushrooms. After Nero's acces- 
sion, in her ambition to control him, she overreached 
herself, and he had her assassinated in her villa on the 
Lucrine Lake." 

The measured breathing from Jim's bed announced 
that he was asleep. I sat some time musing upon the 
ancient and mediaeval history of the place and went to 
sleep at last, thankful for having seen the great Dom, 
made, through centuries of pious endeavors, so fit for 
the worship of God. 



CHAPTER XV. 




N" hour's ride next morning in the new part of 
Cologne and a stroll in the fine gardens with- 
out the walls, tended to subdue some of my 
companion's hostility. But, he urged, that of 
all the towns he had seen that which had " old walls " 
around them, this was the one from which it would be 
most sensible to have them removed, so as to give room 
for some of the Avorst of the noisome odors to get out of 
it. At ten o'clock we were on the boat for Mayence. 
At once I opened my map, a " Panorama of the Rhine," 
which I had purchased the day before. 

" You look, from the length of that map, as if you had 
a good long geography lesson to get.*' 

" Yes, sir ; I'm going to learn all I can to-day about 
this river from Cologne to Mayence." 

" Go ahead ; tell me something occasionally which you 
think they'd be apt to ask me about at home, but not too 
much. My head's pretty well packed now, and not 
otherwise in very good order." 

Among the Americans and English on board he soon 
made acquaintances. Occasionally, as he passed by me in 
his promenades on the deck, lie Mould address some 
remark of playful encouragement of my studies or of 
praise of the scenery around us. 

(192) 



TWO GKAY TOUK1STS. 193 

"Stick to it, my son; I know it's hard, for I've been 
all along there and got many a whipping. Still yon can 
get it if yon .don't get discouraged and give it up, but 
will keep at it. And then you'll be so smart, you know, 
and feel so good that you had it to do. Pretty fair 
farming country this ; and though there ain't as many 
windmills as in Belgium, still there's a plenty, I should 
say, for all reasonable neighborhood purposes. But, 
hello! here's a considerable of a town over yonder to the 
right. What is it ? and tell me an item or two ; I hope 
it ain't Roman. By the way, I went to sleep sure enough 
while you were talking about that widow. Those big 
old names were as good as a dose of laudanum." 

"You don't need laudanum nor any other soporific 
when your head gets upon a pillow. That is Bonn. 
Read what the guide book says about it." 

"No, sir; no time to be reading books now, and no 
great fancy for reading 'em very much any time, I'm 
ashamed to say — at least on such subjects as old towns. 
You were to do up the reading over here, yon know." 

" Bonn is not a large place, but a very old and import- 
ant one. All I can say about it now is, that the Miinster 
was started by the Roman Empress Helena, that a garri- 
son is here, an observatory, a university, and botanical 
gardens." 

'■You may put off about the Roman empress until to- 
night, bed time." 

" Here's a little bit of romance, Jim ; you'll read that 
at least. We will come to the scene presently." 

I gave him the guide-book and pointed out the account 
of the unhappy Roland, the remains of whose castle, 
Kolandseck, after passing the Seven Mountains, we 
reached. 

17 



11)4 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

" Poor fellow ! But I should'nt have done any such 
thing as that. When I got back from the wars and 
found the girl, hearing I was dead, had gone into that 
convent — but look here, man, would'nt they have let her 
off when they knew that she had gone there under a mis- 
take of the facts ? " 

" No, Sir ; she was as dead to him there in Nunnen- 
werth as if she had been in her grave." 

"Well, I should'nt have settled on that hill, just to 
be able to see all the time where she was, but I'd have 
gone off as far as I could get." 

"And married some other woman, doubtless." 

" Not improbable. However, that would have looked 
mean, and nothing good ever comes out of meanness. It 
was a hard case all around." 

Surely there is no where else so enchanting scenery as 
that from Bonn to Ooblentz. The country itself, aside 
from historic and romantic associations, seemed emi- 
nently suited as a theatre for stirring events. The vari- 
ations of mountain and vale, the remains of fortresses 
apparently impregnable by all assaults except those of 
time, united with these the memory of Roman, German, 
and French prowess, of Paladin and Crusader, are so 
crowded upon the mind as one travels up the famous 
river that it is a hard day's work to note them all. At 
Oberw inter one has barely time to take that fine view 
backward to Rolandseck, Nunnenwerth, Drachenfels, 
and the rest of the Siebenberg before he must turn to 
the new beauties which lie in profusion on either side 
before him. To the right, in rapid sequence, Unkelbach, 
St. Apollinaris-Kirch, Remagen, the Valley of the Aar, 
Rheinech, Andernach ; on the left, Tlnkel, Ochanfels, 
Linz, Neuweid, Bendorf, the Island of Neiderwerth, and 
many others. 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 105 

"No wonder they call it strong, and are proud of it," 
Jim said, as we passed along by the base of Ehrenbreit- 
stein, and looked up the long, steep, rocky ascent. 
" Cannon nor trick can take that, nor famine either, for 
they say the magazines and cisterns hold supplies enough 
to last a hundred thousand men three years." 

" It is a great fortress ; but yonder is a building at the 
confluence of the Rhine and the Moselle more interesting 
to me than that. It is the Church of St. Castor, founded 
in the ninth century. That old church has seen many 
a dynasty rise and fall from Charlemagne downwards. 
It was there, after his death, that his grandsons met in 
order to divide among themselves his vast dominions in 
Germany, Italy, and France — the great empire of the 
West" 

1 I think they might have taken some other place 
besides a church to settle up the estate. Coblentz ! It's 
a curious name, but a sight easier to call than the most 
of them we've seen to-day." 

" Coblentz is a corruption of the Eoman conflue/itia, 
so called from the confluence of the two rivers." 

"It sounds different now. Been through so many 
mouths, and German mouths at that, it's been smartly 
chawed. There's the dinner-bell. You won't go down ? 
All right. I'll send you a beefsteak and half bottle of 
Moselle. Let me know when I get to Bin gen. I prom- 
ised Jake that I'd think of him when I got % to ' Bingen 
on the Rhine,' God bless him." 

" You will have plenty of time for that and get your 
dinner also. But would you, just for one dinner, Jim 
Eawls, would you miss seeing Stotzenfels, Oberlahn- 
stein, Braubach, Rheinfels, the Lurlie, Schonberg, and 
especially the brothers Sternberg and Liebenstein ? " 



mm; two or a x Tourists. 

"Those two last wore brothers, were they? What kin 
were the balance? No, sir, 1 give up my dinner for no 
plaoes with names like that." And oil" he went. He 
oame up jitstas we were nearing that curious strnoture 
in the middle of the river above Oaub, oalled the Pfalz." 

"In the name of oommon sense, what Is that oon- 
founded thing?" 

M li was built," this pamphlet says, "several hundred 

years ago lor (he purpose of having a, convenient place 
for oolleoting tribute from passing vessels; but read 

that." 

"In L194, the BmperOr Henry VI wished to marry 
the daughter of Count Palatine Conrad to one of his 

friends, but, the young princess had already gained the 

alfecfions of Henry o[' Brunswick. The father, dread- 
ing the emperor's \\ rail), would not consent to flu 1 alli- 
ance, but caused a tower to be built in the middle of 
the river below Baoharaoh, where he kept his prisoner. 

Her mother, however, secretly aided the Prinoeof Bruns- 
wick in gaining admittance to the tower, where his 
union with the princess was privately solemnized. 
When the princess was about to give birth to a child, 
her mother disclosed the affair to her husband, who, 
Qnding his opposition no longer availing, capriciously 
passed a law that all future Countesses Palatine should 
repair to the castle to await their aeeoueheinenfs. Such 
is the anci^if and improbable tradition connected with 

the Pfalz, whence it also derives its name." 

"No telling what young folks won't do, nor where 
they Won't v^o when they take a notion to marry. Where 
did the old man live?" 

"Just beyond the bend yonder, to the right, at Stah- 
lek, the old castle." 



TWO OltA V TOtMtlSTS. 107 

"All come from meddling with young people's matches. 
My notion is, if you can't persuade 'em you need'nt try 
to drive 'em. We arc getting into the great wine region, 
I heard at dinner." 

" Yes. Just behind Stahlek yonder is Bacharach, 
celebrated for its wine." 

Passing, in succession, Furstenberg, Heinberg, Fal- 
kenberg, Rheinstein and Ehrenfels, we reached Bingcn. 

"Is that another Piffals?" asked Jim, pointing at the 
Meurth Thurm in the middle of the river near the 
landing. 

"Another what?" 

" Piffals. Was'nt that what you called that concern 
back yonder where the young woman got married to 
that fellow unbeknownst ? " 

"Pfalz." 

" I don't see much difference, and I bet you don't call 
it right. Is this another one ? " 

" No, that's the Mouse Tower, so called from a legend 
that, in former times, a very despotic archbishop was 
devoured there by mice. It was used, at one time, as 
the Pfalz, for collecting toll. Now it is a sort of light- 
house. You see how narrow the river is here? Rush- 
ing down those high mountains, it forms this, what is 
called the Bingerloch, over which it is dangerous for 
two boats to pass each other. The watchman who occu- 
pies it signals to any boats that may be meeting, so that 
they may avoid collision." 

"That's sensible. A pretty town. It will do old 
Jake good to know I've seen it. Poor little fellow! 
There's another river coming in just above yonder." 

" It is the Nahe ; the old ruin is the Klopp, built by 
Drusus." 

37* 



108 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

" Of the same set that you put me to sleep with last 
night ? " 

" The same. He was the son of Livia, wife of Augus- 
tus and her first husband, Tiberius Nero. Augustus 
fell in love with her, and divorcing his own wife, Scri- 
bonia, took Livia away from her husband three months 
before her third son was born, and married her." 

"What! Take a fellow's wife when she's borne him 
two children and pretty nearly three ? No wonder that 
old empire broke down. Things can't last when God 
Almighty's laws are run over in that style." 

Near Eudesheim, the" river suddenly turned towards 
the north, and we were now at the beginning of the Rhine- 
gau, the great wine region of the Rhine. Here I handed 
Jim another legend to read, that of Bromserberg, once 
the property of the old knights of Eudesheim. It ran 
thus : 

" One of these knights who had distinguished himself 
by destroying a dragon in the Holy Land, and had 
escaped out of the hands of the Saracens, vowed that if 
he ever returned to Eudesheim he would dedicate his 
only daughter, Grisela, to the Church. The latter, during 
her father's absence, had formed an attachment to a 
young knight of a neighboring castle, and heard with 
dismay her father's fatal vow. The old Crusader was 
inexorable, and Grisela, in a fit of despair, threw her- 
self from the tower into the Rhine. According to pop- 
ular belief, her form still hovers about the ruined tower, 
and her lamentations are heard mingling with the roar- 
ings of the wind." 

" It appears," was Jim's comment, " that the females 
in this region of country had bad luck in their love 
affairs ; some of 'em getting to be nuns under a mistake, 



TWO GRAY TOITRISTS. 199 

some made so against their wills, and some shut up in a 
box in the river to keep 'em from marrying according to 
their own choice. That last one had better married 
unbeknownst, like the other, rather than kill herself 
But I suppose she could'nt get out. Meddling again. 
The old man thought he would do a great thing for the 
Church by devoting his daughter instead of himself. 
That is a business that ain't stopped yet. Plenty of 
people nowadays who think if they can make other people 
do right, they need'nt take any great pains with their 
own conduct. A great mistake, but a mighty common 
one." 

The night closed in upon us after passing the Castle 
of Johannesberg, and soon we were landed at Mayence. 
Jim said that he intended to dine with me, because he 
felt so lonesome at the table on the boat without me that 
it took away his appetite. And now we must have a 
bottle of Johannesberger. We owed it to the satisfaction 
of having seen the vines that made it ; we owed it to the 
country generally, and we owed it to ourselves. We had 
opened upon the great Eheingau with the Rudesheimer, 
we would now have a Johannesberger, and to-morrow 
we would wind up with a Steinberger. 

" People that can afford to drink such wine as this," 
he continued, when we had opened the bottle and tasted, 
"ought to be a good people. Isn't, it glorious all the 
way down? If I did'nt know myself, I should feel like 
making a speech." 

After dinner we lighted our cigars and repaired to the 
smoking-room, and in spite of his pretended hostility to 
old things, we talked long upon the scenes through 
which we had passed during the day, and their history, 
ancient and modern. Next morning after a drive to the 



203 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

barracks, the cathedral, the confluence of the Rhine and 
Main, the fruit market, and Gutenburg monument, we 
took the road again. 

"This is the cleanest-looking town I've seen yet in 
Germany," said Jim, as we were passing through Darm- 
stadt. 

" Yes. It was of small importance until the Arch- 
duke Ludwig gave it a start. The new part, built within 
the last twenty or thirty years, is larger than the old. 
That monument yonder was erected to his memory." 

We had gone but a little way out of the town and 
turned squarely to the south, when, for the first time 
since we had left home, Ave saw a field of corn. The 
sight did us both good. 

" Oh," said Jim, " if I could only get out and walk 
about in it, and feel of it, and hear the blades rustle, and 
catch a June-bug or two ! How it does bring old Georgia 
to me ! And, by the way, what splendid land it is for 
corn and wheat along this valley. What long mountain 
is that to the left?" 

It was the Odenwald, and we were coursing down the 
Bergstrasse (mountain-road) between the Main and the 
Neckar. It was most pleasing to see the ripe wheat- 
fields, the peasants reaping and harvesting the overflow- 
ing crops, and to lift our eyes anon above and beyond to 
the towering forest. After passing Weinheim, we di- 
verged from the Odenwald, and, making a circuit by 
Ladensberg and Wiedrichsfeld, returned to it at Heidel- 
berg. Here we stopped for three hours. Ordering 
lunch (to include, of course, trout from the Neckar), 
we hired a carriage for a brief inspection. We thought 
Heidelberg the prettiest of all towns of its size. At the 
head of the Valley of the Neckar, snugly ensconced be- 
tween the surrounding eminences, the continuous green 



TWO OR AY TOURISTS. 201 

shades along its one prominent street impart a sweet 
coolness which the son seems never to subdue. Passing 
by the university buildings in the Ludwig Platz, we first 
ascended to the Mulchencur, and returning, drove to the 
castle on the eminence opposite. Our time was too brief 
to allow us to view any but a comparatively small part 
of this, the hugest and grandest of all the ruins of Ger- 
many. In vain had many an army of besiegers attempted 
to destroy it. No wonder it was so long and so arduous 
to break down the power of the feudal lords, when they 
could hide themselves within walls that even gunpowder 
could only partially dislodge. As we drove by the uni- 
versity buildings again upon our return (which, as for 
age, Jim said showed for themselves), we saw several 
students walking along, some of whom were followed by 
dogs of a species such as we had never seen before. 

" Did anybody ever see such dogs ? " exclaimed Jim. 

They seemed of the purest bull, but so extremely 
diminutive as not to weigh, I should say, over eight or 
ten pounds. Jim enquired about them of our host at 
the Schrieder, where we lunched. 

"De shtoodens haf dem for combany in de valk, and 
dey make dem fight much. Yah ? Day fight shtrong, 
dem leetle dog." 

Our lunch was served in a veranda, in the rear of 
the hotel. Jim pronounced the trout delicious, but 
small, he should rather say, small but delicious. It 
would'nt do to bring out our bottle of Steinberger at 
the board of so polite a host. So we took one of his 
Hubberger. 

"Well," said Jim, after we were on the move again, 
and we had fired up, " it's a beautiful little town. I 
notice, as we get down south, that they pay more atten- 
tion to shade than we do. I'm glad we stopped here. 



202 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

A beautiful little town. I say little, and it can't grow 
much bigger, hemmed in, as it is, between the river and 
these mountains. They jammed it in a snug little place, 
and I don't wonder it's always been so hard to take. 
That old castle is big enough though to make up for 
the town. Some of those walls are twenty feet thick 
and more, so that where they've been blown down by 
powder they afford a defence still. That old wine hogs- 
head took me ; forty-nine thousand gallons. While they 
were at it, they might have made it an even fifty. They 
must have been good drinkers in those times before they 
invented their lager beer. By the way, that was a capi- 
tal wine we had — Humbugger, you call it ? No humbug 
about that, if you'll allow a bit of a pun. You might J 
for I've heard you make worse often. But, by gracious, 
what did you think of those little dogs ? Don't they 
beat the world ? And is'nt it a nice business for college 
boys to be at, instead of their books, and trying to get 
back some of the money their fathers pay out for 'em ? 
Well, college boys will be college boys everywhere, I 
suppose, like them at Athens and the other colleges in 
Georgia. They learn how to dress fine, smoke, drink 
whiskey, cuss, and be impudent to old people." 

Richer and riper the crops, as, leaving the Neckar, 
we travelled due South, having, on our right, the broad 
plain of the Rhine, on our left, the low hills as, gradu- 
ally growing higher and higher, they culminated in the 
Black Forest. The villages on this dividing line between 
the plain and the hills, embowered as they were in shade 
and fruit trees, seemed perfect in their loveliness. At 
Ettlingen, the Murgthal rose to view, the Black Forest 
uplifted high, above all, the Mercuriesberg. At Oos, 
our train turned suddenly to the left, and in ten minutes 
we were at Baden-Baden. 



CHAPTER XVI 




HIS is a place for richer folks than you and 
me, Phil." 

We had strolled out after dinner (at the 
Hotel Hollande) across the Oos, and amid the 
rows of shops in the Bazaar. 

"A small town, and few stores; but they look like 
they had a plenty of customers with a plenty of money. 
But money comes easy, and goes easy here. People that 
follow gambling spend freely when they are in luck, and 
I've no doubt these store-keepers know how and where- 
to catch up the lucky ones. Fve heard that these Dutch 
women are about as rapid gamblers as the men. When 
women take a start it's hard to head 'em off." 

"Dutch ? There are no Dutch here. We are in Ger- 
many, man, not Holland." 

"I call 'em all Dutch; they are all Dutch to me." 

" The gambling is almost nothing now, compared with 
what it used to be. The government has put an end to 
the excesses." 

Many as there were in these grounds around the 
Trinclihalle and Gonversationshaus, during the after- 
noon, they were few compared with the throng at night. 
A band of forty musicians played from a stand, and 
men, women, and children walked, and sat, and listened, 
and chatted, Jim's facility in making his way led us 

(3QS) 



204 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

into limited conversation with an intelligent-looking 
German, whose table, as he sat smoking and sipping his 
beer, was next to ours. To a direct question from Jim, 
if he spoke English, he smiled and answered : 

"A leedle beed." 

It was amusing to me to observe the efforts the two 
made to render themselves mutually intelligible. Jim 
adroitly complimented the German military, and hinted 
that perhaps the army might be getting ready to do 
for some other nation what they had lately done for the 
French. From the answer he received he gathered that 
his remark had not been understood. 

" Vot te Oharmans vant mose now is bees." 

" Bees ! " exclaimed Jim, in astonishment. 

" Yahs, bees," answered the gentleman, with an argu- 
mentative look. 

" Why — have'nt you got any bees in this country ? I 
should suppose that bees — " 

I heard no more ; but asking Jim to excuse me for a 
few moments, retreated, so that I might laugh without 
restraint. A few minutes afterwards he came where I 
was promenading near the musicians. 

" Why did'nt you come back ? " he asked carelessly ; 
" that was a clever fellow." 

I answered that the subjects of their conversation, 
especially as he was talking about one thing and the 
stranger another, confused me somewhat, and I con- 
cluded to take a little turn by myself. 

"When he was talking osi peace and you about bees I 
could'nt see how you were going to make it." 

The old fellow laughed heartily. 

" Yes, sir, I thought the Dutch nation at large was 
about going into the bee-raising and honey-making 
business." 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 205 

" How did you settle it, Jim ? " 

" I told him that I was surprised at what he said ; 
that I thought, of course, that bees were a very good 
thing in their way ; that I had a few hives myself, and 
most country people had a hive or two apiece." 

" Hold on, Jim, and let me lean against this tree 
awhile. What did he say then ? " 

" Well, sir, he looked at me for a moment as hard as 
that custom-house officer yesterday ; but he saw that I 
did'nt mean to be insulting, and that I was'nt scared. 
And then he laughed and said: ' Oh ! you means te 
peas — te leedle peas.' I told him I did not mean peas — 
little peas, nor big peas. Fact, we raised them, too, in 
Georgia, where I came from in any quantity, but — " 

" I'm going to fall, Jim," said I, " if you don't hold 
me." 

" He took me up again, sir, and he said : * I not mean 
peas, I means bees— bees and vor. Te Charmans not 
vont vor, te Charmans vont bees? When he said vor he 
frowned and doubled up his fists, and when he said bees 
he looked as sweet as he could, spread out his hands and 
did like he was patting a baby on the head. And then 
I understood him. We laughed. I made him take a 
beer with me ; but we both found talking together a 
rather heavy business, and I concluded to leave." 

" Did'nt you ask him to call by if he should ever come 
to Georgia ? " 

"No. But if he should, I should treat him like a 
gentleman, and show him my bee-hives." 

We were entertained by a little book which I pur- 
chased in the Bazaar, entitled "Legendes de Baden" 
Jim was especially impressed by the legend of the mi- 
raculous intervention of the Blessed Virgin in deliver- 

18 



206 TWO GEAY TOURISTS. 

ing, many centuries ago, her convent of Lichtenstein, 
situate a little more than a mile out of town, from the 
soldiers of a fierce invading army when the abbess and 
her nuns had fled from it and besought her protection. 

The next morning we took the early train for Basle, 
intending to deflect from our route at Appenweir and 
make an hour's visit to the Cathedral of Strassburg. Jim 
said he did not care so much about the old church, but 
he wanted to see the clock. 

"That steeple beats anything we've seen yet," said he, 
as we slowly went up amid the throng of visitors. 

" That at Cologne, when finished, will be higher. With 
that exception, it is the loftiest in the world. Will you 
go up it ? " 

" Not if I know myself. It's bound to fall some time, 
and it might take a notion to-day just as I got at the top, 
then good-bye Emily." 

Grand as this structure is, it was less imposing than 
that at Cologne. Jim thought that they must have run 
mainly on their steeple, and that that broke them* 
Nothing interested him so much as the clock. How he 
did try to peer into it. We could not wait for the noon- 
striking, and had to be satisfied with the slip-shod old 
gentleman who came in at half-past eleven. As we 
strolled along, remarking upon the different architect- 
ures of eight hundred years, one of the servitors advanced 
towards us, and raising his finger, intimated silence. A 
moment afterwards we were at the opening of one of the 
chapels where Mass was being said before a congregation 
of about three hundred worshippers. We turned away, 
and the sound of the service was again beyond our hear- 
ing long before we emerged into the street. 

"I had no idea it was meeting-day," said Jim, when 



TWO GEAY TOUKISTS. 207 

we were oat; "but they don't seem to have any regular 
stated meeting days over here. AVhen we were at Co- 
logne I got up early, you know, and walked out into the 
town. Blamed if I did'nt see at least a thousand people 
either going in or coming out of the churches. I doubt 
if they keep any almanacs in this town ; because, you 
know, that old clock tells every blessed thing about the 
sun, moon, and stars, and I suppose these people go by 
her, and don't want any almanacs. I wonder how often 
they wind her up ? Curious country. Going to meeting 
weeky days and before breakfast as well as other times. 
Let's move on." 

Back to Appenweir. If our tickets had allowed, we 
would have preferred the direct route to Basle, in order 
to have a better view of the Yosges, and the mediasval 
remains on their slopes. As it was, we could only view 
them in the distance, while the Black Forest was better 
presented than in the direct line. The valleys are ex- 
quisitely beautiful. Busy were the laborers and their 
teams; most of the former were females. In a field 
where a dozen or fifteen might be harvesting, about 
three would be men — one with the team, and two with 
scythes, the rest women and girls. Behind each of the 
reapers a woman followed with a reap-hook to cut what 
stocks had been left. 

" They make clean work of it, you see, Phil, and don't 
leave much pickings for the hogs. Now isn't it a shame 
for that sort of work to be done mostly by women ? The 
men, what are not at trades, are in the army. They may 
talk what they please about bees, as they call it, but I 
tell you they mean war when the men are drilling and 
the women gathering the crops. Still, a woman will be 
a woman, in the wheat patch or ball-room. Look at 



208 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

those blue and pink jackets, and notice how stylish they 
set those straw hats on their heads." 

Thus he rattled on during that sweet afternoon, often 
leaning his head out of the window, bowing and waving 
his hat, and halloing to the laborers, who sometimes 
gaily responded to his salutations. 

We were at Les Trois Rois, in Basle, and were sitting 
at our chamber window looking down upon the rapidly 
rolling Rhine, from which, though after several diver- 
gences, we had not yet separated. 

"Consule Planco ! " said I. 

" Certainly," said Jim. 

( Non ego hoc ferrem, calidus juventa, 
Consule Planco.' 

"You and I read that together in Horace under old 
man Hodge, Jim." 

"Did we? The old man tried to put Horace and 
Caesar into me with a hickory, but they could'nt stick. 
Was he ever along here ? not old Hodge, but — that other 
fellow?" 

"Yes. Munatius Plancus founded this town. Eather 
it has supplanted another further up the river that was 
founded by him who was consul when Horace was a boy. 
When the Roman army mutinied under Germanicus, 
who had married Agrippina — " 

"That same female you told about at Cologne?" 

"No; but her mother, and a most excellent woman 
and devoted wife. Mother and daughter could not have 
been more widely different. The wife of Germanicus 
accompanied him in his wars, and when he was mur- 
dered by Piso, at the instance of Tiberius the Emperor, 
she charged the murderer with his crime openly at 
Rome, whereupon he stabbed himself," 



TWO GRAY TOUEISTS. 209 

"Good-bye for Mm. What became of the widow? 
Married again, I suppose. Marrying seemed to run in 
that family." 

" No ; being left with nine children, she — " 

" Oh, dear ! Not much chance to marry again with 
all that gang, without she could find a fellow like our 
same Bob Minton. But go on." 

" No, sir ; not another word." 

"Go on, Phil; it's perfectly thrilling what you were 
saying, only I happened to think of Bob when you were 
talking about the nine children. Go ahead." 

"Not I. You may substitute Bob Minton for the 
widow of Germanicus. What of Bob ? You've put out 
the Caesars for to-night, so bring in Bob." 

" Bob tells it," he went on, after a hearty laugh, " that 
when he was a boy about fourteen years old he fell ter- 
ribly in love, heels over head. He loved so hard that he 
began to get sickly, and his father got uneasy about him 
and gave him tansy bitters and vinegar-and-nails. But 
the old man found out somehow what was the matter 
with him, and that the one he was in love with was a 
widow that had nine children and weighed three hun- 
dred pounds. And then what do you think he did ? 
Why, sir, he took Bob into the woods, and cutting an 
armful of hickories he gave him three hundred lashes, 
one lick for every pound of the widow." 

"It cured him?" 

"Yes, sir. Bob says that from loving he got to hate 
her, and he hated her as long as she lived. He always 
said that the best way to cure people who were foolishly 
in love was to give 'em the hickory. Now what about 
the widow Germanicus ? " 

" No more of her to-night. I refer you to the classical 
dictionary." 13* 



210 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

After breakfast next day we left for Lucerne. 

" Small but active for their size," Jim remarked, as 
we passed along by the rushing streams, on our way up 
the Bernese Oberland. In four hours we were at the 
SchweizerJiof in Lucerne. In the afternoon we drove 
into the country overshadowed by Mt. Pilatus. Jim 
noticed with pleasure the luxuriant grass which takes 
its name from the town. 

" I see," said he, " how it comes to have such a long 
root. The ground is so poor and hilly that it has to 
reach down deep in order to hold on in the first place, 
and then to get something to feed on besides this gravel. 
What in the world is that cross doing here ? " 

We alighted in order to inspect a small, wooden cross, 
the first we had seen of its kind, henceforth so numerous 
in this portion of Switzerland. In the wood a place had 
been hollowed in which, covered with glass, was a rude 
picture of the Blessed Virgin. Jim was touched most 
tenderly by this witness of the piety and faith of one 
who had erected this simple memorial for a credited 
deliverance, through her agency, from some calamity. 

" It's a mighty comforting thing, I suppose, for them 
that can believe it," he said. 

In the afternoon we went to see, on a rock by the 
brooklet's side, Thorwaldsen's Lion of Lucerne, A 
wonderful work of genius. The courage and grief ex- 
hibited in the fall of the noble beast, in whose side 
clings the broken spear, and the fidelity with which bis 
huge paw covers the Lily of France were touching to 
contemplate. A brave people ! Whether contesting for 
hereditary rights on their own soil, or in the cause of 
other peoples. No braver death was ever met by soldiers, 
not even the Lacedaemonians at Thermopylae, than when 



two &ray Tourists. 211 

the Swiss Guards fell that fatal day on the threshold of 
the Tuilleries. 

"It's about the only chance they have of showing 
their pluck," said Jim. " They can't get out to fight 
other people, and other people can't get in to fight them. 
These mountains and lakes, and these rivers that run 
like race-horses, stop such as that. Yet, they've got to 
make a living in some sort of fashion besides tending 
what little level land they've got, and so they hire them- 
selves to fight other people's battles. It's a way of living 
that would'nt suit me." 

It was delicious to sit, in the cool evening, in the 
piazza of this elegant hotel, look down the clear lake, 
and breathe the sweet air coming up from its bosom. 
Next morning we took an excursion upon it, leaving the 
boat at Vitznau for the ascent of the Ehigi. We took 
the least romantic but most comfortable and expeditious 
route — that by the railway. Jim was intensely interested 
in this enterprise, and, in what time we had, closely ex- 
amined the locomotive, which, with its cog wheel under- 
neath, revolving on the cross-teeth between the rails, 
drew, or rather pushed, the small car up the mountain. 
The morning was fair, and we could get all of this mag- 
nificent view. Once a little cloud gathered, and we 
could see the rain below, while the sun shone brightly 
above. As we stood upon the summit, mountains with- 
out number rose to the right, while in front, seeming 
white as silver, lay the cities and lakes of Zurich and Zug. 

After another night in this delightful town, we took 
the steamer at the Schiveizerhof quay. Passing down 
the Cruciform Lake, on reaching the west arm we turned 
into it, and disembarking at Alpnach, took our places 
in the diligence for Brienz. Slowly we ascended through 



2V2 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

Sarnen and along its lake to Gisneyle, halting a little at 
the relays of horses, to look into the small side way booths, 
and make our little purchases of woodware. More slowly 
yet up the Kaiserstnhl to the town and Lake of Lungern. 

And now for the ascent of the Brunig Pass. Out of 
pity for the laboring horses, we alighted from the car- 
riage andwalked ahead the greater part of the way. 
Jim said he had seen some hills and heard of some others, 
but that this oversized all his experience and informa- 
tion. Such talk was between breaths, as we struggled 
on, occasionally shying the rapidly descending vehicles. 
The descent was delightful. The road, cut out of the 
side of the mountain, winding along a precipice defended 
from the abysses to our left only by a low stone fence, 
added, from the spice of the danger, to Jim's enjoyment. 
Our seats were on either side of the coachman. I could 
but shudder sometimes as we trotted along the ever- 
winding, rapidly descending way, when we would pass 
a point where, over the narrow parapet a yard's distance 
from the wheels, I looked down into the awful depths. 
With my right hand I would grasp Jim's left arm when- 
ever, on the slightest depression on my side, I almost 
felt as if we must go over. He would smile, give the 
coachman a wink, when the latter would flourish his 
long whip and give it a crack that sounded like a pistol 
over the horses. 

" Oh, yes," said he, " got into trouble and you want 
me. Care nothing about me when no danger. Danger 
come, and it's Jim Rawls. Hold on, you need'nt blue up 
my arm ; but hold on. I've brought you safe so far, and 
I'll try to put you through. Gracious ! what a pretty 
sight," he exclaimed, as the road brought us to a point 
where we could look down upon the village of Meinrin- 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 2l3 

gen and the long, narrow, fertile valley, with its crops 
of grain, which, though near the end of July, were just 
fading from green to yellow. 

We could not linger at Brienz to inspect its wonderful 
wood-carving works; hut, entering a little steamer, we 
sailed (passing with reluctance the Giesbach) the full 
length of the lake, and before sunset were at the Hotel 
Belvedere in Interlachen. 




CHAPTER XVII. 




NOVEL sight it was — a small village, with 
five or six large first-class hotels, besides nu- 
merous boarding houses— pensions, as they are 
called. We sat in the veranda of the Belvedere, 
where a breeze from that direction would have brought 
to us the spray from the fountain in front that sent its 
thin jet high into the air, while vases of flowers and 
shrubbery were sitting in veranda, hall, and court, and 
even on the steps of the stairs. Before us, seeming only 
a few hundred paces through the mountain gorge, we 
could see the ever-white tops of Alpine peaks. Of all 
places for tired travellers, this must be the sweetest. 
Without, the scene shone as we had never seen. Within, 
the fresh, sharp air invigorated and exhilarated. Jim 
said it was a pity to have to go so far from home to find 
such sights and such enjoyments. Here, as elsewhere, 
he made friends with the English-speaking servants. It 
did his heart good, he said, after walking about the 
streets and hearing so much outlandish talk to get back 
and let himself loose in good old Georgia-talk with 
somebody else besides me ; because, as for us, he said, we 
had about talked out all we knew. 

Of the many excursions to be taken from this central 
place, we had to be content with one. Early on the 

(214) 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 215 

morrow we were in a doable-horse barouche on the way 
to Lauterbrunnen. 

"Don't she get over ground, and ain't she ashy?" 
said Jim, as we drove along the margin of the Leits- 
chein, almost continually crossing and recrossing it. 
" This river, Phil, and one on the other side, have made 
this town of Interlachen. You see, I've been studying 
up a little geography, too. This empties the dirt on this 
side, and the other, the Lombach, on the other, and the 
deposits have divided what was one lake into two — the 
one we came down yesterday, and that we are to go on 
to-morrow." 

"Tantum aevi longinqua valet mutare vetustas ; as 
Helenus said to Ameas about Scylla and Charybdis." 

" Oh, hush ! as the alligator said to the bull-frog." 

"I'll do it." 

Far above us we could see the goats as they felt their 
way cautiously along the steep acclivities, and cropped 
the thin verdure. Arriving at Lauterbrunnen, the 
horses were unhooked and saddled. Jim, avowing his 
recognition of the maxim, age before beauty and merit, 
selected the one he considered the best, made me mount 
him, mounted the other himself, and we began the ascent 
of the Wendernalp. 

" Where's your horse, my friend ? " asked he of the 
coachman, our guide, who could not speak a word of 
English. "There's nothing like trying 'em anyhow, 
Phil. I generally make 'em understand me before I get 
through." 

The man smiled, pointed to his feet, and led the way. 

On and on, up the weary ascent, sometimes wooded, 
then pasture land, then sudden acclivity. We halted 
occasionally at a little chalet to dismount and give rest 



216 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

to ourselves and the toiling beasts ; at other times paus- 
ing to listen to the peasants, as, in expectation of a few 
sous, they sang their country's airs or sounded the Al- 
pine horn. I can never forget the first impression made 
upon me by this instrument. The peasant had taken 
his position beneath a lofty and rugged series of cliffs 
projecting irregularly from the side of the mountain. 
The echoes ascending, grew fainter and sadder, repeat- 
ing from eminence to eminence until dying away in 
whispers among the far heights. I have never heard, 
sounds so solemn. One could imagine them to be sigh- 
ings of the ghosts of the giants of olden times. 

When we had been about a couple of hours on the 
ascent, I, who was ahead, heard Jim break out into a 
laugh and say : " You've given out, old fellow, have you ? 
Look behind you, Phil." I turned and saw the coach- 
man, as, having taken my horse by the tail, he suffered 
himself to be pulled up the mountain. 

"Look behind yourself," I answered, turning; and 
there, similarly hanging to his horse, was a Swiss girl, 
who on her left arm was carrying a basket of things she 
had purchased at the village for the Hotel de Jung f ran, 
on the summit. 

" Good gracious me alive ! " he exclaimed, and, imme- 
diately dismounting, said : 

"My dear madam, or, most probably, miss, I can't 
stand that. This is a man's saddle, but I can fix it for 
you. Don't say a word," he continued, as she and the 
guide looked wonderingly at his motions. He drew the 
right stirrup and leather over, and was proceeding to 
shorten the left when the girl, with a merry laugh, darted 
on ahead. The guide roared, and then broke forth with 
a mountain song. 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 217 

" I saved my manners, anyhow," said Jim. " 1 was'nt 
brought up to ride horses when women had to get along 
by hanging to their tails." 

About noon we reached the summit, when we dis- 
mounted for dinner and an hour's rest at the hotel. 
There, in full view, and apparently not further off than 
a rifle shot, though actually more than a mile, stood the 
Jungfrau — the Young Bride, seeming whiter in her 
nuptial array than all her maidens, and towering above 
them like Diana in the midst of her choir. It was un- 
speakably beautiful. The sun was terribly bright;, so 
much so that we had to wear our blue-glass spectacles, 
with which we had been warned to provide ourselves. 
As we gazed, suddenly we saw what seemed a narrow 
drift of snow gliding rapidly down a narrow gorge. A 
few seconds afterwards, a roar, as of a hundred cannon, 
and we could scarcely believe the sound to come from 
what we saw, and that it was an avalanche of thousands 
of tons. Jim recognized in one of the waitresses the 
girl whom he had tried to serve. She had evidently told 
the landlady, for they both smiled graciously whenever 
their eyes rested on him as he ate. He called for another 
half bottle of wine and two extra glasses. The women 
looked curiously at him as he filled them. He passed 
one of them to the mistress, a very stout, fair woman, 
and the other he handed to the girl. 

" You see, ladies, I never was raised, as I said to my old 
friend here, to ride a horse, especially on a bad road, 
and see women taking it afoot. You understand ? I 
nix (not, you know) rides, when a woman, — got — no — 
sheval, (horse, you understand.) Here's to us four, and 
all the pretty Swiss women and girls." 

There were half dozen other guests at the table, and 

19 



218 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

all shouted with laughter. The woman drank her glass 
readily; the girl took hers, blushed, and looked at her 
mistress, who signified her wish for her to join in the 
toast. She did so amidst much tittering and pretended 
reluctance. As we mounted our horses before the door, 
Jim, looking towards the Jungfrau, asked the hostess if 
she could 'nt get up just one more avalanche for a couple 
of old fellows who could never expect to be back there 
an)' more. She shook her head laughingly. 

"Nix?" said he. "Well, good-bye," and with adieu 
on both sides we commenced the descent. 

" Did ? nt you see they understood me ? If you'll put 
the English to 'em slow and distinct as I do, you don't 
want but a few r of their words to make 'em understand 
you. I have'nt got but two of 'em yet, nix and slieval, 
and you see what I made out of them. Give me about 
two dozen of 'em, and I can go through the whole 
country by myself. Of course, I should count on be- 
having myself like everybody, specially when they're 
away from home, ought to be expected to do. Well, 
she's a nice woman and keeps a good hotel away up here 
in the clouds." 

As we descended, we encountered other peasants on 
the margin of the path who sang for our entertainment. 
Once, while we were walking along (for the way had 
now become so precipitous that this was less fatiguing 
then riding), Ave saw ahead of us two children, hatless 
and shoeless, a boy and a girl, neither of whom could 
have been more than six years old. They stood erect 
and still, side by side just out of the path, with their 
earnest little faces turned towards us as we neared them. 

"Why what upon the creation of the earth," said Jim, 
"are those little chaps doing away up here by them- 
selves ? Hello little folks, where's your ma ? " 



TWO GKAY TOUKISTS. 219 

Immediately they began to sing, the girl first, and 
the boy second soprano. A plaintive little song it was, 
and the sweetest my ears had ever listened to. My dear 
old Jim first stopped in amazement. He then walked 
on to where the singers were standing, and after look- 
ing at them for a few moments, sat down upon the green 
bank, took out his pocket handkerchief, and wept and 
sobbed. My eyes filled in sympathy. The guide, pleased 
with our appreciation, allowed us to wait for them to 
repeat their song. Jim rose, when it was over, and laid 
his hands softly on their bare heads. 

"God Almighty bless you my children! I never 
heard such music before. If I had'nt seen you, I'd 
have thought it was angels. You don't know how much 
good you've done me. I know you are good children. 
You could'nt sing that way, and make me cry so if you 
were'nt. I bid you good-bye now. Keep on being good, 
and always mind what your ma tells you, and don't get 
bad as you grow big. Take this, and buy yourselves a 
hat and bonnet, and a pair of shoes apiece. I wish I 
could afford to give you more." 

He filled their hands with coins, and for the first 
time since we had left home, made me add to what I 
had given at first. 

"Give to 'em freely, Phil. You're never going to 
lose by what you give to such as them.'' 

The children looked almost frightened by the dosses 
sion of so much money. 

" Good-bye now, and remember what 1 told you, and 
especially mind what your ma tells you. I never felt 
in all my life-time, Phil, as I did then," he continued 
after we had parted from them " I did'nt want to try 
even, to keep from crying. I don't know what their 



220 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

little song was about; but I tell you that it sounded 
to me, away up here, as if it was two angels singing 
the praise of God." 

He would not even listen to either of the two other 
bands of larger singers that we afterwards encountered, 
but, throwing pieces of money to them, hastened his 
gait, saying: 

"No, my friends, T don't care about any more music 
to-day. I don't want that I heard further up the hill 
put out of my mind." 

We reached the foot of the mountain at the village of 
Grindenwald, where we found our barouche that a friend 
of the guide had brought around the mountain. " The 
idea of charging for ice here," said Jim, as, while the 
horses were being put to the carriage, we were refresh- 
ing ourselves at a hotel with a bottle of champagne. 
"Why there's the ice growing in three hundred yards 
of the house, and more plentiful than food for their 
cattle."' 

It did seem strange, for the glaciers extended almost 
to within the village. As we drove rapidly out, we met 
the goats coming in from the mountains, the udders of 
many of them almost touching the ground. On the way 
back, we halted a few moments at a bridge of the 
Lutchen, and for a franc obtained a view of a couple of 
chamois which were kept on exhibition to tourists in a 
small covered pen. 

"Ah, well," said Jim, looking at the doe. You've 
got the finest pair of eyes I ever saw except one. Its 
curious, Phil, that this little deer or goat — whatever it 
is ; should so forcibly remind me of Emily. But do 
you know, sir? It was at old man Sereno Taylor's 
examination, the first time I saw her, and immediately 



TWO GEAY TOUJRISTS. 221 

fell head and ears in love with her. She came out and 
sung that song. Somehow, it come down on me perpen- 
dicular, like a gate-post, as Mose Grice used to say, and 
then he broke forth with — 

Oh, the wild chamois track at the breaking of day. 

The frightened doe ran into a corner of the pen, and 
her fawn crouched beneath her. 

" They don't seem to be very fond of music," said 
Jim. 

" Maybe they object to the kind." 

" Very probable, but its the best they can get from 
this crowd. Don't be scared, you little beauty, I could'nt 
hurt anything that had eyes like them. Good-bye to 
you, and your baby." 

" Were you ever much addicted to singing, Jim ? " 

" None to hurt. But Emily used to say I had a very 
good voice. How did you like the stave I just now 
tried?" 

" You saw some of its effects." 

We dashed along the smooth, ever-winding road, the 
horses, whether stimulated by Jim's merriment or anx- 
ious to reach their stalls, pulling hard at their bits. 
The night came on, and we began to see bright lights 
high up among the mountains. It was the vigil of one 
of the saints, and the peasants were paying honor to the 
coming morrow. 

"A more religious people, Phil, these than our people, 
or the English. What they believe, they believe with- 
out any doubt, and try to practice it ; and when they 
don't, they blame nobody but themselves. I did'nt think 
it was so, but it is." 

An hour after dark we arrived in the village. As we 

19* 



222 TWO GEAY TOUEISTS. 

dashed through the streets, the coachman warned, by 
the continued cracking of his whip, the foot passengers 
to get out of the way. After tea we strolled for a short 
time on the Cursaal, listened to the band, then went 
early to bed. Next morning Jim declared that he had 
never had a sweeter night's rest, not even in his own bed 
at home. Those little children, singing away up there 
on the mountain, kept him awake awhile, and afterwards 
he went to sleep, feeling as sure as if he had been there 
to see, that his wife and children were safe in the protec- 
tion of the Almighty. 

Leaving this sweet village, we took the short railroad 
with its double-decker car over the narrow peninsular, 
and embarked on the steamer Beatus at the southeastern 
extremity of Lake Thun. 

"An outlandish name for a boat — Beahis." 

"It is from the St. Beatns, who dwelt in the cave 
yonder on the side of the lake." 

" What did he live there for ? Why not in a house 
like other folks?" 

" Because he desired to devote his life exclusively to 
religion." 

" Oould'nt he do that without going to live in a hole 
in the ground ? " 

"At least he thought he could not, except by remov- 
ing himself entirely from mankind. Many hundreds in 
the annals of the Church have done the same." 

"How did he manage to live there? It must have 
been a tolerably economical establishment?" 

"His drink was the water of the lake, and his bread 
the fruits and the herbs that he could find near by, be- 
sides what the people around, who knew of his where- 
abouts and character, would bring to him." 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 226 

" Tell me, Phil, why so many towns in this country 
are called by the names of saints ? " 

"The towns so named sprang from the various saints 
who, like Peatus, retired from the society of mankind 
and fixed their habitations in the forests or in the 
marshes. The reputation of their sanctity, their chari- 
ties and the wonderful things they did drew multitudes 
from far, and these settling there, the towns which grew 
up they named after them." 

"Their charities! I thought they were poor, and 
lived on water and blackberries. I don't see how they 
could do anything at charity, when they had no smoke- 
house and nothing to put in it if they had." 

"A man need not have full barns and store-houses 
to be charitable. These monks managed very well. 
Among other ways, was this : the rich who were pious 
sent them the means to be dispensed to the poor. Then 
they taught the latter how to till the land and enrich 
it. The very richest tracts of country in France to-day, 
are those which lie near where the old monasteries 
stood, six and eight hundred years ago. You know, 
Jim, from your own observation, and your own experi- 
ence, that when a man really wants to be charitable, 
somehow the means for his purpose come to him." 

"Fact. The Bible says that whoever gives to the 
poor, lends to God, and He will pay at usurious interest, 
or words to that effect. But see yonder ; would a fellow 
ever wish to find a sweeter place to live at than that ? " 

We were at the end of the little lake. The spot was 
most beautiful ; on the narrow tongue of land, an exquis- 
ite chateau, surrounded by flowers and shrubbery, stood 
almost immediately on the banks, from whose veranda 
was a full view of the green waters and the mountains. 



224 TWO GEAY TOUKISTS. 

We at once took the train. Halting at Berne only for 
the purpose of dining at the station restaurant, we 
travelled along through Fribourg and Lausanne, reached 
Geneva at night-fall, and stopped at the Hotel cle UEcu. 
Our chamber was on the third floor, immediately over 
the Ehone where it rushes out of Lake Leman. As we 
sat there at night, looking out of the window upon the 
rapid waters and the numerous laundry-houses in their 
midst, we had some talk on the subject of the classics. 

"Jim," said I y "you did'nt seem very fresh about the 
Munatius Plancus of Horace ; but you need not tell me 
that you've forgotten what Caesar says about Geneva 
and the Rhone." 

" Goodness ! where I got one whipping about Horace, 
I got three about Caesar. What was all that about old 
Orgetorix, and Dumnorix, and Diviticus ? " 

" Divitiacus, you mean ? " 

"Divy — something, and those old Allobroges, and 
Tulingians and Bellovaccians, and all those old fellows ? 
We've come up with 'em at last, have we ? Old man 
Hodge never could poke 'em into my head. I never 
could get 'em right and find out which was which. I 
knew some of 'em wanted to cross over somewhere, and 
that the rest of 'em were against it, and they were 
about a year disputing about it, and blamed if I ever 
found out whether they got over or not, or who wanted to 
go and who did'nt, or where they wanted to go away 
from and where to; only I remember there was a sight 
of rivers, and lakes, and mountains in the way, which it 
is very plain now to see was a fact. But I know that 
Csesar astonished everybody by building a bridge in a 
mighty quick time over or.e of 'em; and if I was to 
live a hundred years I should'nt forget the whipping I 



TWO GKA.Y TOURISTS. 225 

got about that. Ah ! that was a bridge, Phil, as was a 
bridge. None of your pontoons. But /could'nt cross 
it by myself. I should have stayed over on this side if old 
man Hodge had let me. But that old fellow killed him- 
self, did'nt he ? Old Orgetorix, I mean." 

" So it was supposed. You remember, Nee abest sus- 
picio, ut Helvetii arbitrantur, quin ipse sibi mortem con- 
seiverit" 

" Just about that, if I don't disremember. Consider- 
ing how I was handled by old man Hodge all along in 
there, it seemed to me that I was to be made responsible 
for putting the fellow up to it, and would be made to 
follow him on — 

Into the dark and silent grave, 
"Where there's nothing else to crave. 

That's from the Ohoopie poet. And this is my same old 
Geneva, is it ? " 

"It is. That bridge yonder over which we drove this 
afternoon in the omnibus, stands about where the Hel- 
vetians tried first to cross over to the Allobroges. Over 
there is Jura, that altissimus mons, which you surely 
have not forgotten ? " 

"Forget him! Some things I might forget, Phile- 
mon, but him, never. I rather think I liked him better 
than the rest of 'era. He did'nt have to be crossed by 
any bridge, you know. You might sorter get around 
him. Oh, yes, he was a right clever old fellow, was old 
Jury. I — I remember him, Philip." 

" Oh, Jim Bawls, Jim Eawls ! " 

Coming from anybody else but him. I might have been 
somewhat annoyed by such ignoring of the suggestions 
which the visitations to these classic grounds raised in 



226 TWO Gil AY TOURISTS. 

my mind. Quotations from the Be Bello Oallico of 
Caesar were constantly rising to my lips, and I could 
but think it was most opportune to give them utterance. 
But my old friend insisted — to use his own phrase — that 
he could'nt stand it; and so I held them back, except 
the few that would break out of their own motion. Yet 
I must admit that for my disappointment in this behalf, 
he compensated many fold in all other respects. 




CHAPTER XVIII. 




'LL bet you a cigar," said Jim, next morning, 
as we started on a sail up the lake, " that you 
don't know why this steamer is named Bonni- 
vard?" 

" Bonnivard ? Bonnivard ? I ought to know, but I've 
forgotten." 

" Oh, yes, you ought to know and don't. Well, sir, 
that's the Prisoner of Chillon. Know how I found out ?" 

" From your reading up, of course." 

"I did'nt. That old gray-headed Englishman told 
me so just now. You see, my information costs less than 
yours. We can't go to the castle to-day ; but we can see 
with our glasses about where it is, as we cross over from 
Evian to Lausanne." 

A pleasant sail, with Ferney to our left not far off, and 
on the banks the Rothschild's palace, the chateaus of Sir 
Robert Peel and the Empress Josephine, and the towns 
of Nyon and Rosse, with the fair Pays de Vaud, and to 
our right Yvoire, Thonon, Evian, the rugged Savoy, 
and the Canton Chablais. 

" See what a difference, Phil, a little body of water 
makes between the people who live on opposite sides. Over 
to the left, they are agricultural and easy-going in their 
motions. That is a rich country, with its wine and 
small grain. To the right, they live mostly by lumber 

(227) 



228 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

business. See that barge of logs yonder ; that has just 
come out of the mouth of the river Dranse, by which 
they were floated into the lake. They were cut last fall. 
They are a harder- working people over on this side* But 
don't they know something about making their towns 
comfortable ? Just look at those women and children 
yonder sitting along the quay under the chestnut trees." 

This last remark was made just as we were approach- 
ing the village of Evian. Women of all conditions were 
sitting upon benches beneath the trees, which, almost to 
the water's edge, lined the semicircular quay — some with 
their sewing and knitting, some reading, others chatting, 
while the children ran or were drawn by their nurses in 
carriages in the shade. As we passed across from this 
village to Ouchy, the port of Lausanne, we raised our 
glasses and looked towards the head of the lake and 
called to mind how Byron, in the little village before us, 
where he was detained by foul weather, had immortal- 
ized one of the prisoners in that gloomy castle. What 
anguish has been suffered behind those stones! Bur- 
gundians and Savoyards, not to mention the massacre, at 
one time, of those twelve hundred Israelites who had 
been so madly charged with the design to poison all the 
fountains of Europe. We lingered at Ouchy only long 
enough to meet the downward bound steamer, WinJcel- 
ried. Of the individual objects seen in this excursion, 
Jim was most interested in the chateau of Josephine. 

"A big man! A mighty big man. But that was 
where Napoleon made his grand mistake. He was so 
big that he thought he could get around God Almighty's 
laws and put away his wife. That's what He don't allow. 
What He has joined together man better not put asunder. 
What surprises me, is that anybody should ever want to 
try it." 



TWO GEAY TOUKISTS. 229 

" Every man has not an Emily Todd, yon know, Jim." 

" Yon are right there certain, old man ; but my opinion 
is, that any man and woman can get along together if 
they'll both start right and keep on right." 

"There was no special domestic unhappiness with 
Napoleon and Josephine." 

" No ; and that made it the meaner and less to God 
Almighty's liking. And yon see right there was where 
He raised His ringer. There ain't any telling where 
Nap would have gone but for that. But he never saw 
the finger, you know, and so the ground gave way 
before him on a sudden, and he went on down hill until 
he got to the bottom. She lived on and on until he was 
down, and then she died. She was a true lady, Jose- 
phine was. She never made any fuss about it. She let 
him have his way. She knew, though, who was on her 
side, and that it would win some time or another, and in 
some way or another." 

In the evening we rode about the town, and later 
strolled along the gardens and the quay. Once, when 
we were on the bridge, we met a man who was intoxi- 
cated. It was the only instance of the kind we saw 
south of the Channel. Jim remarked how curious it was 
that we had not seen but this case in a country where 
people, rich and poor, never sit down to eat without 
drinking. I replied that there was a nut for the liquor- 
prohibitionists of our country to crack. It did cer- 
tainly seem that where wine was used as food, there 
was little intoxication, and that better than legislation 
in non- wine -growing countries would be the abundant 
planting of the grape. 

" I have come to believe it," replied Jim. " People 
will drink. They may join temperance societies and hold 

20 



230 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

off for a time, but they'll break over after a while, giving 
as excuse that their president got drunk first, or their 
treasurer stole their money and run away, or something 
else, and then they'll make up for lost time. I've seen 
often, Phil, that the very fact of taking a pledge made 
people want whiskey worse than before. And then some- 
times, all of a sudden, some of 'em go to getting sickly — 
have a bad cold or a bronchial affection (that's the biggest 
and longest- lasting disease), and then they have to take 
a little for medicine, and so here they go. My notion is, 
better leave such things with everybody himself. Let 
him male a man of himself if it's in him, and if it ain't, 
let him be a beast, and be treated as one, and not punish 
the one that sold the liquor. The law in our country 
seems to be always after the wrong fellow. It's after the 
whiskey seller, when it ought to be after the whiskey 
drinker." 

After some discussion, we concluded to give three 
days of the time we had set apart for Paris to an excur- 
sion to Chamouni. 

Bright and early next day we were in the diligence, 
Jim sitting between the coachman and one of the pro- 
prietors of the line, who, or one of whose partners, we 
ascertained, accompanied every travel to and fro, for the 
better security of all. I took the first front seat. Soon 
we had crossed the Foron, and were trotting gayly along 
in Savoy. Jim was interested in the manner of hooking 
up the team of five horses (the three in front abreast), 
and the dexterous use of the driver's whip. He noticed, 
he said, that the dullest horse at every relay was placed 
in the middle, and he called my attention to how the 
driver gave this particular beast occasionally a gentle 
caution, as he called it. "With an execration, and with- 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 231 

out a movement of any portion of his body, except his 
long, slender, wiry arm, he raised his whip, described 
with the long lash several curious rotary motions, and 
then, as he lifted suddenly the staff high in the air, the 
end of the lash flew with the rapidity of an arrow under- 
neath but not touching the off-horse, and cut the flank 
of the dullard, sounding as if it had penetrated deeply 
into the flesh. It would be long before he would require 
another "caution." 

Though there was much of the picturesque in the 
country through which we passed, along by Bonneville, 
Cluses, Sallance, and Ouches, we had become too familiar 
with such and finer views to be very much interested. 
We reached Chamouni {Hotel des Alpes) in time to take, 
before dark, a hurried excursion to the Glacier Bossons. 
As we toiled up the ascent, Jim was amused greatly 
when I would pause behind to recover my breath and 
mop my face with my handkerchief. 

" Living in town on books and the other luxuries don't 
get a fellow up for this sort of exercise, eh, old gentle- 
man ? " 

He had already gotten upon good terms with the 
guide, although the latter could not speak English, and 
Jim's own vocabulary of foreign words was yet quite on 
this side of his adequate two dozen. The guide smiled 
at the raillery upon myself, though he patiently waited 
until I could rest and renew the ascent. Jim would 
call to him, point back over his shoulder, and say: 

"Sheval. Ee want she val. Ee — not (nix) use — walk 
— much. Oui ? " 

"Oh, oui, monsieur," the good fellow would answer 
and lead slowly on. 

" Slow and distinct, Phil, you see, with a few gestures 



232 TWO GBAY TOUEISTS. 

flung in to help. They understand me about as well as 
they do you with what French you've got." 

Arrived at the point whence we were to make the pas- 
sage, two boys presented themselves with what we took 
to be a couple of pairs of spurs. 

"What in the name of thunder are you going to do 
with them. spurs, my little chaps?" 

The boys looked strangely at him and interrogatively 
at the guide, who informed me for what they were 
intended. 

" They are creepers, Jim," said I. 

" Creepers ! Well, I've heard of creepers ; but these 
here ain't the sort we have in Georgia. What are they 
for?" 

" To walk with upon the ice ; if we go to slipping 
about here we may not be able to stop under half a mile." 

" We live and learn. Fetch along your creepers, my 
little fellows." 

They buckled them on, and we sallied forth. Though, 
compared with the Mer de Glace, this is an inconsider- 
able glacier, yet it was wonderful to us, as we walked 
carefully along and looked upward and downward upon 
the strange spectacle. Soon we came to a point where 
the glacier suddenly ascended somewhat, and the guide 
stood before an open door cut in the ice, through which 
we could see a passage lighted with lamps. "Le Grotto" 
he said, and went in, we following. The passage wound 
around and around, and with the strangely colored lights 
became more and more dismal and sepulchral. 

"Look here, old fellow," said Jim to the guide, "how 
long before we get out of this concern ? " 

The man smiled, continued to advance, and in three 
or four minutes we emerged through another door. 



TWO QUAY TOURISTS 233 

On the following morning we were on the backs of 
mules to ascend the Montanvert. 

"No choice of nags here, Phil. A mule's a mule. 
Do you call him a sheval, too? Take whichever you 
fancy. That's why they use mules, you see," he went 
on, when we found we were on a narrower, steeper path 
than that over the Wengernalp. " Look how steady and 
solid they come down with their feet." 

By this time we had become quite used to foot travel- 
ling by holding on to the tails of the beasts. Jim said 
a Georgia mule would'nt stand that ; however, these fel- 
lows, he supposed, had'nt any purchase to kick. Ar- 
rived at the point of crossing the Mer de Glace, besides 
the creepers, we had provided ourselves with a staff 
apiece about six feet long and armed with a sharp, iron 
point o for there are places on that wonderful road where 
one needs three legs and the utmost caution in their 
employment. The boys who had shod our heels ad- 
vanced with hatchets and chopped, in especially narrow 
and dangerous places, notches in the ice for our feet to 
tread in greater security. We travelled very slowly, 
partly to avoid with extremest care the bottomless 
chasms, and partly to view the sublime scene. The 
rugged mountains far, far higher up above our heads, 
and this sea of eternal ice extending far away down and 
up the mountain gorge, hundreds of feet in thickness, 
the edges piled with huge masses of earth and rocks 
and stones that in the lapse of time had broken off from 
the mountains' sides and become fastened among the 
immovable glaciers, the huge chasms to our right and 
left, sometimes with a pass between of only a few inches; 
these were awful, but they were thrillingly interesting 
to see. I am quite sure I should have returned by the 
20* 



234 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

same route had I known of what sort was the celebrated 
Mayvais pus of which I had read, but of which I was 
afterwards surprised to hear tourists speaking as if it 
was not greatly to be dreaded. I have never thought of 
it since without some shuddering. 

"You go ahead, Phil, next to the guide, I'll follow 
right on behind. All right, old fellow. Lively times, 
ain't they ? " 

I looked ahead. A mountain rising almost perpen- 
dicularly above me on the side of which I must walk on 
narrow steps cut into and running spirally for apparently 
six or eight hundred feet over a chasm down which I 
dare not look ! How anyone could ever make this pass- 
age before the iron railing was fastened against the 
mountain, is beyond my understanding. Without it, I 
am confident I should have been lost. As it was, hang- 
ing with my left hand to the guide's right, I pulled my- 
self slowly along with my right upon the railing. An 
occasional word from Jim, as if there was nothing espe- 
cially remarkable in the situation, and the perfect cool- 
ness of the guide were of inexpressible value to me. 
"When we reached the firm landing at last, on a small 
plain of the Flegere, where the little house called the 
Chapeau is situated, I sank down upon the ground ex- 
hausted. I had scarcely done so, when Jim brought to 
me a glass of brandy and soda. 

" Speaking of groceries, and of their ' loose and lucid 
ways,' as Jack Moss used to say, it's a fine thing that 
there ain't any law against getting a drink here. If 
ever I saw a fellow who needed one it's you at this minute. 
You've seen her one time, Phil, have'nt you ? " 

"One time, Jim, one lime." 

He told me afterwards, that although he had felt a 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 235 

little ticklish at first, he lost all personal apprehension 
in the sight of my condition, and that I should not be 
more pale when dead. After purchasing at the Chapecm 
a few trinkets which had been made ostensibly from the 
various minerals in the mountains, we mounted our 
mules that had been brought around, and descended the 
Flegere. On the way we met other tourists who were 
making the excursion in the reversed direction. As we 
approached the narrowest point of one of the ledges, 
where the path was not more than four feet wide, I had 
occasion to notice the sagacity of the mule. The fore- 
most of our party met there the foremost of another, 
who was a lady. The mule that bore her stopped as he 
met the descending one, and leaned himself closely 
against the side of the mountain, and the others in his 
train followed his example until all of ours had passed, 
after which they straightened themselves and went on 
toiling upwards. 

" That's what I call sense," said Jim. 

The return to Geneva being a descent all the way, was 
shorter by several hours than the previous travel. It 
was an exalted enjoyment to sit on the lumbering dili- 
gence and travel down a spiral declivity of over forty 
miles, alternately on the sides of high mountains, and 
in ever descending fertile valleys. Early in the after- 
noon, we drove at a sweeping trot into Geneva, and had 
ample time to visit the jewelry stores, in one of which 
(Berguer et Fils) Jim had bargained for a watch for 
his wife and some trinkets for his children. 

"How do you think Emily will like it, Phil?" said 
he, holding up a beautifully-enameled watch and chain. 

" She'll be delighted, I am sure." 

" She told me not to spend any money on her account," 



236 TWO GHAY TOUEISTS. 

"Why do you do it then?" 

" Laws, Phil ! Don't you understand women better 
than that? She just said that to keep me from spend- 
ing too much. She knew that I should'nt think of 
going back without carrying some present to her, and 
she'd be disappointed if I did'nt. All women are like 
old Judge Dooly's wife, some more and some less. The 
old judge, who was a wild old fellow, you know, used to 
say that when he stayed away a long time on one of his 
frolics, and expected a scolding at home, he took pains 
to carry to his wife a new set of chainy. He always 
would call china, chainy" 

Our route northward took us along through the centre 
of the province of Ain, so variously picturesque, with 
its mountains in the east, its lakes and meadow lands in 
the west, passing into Saone-et-Loire near its capital 
city, Macon, and along the beautiful banks of the Saone 
river to Chalons, and thence into the Cote D'Or. 

"This town looks as if it had been here for some 
time," said Jim, as we reached Chalons, while the train 
halted for some minutes as others, laden mostly with 
with wine-casks, were slowly moving up and down in 
the change of switches. 

"This is the Caballinum of the Aedui. Your old 
friend Dumnorix used to cut a high figure all through 
this country. Just here, also, was one of Caesar's gran- 
aries." 

Travelling over the Cote D'Or, we had fine views of 
the rich vineyards, which the Burgundy wines, the 
Yqem, Vougeot, Chambertin, and others made famous. 
The afternoon at Dijon we spent in strolling about the 
ancient capital, the semicircular palace of the Dukes of 
Burgundy, now degenerated into a town-hall and mu- 
seum, and the environs, which are very pleasing. 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 237 

" More old walls," remarked Jim ; " but then they 
leave room for the town to grow some, not like them at 
old Chester. Then these ramparts, with their nice 
shade trees, make walking here delightful. Another 
thing: a fellow can always tell where he is." 

What we had done seldom hitherto, for lack of time, 
we dined at the table d'hote. We noticed that by each 
person's plate a quart bottle of Burgundy was set. Few 
of the guests called for more ; yet scarcely one, even of 
the young men, failed to consume his bottle. We had 
both gotten to prefer the red wine to the white. That 
night we purchased for a trifling sum in one of the 
shops a bottle of Chambertin to help out onr morrow's 
lunch. At about ten o'clock next morning, we were 
again en route for Paris. 

"Ain't it a comfort, Phil, to have our faces turned 
towards home once more ? I did'nt let you know it, but 
I felt mighty homesick as we started on that long jour- 
ney to Ohamouni. I begin to breathe freer with my 
face turned in this direction. I'm grudging every mile 
now between me and old Georgia." 

We were in fine health and mood, with a plenty of 
what was good to eat, and drink, and smoke, on the 
express that flew along in the direction of home. On 
either side, as we looked from the windows of our coupe, 
the cornfields and vineyards smiled in the sunlight, and 
the laborers busily plied their hands or followed their 
teams. My old friend, now grown, if possible, more 
dear than ever, ran on in his alternations of serious and 
sportive conversation, now remarking on the culture 
and crops, and general productions of the country, 
and how they differed from our own, now with affec- 
tionate railing at me for some new evidence of absent- 



238 TWO GKAY TOUBISTS. 

mindedness or want of interest in present states of 
things, and now with tender allusions to our best 
beloved, from whom we had received at Geneva cheerful 
tidings, winding up with words of gratitude to Provi- 
dence who had taken care of all in the period of sepa- 
ration. At Sens, in the province of Yonne, I had some- 
thing to say about the Senones Gauls, from whom the 
city derived its name, their achievements under Bren- 
nus, and their final overthrow under Dolabella. 

"That what makes you look so old, Phil. You are 
always studying about old things, old people, old towns, 
and old walls. Sometimes I think, from the way you 
make 'em last you, that you rather have an old hat or 
an old horse than new. It ain't because you're stingy — 
because there ain't a stingy bone in you — but because 
they are old. You've been so all your life. And, 
speaking of old things," he continued, rising, and taking 
down the basket, "let's try a little of this old wine. 
Of all the old things in this country that's the one that 
suits my fancy the most." 

The westward bound travel, the choice lunch, the 
Chambertin, the glorious day, the sweet valleys and 
hillsides along the Yonne and the Seine, all gave to us 
good appetites and spirits, and then we chatted and 
smoked, and smoked and chatted in the full enjoyment 
of all we saw. 

"Oh, Jim!" I exclaimed once, when he had been 
running over with the heartiest talk, "you are a glorious 
old trump of a fellow. How could I ever have taken 
this journey with anybody but you ? " 

" Hello ! You breaking out in a fresh place all of a 
sudden? Nonsense," and he went on to remarking 
how, now that we were in Seine-et-Marne, the vineyards 



TWO GKAY TOUKISTS. 239 

were becoming less frequent, and pasture lands and 
cattle more abundant. When we had passed Fontaine- 
bleau, the train seemed to be endeavoring to rival the 
wind as it sped along the Seine. The splendid city rose 
to our view for many miles before reaching it, and our 
hearts beat quicker as we drew nearer and nearer. 




CHAPTER XIX, 




LTHOUGH it was late in the afternoon when 
I we reached Paris, in spite of the long day's 
travel, we set ou«t for a walk after tea. Taking 
irp the Eue Kivoli, on which, opposite the 
Gardens of the Tnilleries, was our hotel (the Menrice),we 
soon reached the Place de la Concorde. The myriads of 
lights rendered this as well as the Champs Elysses almost 
as bright as the day. As we walked along, lingering 
occasionally at one of the Cafees Chantants and mingled 
among the thousands of passengers on foot, on horse- 
back, in carriages with lanterns, returning from or ad- 
vancing towards the Arc of Triomph, and heard the 
bands of music and the singing girls, we thought how 
inadequate had been any descriptions that we had ever 
seen or heard to give even an approximation to a just 
idea of this the most splendid avenue of the world. Jim 
had little to say at first. The theme seemed too vast for 
him, somehow. 

"This is the place, Phil," said he at length, "where 
they had that cussed gulletin, this Place de la Concorde, 
as they call it." 

" Guillotine, Jim, guillotine." 

" I thought it was gulletin. I know it went through 
a fellow's gullet in a jiffey." 

(240) 



TWO GRAY TOUEISTS. 241 

"You did'nt think any such thing. How gay, and 
how unlike the bloody scenes that have been enacted 
upon this spot, now so ineffably beautiful, during the 
hundred years from the frightful though unintentional 
slaughter of the crowds at the nuptials of Louis XVI to 
the battle with the Communists not long ago! How 
many of the illustrious of earth, men and women, cleric 
and lay, orators, poets, warriors, statesmen, Jacobin and 
Gironde, have poured out their blood here ! " 

" Everybody's got their time, you know, Phil. Yon- 
der's something old enough for you, I take it — that 
Egyptian pillar. Fifteen hundred years before our 
Saviour. It's the handsomest old thing I've seen yet." 

Next morning being Sunday, he said he would like 
the best in the world to be able to go to a regular old- 
fashioned Georgia meeting, and hear some good old- 
fashioned solid singing and preaching from a regular 
stated preacher. Sundays made him realize, more than 
any other days, that he was away from home. 

"Not that I'm so very fond of going to church, for I 
ain't half as much so as I ought to be ; but somehow I 
feel the necessity of such things over here more than I 
do at home." 

He got his Bible, went to his room, and after remain- 
ing there for about an hour returned and was as cheer- 
ful as ever. Again we sallied out on the same route as 
the previous night, continuing our walk to the Arc de 
Triomph, and, returning on the southern side of the 
Champs Elysses, entered the Tuilleries Gardens. At 
every few paces wherever we went there were small 
booths, in which wine and confections were exposed for 
sale. Beneath the trees in the gardens boys and youn^ 
men were playing at foot-ball and other sports. 
21 



242 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

"Ain't this a niee way of spending Sunday ? Every 
man, woman and child in the town, it seems to me, is on 
the streets. Don't anybody here ever go to meeting of a 
Sunday?" 

"Yes, more than those of any town of its size in the 
world. These people you see, the most of them, have 
been to church already, some two, some three, and some 
as many as five hours ago." 

" You don't mean to tell me so ? " 

" Yes, indeed. Don't you remember what you saw in 
Cologne ? By this time four-fifths at least of the relig- 
ious services are over for the day, except for Vespers in 
some of the churches this afternoon, and the people are 
eut to spend the rest of the day in relaxation. The 
churches have been opened ever since before five o'clock 
this morning." 

"Well, well. I don't think about such things as I 
used to — that is, not exactly. Our people make some 
mistakes, in my opinion, about keeping Sunday. But 
over here they carry it too far 'tother way, it seems to 
me. There's reason in everything. All this here, Phil, 
looks to me just like a regular Fourth of July instead 
of a Sunday. However, it's none of my business. I 
did'nt suppose any of these out here had thought about 
going to meeting to-day. Curious people. But they 
go in strong for what they go in for at all — peace or 
war, work or play. It's fight or play with them, which- 
ever anybody chooses to have. Gracious! did'nt that 
fellow make a good strike with that ball ! Some of 'em 
play like, as we say in Georgia, they been playing of 
Sundays, sure enough." 

Alternately sitting or standing or moving among the 
gay throngs in these lovely gardens, our senses reeled 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 248 

with the strange multifold sights. But for Jim's occa- 
sional homely remarks, I might have suspected myself 
to have been dreaming of the scenes of enchantment 
which I had been so fond of reading about in childhood. 
In the afternoon we walked down the Rue Castiglione to 
the Place Vendome. Turning into the Rue des Capu- 
chins, we reached the Boulevard Madeleine that led us 
to the great temple. We sat on a bench beneath one of 
the trees in the Place and looked up towards this the 
finest specimen of Greek architecture now in the world. 

" I give it up. It beats everything in that line I've 
seen yet." 

"A proper memorial to the saint." 

"What saint?" 

" St. Mary Magdalen." 

"Is that so?" 

" Yes, indeed. She is the favorite of the female saints 
with the French. She died in France, you know." 

" No, I did'nt know any such thing. I supposed she 
died about Bethany, where she used to live." 

"No. After the crucifixion she removed with her 
brother Lazarus to France and spent the remainder of 
her life, which was over thirty years, in the neighbor- 
hood of Marseilles. Some of her relics are in this 
church." 

"You don't mean that Mary Magdalen and Lazarus' 
sister Mary were the same person ? " 

"I do.*' 

" That's news to me. What do they keep relics of her 
here for?" 

" Why do you keep the lock of your mother's hair ? " 

He made no answer for a moment. 

"Yes; I suppose it's sorter for the same reason; 
maybe a better." 



244 TWO GEAY TOURISTS. 

At night, the Champs Elysses were, if possible, more 
brilliant, and certainly more thronged than the last. 

" I never expected, Phil, to see such carryings on of a 
Sunday; but it won't hurt you and me, I suppose, to 
look at 'em. Their doings, as I said before, ain't any of 
my business ; so let's see 'em through." 

Having but a week to devote to Paris, we must work 
with system and rapidity. Taking a voiture early on 
Monday, we travelled slowly down the Rue Rivoli, halt- 
ing to notice particularly the most notable places on 
the way, as the Tuilleries, Louvre, Tour de St. Jacques, 
the Hotel de Ville (rising, like the Vendome Column, 
from its ruins), the Place de la Bastille, where the July 
Column now occupies the site of the old prison, and 
down the world-renowned Faubourg St. Antoine to the 
Place de Trdne. 

"The blood," said Jim, "the blood that has been 
poured out all along the way we have been coming. I've 
wanted often to see this— forierg, or whatever you call 
it, and the Bastille. I've read a good deal of the history 
of these people; and when I get back home, please 
God I'm spared to get back, I'm going to read it all 
over again now that I'm finding out how these places 
stand to one another. At the place where we are now, 
Eobespierre and those other rascals had another of those 
cussed things to cut off the heads of the fellows in this 
end of the town. One was'nt enough to do all that sort 
of business. Ain't it curious, too, that like that Con- 
corde Place, this one is where, on the great holidays, 
they have the fire-works and the big shows ? " 

Following the Boulevard Charonne into the Menil- 
montant, we alighted before the gate of Pere Lachaise 
and spent an hour within it. This cemetery was less 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 215 

impressive than I had anticipated. The difficulty, even 
with the help of maps, in finding the tombs of specially 
noted persons, and their wide separation from one 
another, diminished the interest. Jim remarked that 
as a matter of curiosity, graveyards were not his favor- 
ite, and he was glad to get out. Eesumiug our drive, 
we made for Notre Dame on that Isle de la Cite, 
Lutetia Parisiorum, "Lutetia the Beloved" of Julian the 
Apostate. Although I had been in so many cathedrals, 
I did not enjoy less the sight of this. Advancing to the 
spot where the great Napoleon had been crowned, we 
walked around the interior, musing upon its antiquity, 
its monuments, its marvellous windows, its vast organ, 
and, calling to mind the great events that had been 
enacted there mostly in the name, but some in the 
avowed dishonor of Christ. Jim never approached a 
shrine before which poor persons, especially poor females 
were kneeling, without exhibiting the utmost respect. 

" This is all so new to me," he whispered, " and I tell 
you it looks becoming. These people pray like they 
knew there was something in prayer. Look at that poor 
old woman yonder. She has'nt taken her eyes off that 
picture of the Virgin since we've been in here. She 
has'nt noticed anybody, not even those that have been 
standing by where she is kneeling, and looking at and 
talking about the picture. Such faith as that is worth 
having." I turned and saw an aged crone in tattered 
garments kneeling, her withered hands clasped, and her 
lips silently moving, before a shrine. As we left the 
church, she was in the same attitude. 

Crossing the south fork of the river, we lingered at 
the Place de Termes, where Julian was proclaimed 
emperor by the Gallic legions when the alternative was 
gi* 



240 TWO GRAY TOURlSTg. 

presented of empire or death. A strange career for one 
who, the greatest of his race, had been driven back into 
paganism by the persecutions of the house of Constan- 
tine. His was the saddest career of all kings. 

On by the quays Montebello, de Toumelle, and Saint 
Bernard, through the Jar din des Plantes, returning 
again and passing to the Sorbonne, the Pantheon, and 
the Luxembourg. As we rode slowly along, we noticed 
the people taking, some dinner, and some lunch, upon 
tables on the pavement in front of the numberless 
eating-houses on every street. 

"These people literally live out of doors, Phil; at 
least in the summer time. And the wine, the wine, the 
wine they do drink here in one day. Yet we have'nt 
seen but one man drunk yet, that fellow in Geneva. 
Strange people, always drinking and not getting drunk. 
There's a lesson in all this for our big men and good 
men at home to study. I can't make it out myself, and 
that don't run in my line. About joining temperance 
societies, and signing temperance petitions, I'm about 
like old Col. Blackford." 

"How was that?" 

"The old Colonel was a Methodist, you know, and 
about the best man in his neighborhood. They had 
started a temperance society there and tried to get him 
to sign the pledge for the sake of the example, as they 
put it. The old Colonel sometimes would take his 
morning dram. He told the brethren that he was 
seventy-five years old, and that liquor, what little he 
had taken, had never done him any particular harm as 
he knew of, and that sometimes he felt that he actually 
needed a little stimulant. As for the example he said that 
his ideas had changed on that subject many a year ago. 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 247 

When he was a young man, he was very proud of him- 
self, and thought that there was a tremendous amount 
of responsibility on him about other people, and that 
he ought to try to make everybody quit his foolishness 
and do right. But he was like the farmers who some- 
times overcropped themselves and got in the grass, and 
he found at last that it was about as much as he could 
do, and that put him to his trumps many a time, to 
take care of himself. So you may go on, you French 
people. You can beat us, a hundred times over again, 
drinking, one thing and another, but we can whip you 
out all hollow in getting drunk. I don't understand it, 
and, by good luck, it ain't any of my business. And 
here's the place that of all in this town I wanted most 
to see." 

We had reached the Hotel cles Invalides, the Temple 
of Humanity (as it was first named), where France ten- 
derly cares for her disabled soldiers. Many of these we 
noticed, some walking, others, without legs, rolling them- 
selves leisurely along the spacious grounds in their 
wheeled chairs, all seeming contented with the care 
which their grateful country bestowed for their services 
and sufferings. We caught an occasional glimpse of 
the white bonnets of the Sisters of Charity, whose busi- 
ness it is to nurse the sick in the multitude of invalids 
there gathered. 

" They know how to take care of their old soldiers 
sure," said Jim. " These without legs get more than those 
with 'em. That is, they are credited with what their shoes 
would cost. Everyone is allowed so much, and what- 
ever one can save goes to his credit, and he can lay up a 
little something from year to year. What I want to see 
most is the place where the old fellow is lying." 



248 TWO GRAY TOUEISTS. 

It was touching to observe the respect with which he 
approached the centre of the noble building, and placing 
his hands upon the railing in the circular enclosure, 
leaned over, and looked down upon the sarcophagus 
which contained the dust of the great Captain. It is a 
tomb of exquisite fitness and taste, and it impresses the 
visitor even more than anything in Westminster Abbey. 
At that, one bows before the majesty of death and his 
power to bring into such small compass the mighty 
dead of many centuries, and the individual is merged 
in the multitude. But here, in the centre of this mag- 
nificent structure, in a circle defending by a railing all 
from approaching its centre, is the bier of that one hero, 
and him alone, and one imagines that he is required to 
feel that he stands by the tomb of the greatest of all 
times. After we had retired and were again in the voi- 
ture, Jim said : 

" They had to bring him back there, but they waited 
until he had been dead twenty years." 

As we passed along the Champ de Mars, we noticed 
several companies of infantry drilling. 

" Go it, my fine fellows," said Jim. " Somehow, you 
did'nt have your hands in at your last fight. You'll 
have to try them Germans again some day. You'll 
have your hands full, too, but I think you can get even 
with 'em. It may not be in our day, Phil. But it will 
come. These are a freer people than the Germans, and 
love their country better. When they get a man who 
knows how to lead, they'll pay 'em back." 

As we rode down the Quai B* Or say, we were impressed 
by the large number of ill-looking washwomen about 
the laundry establishments on the river. Jim said that 
at the hotel an Englishman had told him that washing 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 240 

clothes was usually the last resort of the abandoned 
women of the town. 

" When they begin to get old, and are still poor, they 
go to the wash-tub for a living, and many of them, when 
they can't make it at that, drown themselves in the river." 

We crossed at the Pont de la Concorde. 

" They seem to go for that name in this neighborhood. 
Do you know where the stones in this bridge came from 
mostly? Why, from that old Bastille prison. I read 
that last night. They've sounded to many a groan." 

But a short time after dinner we had for a drive in 
the Bois de Boulogne. Besides that the season was 
past in Paris, it is not to be admired at any time as 
Hyde Park. We had now been going all day, and the 
wholesome fatigue invited repose. Yet, we lingered for 
an hour or two in the glass-covered court of the hotel, 
and talked over what we had seen during the day. 




CHAPTER XX, 




PROPOSED, next day, visits to the palaces, 
especially the Luxembourg and Louvre. 

" Now, see here, Phil ; one of the troubles on 
my mind before coming to this town was the 
fear that I might finish off what part of my neck has'nt 
been broke already looking up at old pictures; for I knew 
you'd want to see them here, and I thought I should be 
afraid to separate from you because I can't speak French. 
But I find I can get along with these people better than 
I expected. I don't understand a word they say ; but 
by talking slow and distinct and with signs one way and 
another, I can make them understand in general what I 
want. Then I know they can't lose me. I'll travel 
around with you for awhile ; but when it gets too bad, 
I'm going to quit and peruse on my own hook. But 
carry me first to some pictures that I can understand." 

''All right. To the Luxembourg." 

He was better pleased than he expected to be, and he 
admired, equally with myself, such pictures as Appert's 
Pope Alexander HI Disguised as a Mendicant, Barrias' 
Exiles of Tiberius, Bertrand's Death of Virginia, Cou- 
der's Levite of Ephraim, Muller's Prisoners of the Con- 
ciergerie, and especially Delaroche's Death of Queen 
Elizabeth. 

"My Lord! 

(250) 



he exclaimed, before the last, "I've 



TWO GEAY TOUEISTS. 251 

heard of pictures being called like life, but this is death 
itself." 

A wonderful painting, indeed. The expression of those 
dying eyes will never be forgotten. They were the eyes 
of one who had been a queen to the last, and who, as she 
had not rendered mercy, had no expectation of it from 
her conqueror. 

Jim lingered long enough in the Louvre to be able, as 
he said, to tell them that he had been there and taken 
in every blamed one of the old masters and left me to 
bring up the " drap-shot gang," then we parted with the 
understanding that we should meet for dinner at the 
Palais Boy ale. On repairing to this spot, I found him 
already there. He had become uneasy, he said, about me, 
and was afraid that, if I got there before him and did 
not find him at once, I might go to loging and prowling 
about looking for him and so get lost. And then again, 
he was hungry. 

After dinner we promenaded for some time amidst the 
grounds and shops of this, so long styled, the capital of 
Paris. Nowhere in tlw world are to be found such mag- 
nificent shops. Sitting under the lime trees, we chatted 
long upon the events that in the several generations had 
transpired in that historic place, famous beyond all 
in the annals of mankind, for orgies, which cried out for 
punishment. In the matter of material pleasures, this 
area of a few acres has surpassed all others upon this 
earth. Epicures and debauchees, plots and conspiracies, 
what a long line since the death of the great cardinal ! 
The princely libertines now resort to more secret haunts, 
plotters and conspirators allow other places to divide 
honors with this, yet luxury fully maintains its ancient 
sway. 



252 TWO GKAY TOUKISTS. 

It might have been amusing to hear Jim and me 
afterwards as each vainly tried to entertain the other 
with accounts of what he had seen in the interval of 
separation. While I would be enlarging upon some pic- 
ture in the Louvre, or some great event enacted in one 
or another of its salons, he would be waiting to tell of the 
Grhobelin tapestry or the tumult of the Bourse. I had 
said, in speaking of the imperious tempers of some of the 
women of the house of Medici, that it really seemed as 
if they had been sent from hell. 

" Hell, you say, Phil ? I've been there or thereabout 
to-day. It was at the Bourse. I had heard of the fuss 
and confusion there, and wanted to see and hear for 
myself. I went first among the buyers and sellers. It 
was fun enough there, to see hundreds of fellows scream- 
ing and foaming at the mouth. One fellow would 
mount into a sort of cage, get on a platform, and bawl 
out what he had to sell, and the rest would bawl out 
what they were willing to give. At and around another 
cage another crowd would be doing the same thing, and 
everybody looked as if he wanted to cut everybody else's 
throat. I looked up and saw a gallery where whole 
crowds were coolly leaning over the balustrade and look- 
ing down. I went up there and stood awhile by a big 
Irish woman, who was gazing, evidently for the first 
time in her life, upon the scene. How she did enjoy it ! 
From the way the concern is built, or something I don't 
know what, the noise that comes up is beyond anything 
that my ears ever heard. She laughed and laughed, and 
shook her big sides, as if everything that was sold 
belonged to her and was bringing the highest sort of a 
price. Once in a while she would grunt and say: 

" 'And shure it is, all the divils is turned loose.' 



TWO GKAY TOUKISTS. 253 

"She hit the nail on the head. I felt like, Phil, I tell 
you I felt like I was on the brink of the pit and was 
listening to the damned roaring with the pain of the 
fire and brimstone." 

Next day, we took an excursion to Versailles by car- 
riage, going by St. Cloud and returning by Sevres. It 
was a sweet day, and we drove leisurely along the fine 
roads. The great fortresses, notably Valerien, were within 
oar view. It was sad to see the desolation in the wooded 
scenery that had been wrought all along the way by the 
Prussians and the government armies in the siege of 
the capital. The ancient Chateau of St. Cloud showed, 
even in its ruins, that it had been fit to be the residence 
of kings ; and in spite of the dismantled state of Ver- 
sailles, we could but wonder even then at the appalling 
sums that had been expended in order to make it what 
it was. Suites of rooms, a mile in extent, ornamented 
with pictures and statues of the best artists, grounds 
with terraces, parterres, and orangeries, basins, bosquets, 
fountains and quincunces, none but a grand monarch 
like Louis XIV, and none but a devoted people like the 
French could have created. I cannot say whether Jim 
was more entertained by the splendors he saw, or indig- 
nant at the enormity of their cost. He had gotten the 
figures and made calculations how much beyond the 
two hundred millions of dollars of original outlay these 
royal luxuries would have cost had no interruption been 
made to the design of converting the Eure from its 
channel and leading it through the palace grounds. 

" Kings," said he, " are an expensive piece of property." 

After a nice dinner at the Hotel de Reservoir, we set 
out again, and reached Sevres just as the porcelain 
works were being closed for the day. 

22 



254. TWO GKAY TOURISTS. 

" Missed 'em," said Jim, " and all for your hanging 
around them old pictures, and trying to study out the 
outlandish figures on the basins. It makes no difference 
though. I'm satisfied. I've seen the place where they 
make their chainy, as old Dooly called it." 

For this excursion, Jim had secured the services of 
his coachman of the day before. His liberality, his 
heartiness of manner, and considerateness of others, 
enabled him, in spite of the want of understanding of 
their tongues, to hold considerable genial communica- 
tion with whomsoever he met. He was always bound 
to have talk of some sort with his fellow-travellers. He 
had chosen our present companion because of his knowl- 
edge of a few English words. So, remembering, how- 
ever, always to be " slow and distinct," he spoke without 
restraint to him whenever he wished, persisting until he 
had made some sort of understanding. Once, as we 
were driving along, noticing a dog in the way, he cried 
out: 

"Coachee." 

" Oui, monsieur." 

"Dog there. Dog." 

" Oh, oui, monsieur." 

" Your Commune eat dog." 

" Pardon, monsieur ? " 

Jim opened his mouth, and acted as if he was putting 
something into it, and chewing it. 

"Eat, eat. Commune. Dog." 

"What a face he did make ! 

"Non, non monsieur; non chien? Non; trop mau- 
vais — too bard — Nous mangeons — chat ; chat bon — non 
chien ; non dog. Non — non ! " 

"Shar? What's that?" 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 255 

"Cat, Jim, cat." 

"Oui, monsieur; cart" 

"Not cart, my man. Cart's another thing altogether. 
Cat. He'd do, would he? but you could'nt come the 
dog?" 

" Non, non, monsieur." 

" But they did get to dogs at last, Phil, or at least a 
few. You know the reason why they did'nt eat 'em all ? " 

" Too bad, I suppose, as the coachman said." 

"No, sir. They could'nt catch 'em. I've read in a 
paper somewhere, that when at last they got down to 
the dogs, the poor creatures actually held one or two 
meetings, and the first thing anybody knew, they were 
all gone. I suppose they passed resolutions not to be 
eat up if they could help it. When the siege was broke, 
and a plenty of good victuals got in, here came back 
the dogs as thin as snakes, creeping out of all sorts of 
ont-of-the-way places, some even from holes in the 
ground. Just to think of two millions of people, as 
fond of good eating as these are, to be shut up in this 
town for months, and have to eat cats, and even dogs — 
and hard to get 'em at that." 

The next three days were spent in visiting what was 
possible to see of the most noted things, travelling some- 
times together, sometimes apart. Jim had managed 
to gather a great amount of information concerning 
what he called the live things of the town, while I was 
searching among the dead. He studied the quays, the 
system of sewerage, and other generally controlling- 
interests. Most of all, he admired the charitable insti- 
tutions. 

"It's perfectly wonderful, Phil, the numbers and the 
different kinds of 'em. The poor are provided for here 



256 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

better than they are in London. I should'nt have be- 
lieved it, bnt it's so. Some of these houses built for 'em 
they call hospices and some hospitals, and some a whole 
lot of outlandish names that I can't pronounce. There 
are some for old married people, and some for old widows, 
and some even for old widowers, and some for old bache- 
lors, and some for old maids, and some for old preachers, 
and some for children. There are dozens of what we 
would call nurseries, where poor women who have to 
work out put their children in the day and take 'em 
home at night. There is'nt any kind or form of sick- 
ness or want that they have'nt places here where it can be 
taken care of. And as for these Sisters of Charity and 
the other names they've got, there don't seem to be any end 
of them. Then they have what I should call travelling 
hospitals. They have physicians who visit the sick' 
poor at the public expense. They give the poor bath- 
tickets and such ; and they hire nurses from the country 
who take sick children home with 'em and keep 'em till 
they get well. I did'nt expect this; I thought what 
they went for over here mostly was finery and pleasure. 
As it is, I find that they are or appear to be the most 
charitable people I've seen yet. The French are a great 
people, not only in big things, but in little. Travelling 
does away with a heap of prejudice, at least when a fel- 
low keeps his eyes open and looks around. Don't it, 
Phil?" 

" Indeed it does." 

" Now, there's that Foundling Hospital, started by St. 
Vincent de Paul, they call him, two hundred years ago. 
it beats all. I declare it's enough to make a man cry, to 
see what care is taken of these poor children of sin. 
Then what I've noticed and found out about their going 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 257 

to meeting beginning at day -break, that struck me as 
much as anything else. I've seen 'em myself pouring out 
of a church when it was just daylight by hundreds, rich 
and poor, and another crowd pouring in right after 'em 
to another meeting. I had an idea that these priests 
were taken up mostly with good eating and such. The 
truth is, Phil, a man's a goose for condemning people 
and things that he knows nothing about." 

The day came for us to leave, and we were both glad 
that we had chosen Paris the last place for visiting. 

" It's a good rule, Phil, to save the best for the last — 
that is, if a fellow don't go and do like Bob Minton and 
eat so much meat and greens as to leave no room for pie 
and custard. If we'd seen Paris before the little places 
that we've been in, we should'nt have taken much interest 
in them. Take Brussels for instance. Brussels, it's plain 
to me, tries to be like Paris. I liked it mightily when 
I was there; but if I was to go there now I should be 
constantly thinking for awhile how much smaller it is 
than what it wants to look like. "We've seen 'em all 
now, little and big, or as many as we had laid out to 
see, saving the best for the last, and now I'm ready for 
home." 

We left after a too early breakfast ; but then we knew 
we could make up with a good, quiet dinner on the boat 
which we were to take at Dieppe at one o'clock in the 
afternoon. We looked back towards the glorious city as 
long as we could see it. The last object of our sight 
was the great Arch. 

" Far-you-well," said Jim, "all of you— Bonapartes 

and Bourbons, presidents and Frenchmen generally. 

I'm glad I've seen you one time. Far-you-well, I'm 

going now to see them that I think more of than all of 

22* 



258 TWO GEAY TOURISTS. 

yon. They ain't — that is, in the special — they ain't bnt 
one good, in fact splendid woman and a parcel of— well, 
just good, common children ; but I'd rather see them now 
than forty Parises and four hundred Arches of Triumph 
and forty thousand million of — let's try the weed." 

We turned our faces onward. The country of the 
Oise et-Seine, though not naturally fertile, yet rejoiced 
with market gardens, and afterwards, in Seine Inferieur, 
with fields and pasture lands. The wheat in Normandy 
was now all cut and standing in yellow shocks. 

" This is the Rotrimagus of the ancient Gauls, Jim," 
I said, as we passed through Eouen. 

"Indeed? All I remember about this town is the 
burning of that poor Joan of Arc by the English, and a 
mean piece of business it was." 

" That it was, and it was not long after the horrible 
outrage that the rule of that people passed away from 
this country." 

When we went on the boat, Jim asked the captain 
how long it would be before dinner, 

"I car n't say quite yet," answered he, looking out at 
the white-caps of the sea waves, and walking away. 

"That sounds suspicious. What in the mischief are 
all these bowls doing here on deck, Phil ? Why, here's 
ft least a dozen under these benches, and see yonder, the 
; :e\vardess is bringing up some more." 

I had no idea for what purpose they were there. 
Pifty or sixty passengers were with us, mostly Ameri- 
cans and English. We were delighted to hear again 
from all tongues our native speech. All were so gay. 
Several gentlemen were standing near the bridge when 
the steamer moved off. We had not proceeded more 
, than a knot, when suddenly a sea dashed from leeward, 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 259 

and the spray drove ns quickly aft. None seemed to 
have had any expectation of sea-sickness. But it was 
not fifteen minutes before the stewardesses were running 
about with the bowls in their hands and setting them 
down by ladies who had been taken so suddenly as not 
to be able to repair to the cabin or even to reach the 
railing. 

"Well, don't this beat anything— eddy— eddy— 
thig — " but Jim could'nt make it out. He managed to 
get to the railing, but he was soon upon his knees, and 
finally, holding on with one hand, lay on his side. The 
chopping sea tossed the little boat, as a cork in a shal- 
low running stream. All the suffering from sea-sickness 
that we had witnessed on the Atlantic was less violent 
than that endured in the few hours' passage from Dieppe 
to New Haven. Ill as I was, I felt seriously concerned 
for Jim, and especially for the women, who seemed to 
have abandoned themselves to despair. Some lay on 
the deck, others in the cabin, and rolled, and cried out, 
and actually howled with the agony of nausea. In their 
tossing, the clothes of some of them became sadly dis- 
arranged; but there were none to criticise or to care. 
The relief, when we reached New Haven, was as instan- 
taneous as the attack. Having partaken hastily, but 
heartily, of coffee and bread at the buffet, we were again 
upon the cars. 

"I never should have believed it," said Jim. "I 
did'nt know that a fellow could have the cussed thing 
twice. It gets worse the oftener it takes you. What 
time it lasted, I do believe I was worse off than on the 
Atlantic. I felt like I was going to turn inside out, 
blamed if I did'nt. But some of those poor women 
were worse off, if possible, than I was. One of 'em, 



260 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

and she was a good-looking one at that, was lying just 
behind me, and in rolling herself about, she kicked me 
on the back of my head several times. I did'nt let on, 
and I did'nt care. For my misery, as old Jim Williams 
said, was all innards, and it would have taken harder 
things than a sick woman's heels to hurt me on the out- 
side. And did'nt they howl ? I don't think I exactly 
howled, but I done some tall barking. But that hot 
coffee was good. I hid three cups of it, and ain't it 
nice now ? 

" Oh, de long time ago, 
I'm a rollin' ! " 

As the train dashed along, he broke forth into this 
favorite old corn song. 

I could not but almost envy that hearty, ingenuous 
nature which, though with the tenderness of a child 
ready to yield to suffering of whatever kind, was as 
quick to mount into joyousness when it was past. How 
he did rattle along in the sudden relief from seasickness, 
being again among English-speaking people, and home- 
ward bound. He said he was really hongry for old 
Georgia talk, and declared that, if he had a chance, he 
believed he could make a speech. 

"All I want now, sir, is a subject and an audience." 

" I'll be the audience, Jim." 

"Ain't big enough, and ain't appreciative enough. 
But will the audience, such as it is, start me off with a 
little applause?" 

"Certainly," and I clapped my hands loudly and 
shouted huzzas. 

" Give me a subject then. Be quick about it, while 
the sperrit's on me." 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 261 

" Oh, anything. Take Southdown sheep, for here we 
are now passing over the great Sussex downs." 

"All right. These celebrated sheep — my client — gen- 
tlemen of the jury — how'll that do ? " 

"Won't do." 

" Brethering and sisters — " 

" Worse and worse." 

" Eespected audience," 

"Eight; proceed. Hear, hear." 

" Make the rest of it yourself, confound you. If you 
had'nt put me out at the start I should have delivered a 
speech that would have made your hair stand and the 
goose bumps come out all over you." 

"Oh, you Jim! You dear old Jim Eawls! You 
absurd, glorious, darling old scamp ! " 

"Oh, de long time o' day 
I'm a rollin'." 

"Mrs. Eawls is right about your voice, Jim. You 
have a — you have a plenty of voice." 

"Ah, Philemon, my friend, nobody knows, the same as 
that judgmatical woman, what this world and society in 
general lost by me not being sent to a singing school 
when a boy." 

" You always loved the corn-song. So did I. It is a 
strange music, but often very touching, not only in 
chorus, but in solo. Most of the airs, I doubt not, are 
national. That sort of music, you know, is peculiar to 
peoples who have had no foreign admixture. Thus, the 
Greeks had it, the Eomans not ; the Scotch and the Irish 
have it, the English not. Of course, Americans, white 
Americans, made from more elements than were in the 
image of Nebuchadnezzar, have it not. I have been told 



26$ TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

that since the war the negroes have given up much of 
theirs." 

"Yes, sir, three-fourths of it, if not more. In old 
times one could seldom pass a field where they were at 
work without having a song of some sort from one or 
more of them." 

" What, in your opinion, are the causes of the change?" 

" Their minds have not now the leisure. Instead of 
having their thinking done by their owners, they now 
have to do it for themselves." 

" How do you regard the prospects before them ? " 

"That's the toughest problem that the American 
people have yet had on their hands. The good Lord 
only knows how it is to be worked out; no man does. 
The negroes increase by births about as fast as the 
whites, but there are many more deaths among them. 
The difference will be greater as the country fills with 
population and the price of land gets higher. Land is 
so cheap now that they get an easy living ; after a while 
things will be very different." 

" Why, I have heard that a good many of them own 
lands." 

" The tax books and the newspapers say so." 

"But is it not true?" 

" Quite a number in Middle Georgia (that's the only 
section I can speak about) have entered on lands for 
which they have bonds for titles. Many have made the 
first payment, some the second, a few, a very few, have 
gone further than that. The great majority never have, 
and never will. They have not the prudence, and their 
families have not the economy to lay up beyond a living 
on their yearly crops. If there is a people specially to 
be pitied, they are the negroes of the South. It is sad 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. £63 

to see a people, affectionate and grateful as they are, find- 
ing it more and more difficult to get what the most 
reasonable and the least ambitious among them hoped 
for immediately after their emancipation." 
"You think they are a grateful people ?"" 
" Eemarkably so ; that is, the old set, when not inter- 
fered with and fooled by rascally politicians, black and 
white. I wish that the education which we are giving 
them in Georgia (for you know that public provision in 
that respect is the same for them as for the whites), I 
say I wish it would do them more good, instead of lead- 
ing the most of them who get it to wish to be public 
characters, as politicians, preachers and other church- 
officials, school-teachers, etc. I tell you it is a tough 
business, the negro problem is. I don't like to try to 
argue it, and its because I don't know how. But in 
that, Phil, I'm like Sam Spivey, when after being 
whipped at school about twenty-five times for not get- 
ting the multiplication table, Pete Strieker asked him 
if he knew how much seven times nine was, and what 
was the difference between that and nine times seven, 
he said, no he did'nt, and he did'nt believe there was 
anybody in the world that did." 

For some time the darkness had been hindering views 
of this county and Surrey. We were in London in time 
for a good dinner at 8t. James' f Piccadilly. 



CHAPTER XXI, 




UK engagements were to return on the Servia, 
which was to sail the coming week. We had 
planned a three days' visit to the English 
lakes and Ireland, arranging to meet the 
steamer at Queenstown. So, lingering but a day in 
London, and that mostly for making other purchases of 
presents for our friends at home, we took the morning 
train on the Great Northwestern Kailway for Liverpool. 

"Gardens, gardens; orchards, orchards," exclaimed 
Jim, when we were out of Middlesex, and far on the 
way in Hertfordshire. "It takes gardens upon gardens, 
and orchards upon orchards to supply that same village 
of London. The things, the things that go into its 
great maw. But it's a rich little country around it, and 
these people know what to do with it. Here we are 
nearly through two counties, and everything that is 
made in 'em goes to feed London, people or horses. 
What a curious name this little town has : Tring." 

" Tring ? Tring ? That's where Nell Gwynne lived." 

"You mean that piece that one of those old kings 
made so much of ? " 

"Yes; Tring-Park House was a fine mansion that 
Charles II had built for her." 

"But all he did could'nt keep her from the end that 
(264) 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 265 

such people are bound to come to. 'Don't; let poor 
Nellie starve: ' that showed that the old fellow had some 
heart, at least on his death-bed." 

Into Buckinghamshire, the vale of Aylesbury now 
on our left, and the Chiltern Hills, extending into Bed- 
fordshire, on our right. In Northamptonshire, the 
fields grew larger, and we admired those fertile pasture- 
lands on which are raised sheep, short-horned cattle, 
and especially the famous immense black horses. 

" Rich people live along here, Phil, I should say, from 
the looks of their mansions and parks. Weedon. Weedon. 
Another curious name." 

" We are now, my friend, in what was the country of 
the Mercians, and Mulphere, their king, had his princi- 
pal royal seat in this very town. There was another in 
Tamworth ahead of us." 

" I'm thankful it was'nt the Eomans. I've got right 
considerable tired of the Eomans since I've been over 
here, Phil, and it's a relief to me to see you gradually 
coming down from their times." 

"You have some rather unpleasant reminiscences, I 
think I've heard you say, connected with studying their 
language some years ago. Would it be too much for 
your feelings if I were to tell you that we had been 
travelling all day along by the side of a celebrated 
Roman road ? " 

" I would try to bear it for the sake — of your family. 
I've had to put up with a good deal from you since we 
left home. But make it short. Old Dumnorix never 
got up this far, did he ? " 

"Dumnorix was no Roman. He was an Aeduan, 
man." 

"It makes no difference. I remember he had a heap 

23 



%G6 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

to do with Latin. I took him to be a tremendously 
smart old fellow, for he said a many a thing that I 
could'nt understand." 

"Why, he could' nt speak Latin at all. Don't you 
remember what Caesar says in the conference about 
" interpretiMis remotis f " 

"Excuse me, if you please. Well, sir, if Dumnorix 
was'nt here, and if he did'nt travel along this road, I'll 
be blamed if T know who did." 

"Watling street again; the modern name of Strata 
Vitelliana, in honor of the Emperor Vitellius." 

"Why, that's as bad as the Weeklies of Hancock 
county. Sixty years ago they came there, spelling 
their name V-o-i-c-l-e. It got to be, first, Voicly, then 
Woickly, then Wickly, then Weekly. But I don't want 
to interrupt you. Go ahead, and follow old Watlirtg as 
far back as she'll take you." 

"No, sir. Between Dumnorix the Aeduan, and the 
Weeklies of Hancock, my mind is rendered incapable of 
further pursuit in that direction." 

" Rugby Station ; five minutes," sang out the porters, 
as they swung open the carriage doors. 

Jim stepped out just to have it to say that he had 
been where Tom Brown used to stay. When he returned, 
and we were off again, he made some reflections. 

"A great book, Phil, that Tom Broivn at Rugby, and 
a great teacher, Dr. Arnold. He had sense, that Arnold ; 
a thing that ain't so very common with school-masters 
as far as I've known that tribe of folks. I'm not talking 
about looks now, mind you, but sense. Dr. Arnold had 
sense. That was a curious old doctrine of school-mas- 
ters of dealing with school-boys as if the whole kit was 
one solid lump, and had to be handled in a lump. The 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 267 

bother with school-masters often is that they don't seem 
to see any difference in boys. They can't, or they wont 
trust any one boy more than another. There seems to be 
something in school -keeping that confuses a man's 
senses, and makes him mix up things generally. Even 
if one starts right, it ain't long before he's in the groove, 
making his rules that take in everybody, and that 
nobody can follow. Now, Arnold had sense enough to 
see that there's a difference among boys as there is 
among men, and that they've got to be treated according 
as they are gentlemen or rascals. Tom Brown shows 
that. I took to Arnold as soon as I heard somebody 
say that he had made one boy give another who deserved 
it a thrashing. It made me read the book, blamed if it 
did'nt." 

"You've always been a pugnacious fellow, Jim. If 
you are not in a fight yourself, you like to hear of one." 

"Not at all. Fighting is a business that don't pay, 
and I've done monstrous little of it. Yet my opinion 
is that when it's necessary, you've got it to do, and when 
you get into it, you ought to do your level best to whip 
it. Sometimes a fellow lias to fight, or show that he 
will fight, and that's often the best way to keep from 
fighting. Now, the old school- masters had a fool-rule 
about fighting, that whoever fought, no matter what it 
was about, or who began it, or who whipped, or who 
got whipped, had to be whipped by them afterwards. 
And they had many another no better. I'd like to know 
why it is that school-masters, as a general rule, have so 
little common sense ? " 

"If they have, it is because society thus requires or 
used to require of them. Society seems to believe, espe- 
cially in the case of boys, that their sons need an ordeal 



268 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

of mean treatment and unreasonable management which 
they themselves are unwilling to take the trouble to 
inflict; and they are forced to devolve the business upon 
others, who, often unfit for any other, are willing to 
undertake that. Such an occupation separates them, to 
a degree, from the rest of the world, and they lose the 
important knowledge which comes from contact with 
mankind. Their associations are only, or mostly, with 
boys, and upon such terms as are naturally provocative 
of mutual hostility. The school is a little temporary 
absolute monarchy during a brief period, and that the 
most uninteresting in the life of a human being ; known 
to be such by both teacher and pupil. The brief ruler's 
safety seems to him to consist in exacting every possible 
subservience, and the pupil's enjoyment is in rendering 
as little as possible consistently with his escape from 
punishment. Then, some parents desire a rigid rule, 
and some a mild. The schoolmaster, who seldom thinks 
he can afford to lose any of his pupils, tries to steer as 
well as he can between the two, assume to be rigid when 
he is mild, and mild when he is rigid. Then again the 
ceaseless routine of the same things, and generally small 
things, the habit of mind of moving everlastingly in 
circles, and small circles, at that, tend to belittle. In 
society the schoolmaster does not always seem to know 
what position he ought to take, because his own life 
knows of but two — the head and the foot. His deport- 
ment, therefore, is often a sort of compound of dictato- 
rialness and subserviency. Arnold was a man who had 
strength enough to understand all such. He was a 
man of common sense, as you say, and governed his school 
as he governed his own family. 
" You are right, sir. Now, my son, Buck, when he 



TWO GRAY TOUKISTS, 269 

came out of college, took a notion to keep a school awhile. 
I said nothing against it, though I had an idea that that 
business would'nt suit one of my tribe. The first time 
Buck came home to see us, when they had a holiday, I 
noticed that he was often bringing up Latin words in 
his talk. I happened to look in his hat one day and saw 
the lining all written over with little sentences from the 
Latin Eeader. And then he would be frequently catch- 
ing up his mother and the rest, except me, in their 
words. I told Buck if he did'nt mind he'd make a fool 
of himself. Old Buck quit the business and went to 
work on the land I had ready for him, and, though I say 
it, he's a fellow of sense and doing well. That business 
did'nt suit Buck, or Back did'nt suit the business, I 
don't know which." 

" It is a difficult business, certainly. The best way to 
govern boys, I think, is to leave much of their govern- 
ment to themselves. Constant watching, I think, is a 
great mistake. Boys are like men — the better you treat 
them the better they'll be. It is difficult for a man to be 
a detective and a gentleman at the same time, and none 
but a gentleman ought to be intrusted with the guidance 
of youth, especially sons of gentlemen. In late years 
changes are being made, some of them much for the 
better in the discipline of schools and in the relations of 
school-masters with other people." 

That night, at the Adelphi, we saw several Americans, 
some of whom we had met before in our travels, who 
were there preparing to return by the Bothnia, which 
was to sail on the next day but one. 

" Just to think of it," said Jim ; " these fellows will 
all be nigh home at the time we start. By the way, Phil, 
about those lakes up there, are they such great things ? " 

23* 



270 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

I replied that they were not large, and not so pic- 
turesque as those in Switzerland, but certainly were 
jewels in their way and worth seeing. I rather expected 
him to say more upon this subject, but he did not, until 
we had gotten to bed. 

"Phil, they say this out-going ship is one of the 
stoutest of the line, and that McMickin is the cleverest 
of all the captains. I wonder we did'nt find that out 
before engaging return passage on the Servia" 

" Is that so ? " I replied quickly. 

He laughed. 

" What are you laughing at ? " 

" I'm laughing because I see, you old hypocrite, that 
you are as anxious to go home as I am." 

" Would you really like to go by this ship, Jim ? " 

"Would you?' 

" What about the English lakes and Ireland ? " 

" Oh, they, especially the lakes, were your programme. 
They're none of my business. However, it's no use talk- 
ing: the ship's full." 

" Don't you suppose — " I paused. 

" Suppose what ? " 

"Nothing." 

" Well, suppose I do suppose." 

" Well, sir, suppose away ; I'm willing." 

He jumped out of bed, rang the bell, and ordered a 
bottle of champagne. 

" It's too good, Phil, to go to sleep on right away. I 
was just a waiting to see what you wanted to do. It 
would have killed me to see those fellows start home a 
week before us, but I would'nt let on, and did'nt intend 
to until I saw how you looked to-night when they were 
talking about home. I saw you were as bad off as I was." 



TWO GEAY TOUEISTS. 271 

"And have you been homesick, Jim ? " 

"Nigh unto death." 

He almost shouted with laughter, while his eyes shed 
tears. 

" I did'nt know it, Jim." 

" Of course you did'nt, and I should'nt have let you 
know it if I had'nt seen that you at last were in for it, 
too." 

" But you say the ship's full." 

"Never you mind about that; I'll fix that or die a 
trying." 

The next day about eleven o'clock he returned from 
the Cnnard office with our tickets exchanged, saying he 
had obtained for us the officers' quarters. 

Captain McMickin was all that he had been repre- 
sented. In the quiet but vigorous and efficient discharge 
of his duties, and his courteousness to passengers of 
every condition, there cannot be, I believe, his superior 
on any line of the Atlantic steamers. At Queenstown 
about one hundred and fifty steerage-passengers came on. 
Among* them was a young man who played remarkably 
well on the accordeon. "When we had been out three or 
four days and all were well over seasickness, they, on fine 
afternoons, commenced to have on deck dances and 
games, in which the sailors, when off duty, joined. Our 
eagerness, as we drew nearer home, was softened by the 
sight of the simple enjoyments of these poor emigrants. 
Even the aged among them, whose anguish we had 
noticed at Queenstown, when they had parted, knowing 
it to be forever, from their friends and native country, 
were led at last to look smilingly on as the young men 
and girls tripped it to the accordeon's notes, or won and 
lost at other sports and took and paid their forfeits. 



272 TWO GEAY TOURISTS. 

As we neared the shore, we became more and more 
eager to reach it, and it was as if we had met a dear 
friend who had been long absent when the pilot came 
on board. Jim said that this officer looked so natural 
that he felt like asking him about Emily and the chil- 
dren, blamed if he did'nt. He eagerly seized the New 
York papers and devoured them. 

" Oh, it's so homelike : it makes home come all over me 
in big spots to be reading one of our own papers. I 
want to make 'em last, you see, Phil. I'm going to read 
every line in 'em. I'm like old man Sentry about the 
Southern Recorder. It came always on a Wednesday, 
and he made it last till the next Tuesday night. It was 
the only paper he took. He'd always begin at the begin- 
ning, * The Southern Recorder is published at Millidge- 
ville, Georgia, etc.,' and then on to the rates of advertis- 
ing. He read slow and loud, and when he got tired he'd 
make a cross mark where he left off and begin there the 
next time he took up the paper. He would' nt get to the 
news till about Saturday, and Monday and Tuesday he'd 
wind up with the advertisements. That's the way I'm 
doing with these old Heralds. I tell you that paper's a 
book. These advertisements get me. Here's women that 
Want somebody to come and suckle their children, and 
women that want to suckle other people's children, and 
women that want to get acquainted with men, and men 
that want to get acquainted with women, with different 
vieivs, as they call it, as matrimony, pleasant society, 
mutual improvement, and all such, but all of 'em views 
of devilment of some sort, I don't doubt. Oh, the (lif- 
erent kinds of devilment that are in such a place as New 
York. However, there's a plenty of ifc everywhere, as to 
that," and he would turn again to the paper. 



TWO GRAY TOUEISTS. 273 

Next morning, I was roused from sleep by his shout- 
ing, " Hail, Columby ! " He was fully dressed, and had 
come down from the deck where he had been to see the 
land, now in full view. 

" ' Come, arouse thee, arouse thee, my brave Swiss boy, 
Take thy pail and — ' 

"Come up and see your native country once more. 
I've been looking at her for an hour. I would'nt wake 
you, because I knew that when you're taking your morn- 
ing nap, as you call it, you don't care a continental for 
your native country, your family, your friends, nor any- 
body, nor anything else in this wooden world. But it's 
breakfast time any how. So, fall to rising, fall to rising." 

As we n eared the landing, he again joined heartily in 
the waving of hats and handkerchiefs, and kissing of 
hands to those on shore. 

" Blame it all, Phil, they're my countrymen, and I'm 
glad to see them whether they are so to see me or not." 

While we were standing at Jersey City waiting for 
the south-bound train to start, I asked him if he did 
not intend to send a telegram to his family. 

"No. It would have to go by mail from Augusta, 
and besides, would scare Emily half to death. We 
seldom use the telegraph in my neighborhood, except in 
case of death, or some other bad or urgent news, and a 
despatch always scares whoever gets it." 

"Then there's something in operating an agreeable 
surprise/' 

"That there is, you bet. Phil, do you know, sir, I 
feel much like I did the day I started to my wedding, 
blamed if I don't ; only I'm surer in my mind now than 
I was then that all's right." 



274 TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 

The few hours that we were together before reaching 
the place of my residence, were spent now in retrospect- 
ing upon the various scenes over which we had travelled, 
and now in my listening to my companion's descantings 
upon Georgia. I found (what, indeed, I had all along 
believed) that the things which had impressed me 
mostly, had been much more interesting to him than he 
had before admitted, and that his apparent disregard of 
them had been assumed, partly from playfulness, and 
partly to subdue my too fond proneness for those that 
were antiquated. I am free to say that I found also that 
his observations had been more accurate and his reflec- 
tions far more profound than my own both upon the 
past and present conditions of the peoples amongst 
whom we had been. Among many other things, he 
said: 

" I'm glad we made this journey, Phil, and I try to 
be thankful to the good Lord that He let us make it in 
safety. Seeing foreigners in their own homes has done 
away with some big mistakes I've been making all of 
my life. I find that other people are as sensible as ours, 
as brave, as honest, as patriotic, and as religious. Travel 
is the thing to knock the bottom out of a fellow's pride 
and his prejudices. Yet all this don'fc keep me from 
being thankful, more so than before, if anything, for 
being born, and raised, and let live where I was." 

Then he talked at length upon Georgia, its climate, 
its comparative freedom from exclusive knots in its 
social existence, its adaptability to generous production, 
not only of the grains and cotton, but of many of the 
fruits of the tropics, as well as those of more northern 
latitudes. He spoke heartily of the persistent industry 
with which the people had striven to repair the losses 



TWO GRAY TOURISTS. 275 

caused by the war, and how in spite of some miscalcula- 
tions and disappointments, general improvement was 
always existing, and lately becoming more and more 
clearly apparent. 

" What we want down there, Phil, more than anything 
else, is for some of these Northern people to come among 
us, buy the land we no longer need in such quantities 
as before the war, and settle on it, and, by gracious, be 
of us. Many of them, J know, think we don't like 
them, but they are mistaken. We would be glad to 
have them, not only as citizens, but as neighbors, that 
is, of course, such as are fit to be either. There are 
thousands of plantations (I have several myself) with 
good dwellings and out-houses on them, that can be 
bought at from four to ten dollars per acre. Three 
thousand dollars will buy a good plantation of five hun- 
dred acres, which a man who is sensible and industrious, 
with the crops made on it, can pay for in two or three 
years, besides supporting his family, and live in a house 
that costs more than that money. Or, with five or six 
hundred dollars paid down, he can get as long payments 
as he wants for the balance of the purchase-money." 

Other things he said on this line, and about the 
negroes and their relations with the whites that were 
deeply interesting to me. He regards the condition of 
the negro, compared with those of the other races, as 
one of childhood, childhood ungrowing, and incapable 
to become adult. He is dependent upon the white man, 
like a child is dependent upon a father, capable to be 
led to good, liable to be led to evil, according as his 
guide is sensitive or not to the behests of his relation. 
Observations of results of emancipation have served to 
make stronger this opinion. While these, after recover- 



276 TWO GRAY TOURISM. 

ing from the first prostration wrought by sudden revo- 
lution, hav3 been beneficial to the white man, they have 
saddened the negro by the evidences they have given of 
his incompetency for the most important exigences of 
his being. In this depression, his chief support is the 
conviction that his white neighbors in the main, so far 
from wishing his return to the condition of servitude, 
would never consent to it; that they compassionate his 
unalterable dependence, and are willing to do whatever 
they can, while minding their own, to help in all the 
development that is within reach of his powers. To 
cheat at all is a vice ; but in Georgia to cheat a negro is 
regarded as about the meanest of which white men are 
capable. 

Such and similar conversations that, during several 
weeks, we had had, led me to remark how experience in 
a long, energetic, honorable career had ripened his judg- 
ment and made ever nobler his spirit. Our very last 
talks I could not, if I would, rehearse. It was in vain 
I tried to induce his tarrying with me even for a night. 
My life-long friend, always loved and trusted, showed, I 
thought, that he felt as I, that after a journey, long to 
men at our age, we were knitted together, if possible, 
more closely than before. When the time of separation 
came, we took hands, and with trembling voices and 
moist eyes, said good-bye. And I could not but yearn 
as I looked after him journeying on alone. 



[the end.] 

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